Building a Eucharistic Marriage

Building a Eucharistic Marriage Building a Eucharistic Marriage is a 7 part online program for Catholic couples. The Discovering Our Deepest Desire (D.O.D.D.) The D.O.D.D.

curriculum is not just about strengthening marriages, but it is also about building Marriage Education teams in our church that provide marriage support and encouragement to those in need. It seeks to encourage ongoing support versus a “flash-in-the-pan” approach. Too many people wait too long to get help for their marriage, out of fear of what it will look like to others. Often, couple’s wait until their marriage is in extreme crises or at the end-of-the-rope before finally seeking help; and often, at this point, it is too late. concept is built upon creating ongoing support for couples and for reducing the stigma of marriage education being only for those in trouble. Rather, it should be readily available in our churches in order to help couples grow in and work at their marriage, ongoing, with the support of their faith community.

01/29/2026

Marriage Matters Video #85 -- Lasting Memories

One of the great destroyers of rebuilding trust in a marriage is when we hide things from our spouse in this process. Tr...
01/20/2026

One of the great destroyers of rebuilding trust in a marriage is when we hide things from our spouse in this process. Transparency is vitally important, especially in today’s culture. Trust is getting harder and harder to rebuild once broken because we live in an age where we can live secret lives and do secret things, through our computer or cell phone that can be erased and denied. Secrets kill, so we need to kill the secrets! If you have been keeping secrets, stop immediately and work to heal and create more transparency in your relationship. If you have not – GREAT! I will also add, don’t start - because this area can become, a very tricky one from which to rebuild trust, even with the best of therapy.

I have seen many couples, one or both persons, who have struggled with having had an inappropriate relationship with another person through Facebook, texting, or through chat rooms, and are savvy enough, to try to get rid of the evidence. The person doing this behavior is creating a pattern from which it can be hard to regain trust, when they do decide to stop, because their spouse may never know if they are truly changing or just getting better at covering their tracks. This can become a struggle for both, even if the offender is really trying to change. It takes a lot more time, effort and, in some cases, a lot of money to really prove that you are truly being transparent and trying to change.

Transparency is your best defense in marriage, right from the beginning. If we are one flesh but feel like our spouse is hiding stuff from us (feelings, relationships, bank accounts, etc.), this will only result in us living a life that is a lie and a mockery of our covenantal oath before God Himself. How can we expect God to bless our vows as we are destroying them! We need to build in firewalls or boundaries into our life that keep an open line of communication with, and a view into our daily events for, our spouse. Trusting our helpmate is critical on this journey toward Heaven!

ACTION STEP: This week, take stock of all the ways you keep things about your life secret from your spouse and consider getting those things out of your life and, if needed, repair the damage that it may have done.

I’ve said to my children on many occasions that unless we are willing to do what is challenging or uncomfortable in life...
01/13/2026

I’ve said to my children on many occasions that unless we are willing to do what is challenging or uncomfortable in life, we will always limit what God can do through us. He can make us so much more than we could ever imagine, through His Grace & love, yet it is when we hide away in our comfort zones and don’t seek to stretch ourselves, that God is limited in working through us because of our resistance. Our marriage calls for us to seek to create a life together that takes the best of who we are and magnify it; that takes the worst of who we are and, with help from our spouse and God, reshape it into something that is life-giving and of value to our family, or maybe even to get that pattern out of our life altogether. For the most part, we are not called to deny or change the “in-born” parts of who we are, but with aspects, such as our personalities, for example, we certainly can seek to control aspects to benefit our spouse and our families.

By nature, I may be a person who needs organization in my life. That’s fine as long as it doesn’t always rule my family by forcing them to be so organized that it stifles their creativity or time to relax. On the other hand, these skills can and should be used to benefit the physical, emotional, and spiritual wellbeing of the family as a whole. As a couple it would be important to see the value of the organizational skills in things like finances, home order, or even event and time management. If a person has a personality of being more playful, it may be important for them to not always use their jovialness to avoid dealing with problems, but rather consider utilizing humor, at appropriate times, when life seems overwhelming. Their playfulness could also be used in planning vacations or events like family time or date nights.

Too often our differences attract us to each other before marriage and then annoy us during marriage. It is important as a couple to work together in making our individual qualities an asset to our marriage versus a burden. This has much to do with our perspective and desire to open our hearts to the value of what the other person brings to our life, not just before marriage but ongoing throughout.

ACTION STEP: This week, consider both spouses taking a personality assessment and utilizing the information to learn more about each other’s strengths and areas for growing in.

01/07/2026

Marriage Matters Video #84 -- New Year's Pattern

Coming out of years of putting my foot in my mouth in conversations with my wife, I have developed a saying in response ...
12/30/2025

Coming out of years of putting my foot in my mouth in conversations with my wife, I have developed a saying in response to my wife’s frustration, “Listen to what I mean, not what I say.” The first time I used that, my wife was not too happy, and it led to a long discussion. Now that our relationship is much more in sync with each other and we have worked at a better communication style, I use this phrase only to joke around and to get her to laugh when I actually say something without thinking it through and know it was not well received. Then I try again.

What I’ve learned through many mistakes in my marriage is that we need to develop patience and gentleness in our ‘more lively’ discussions. Numerous couples, that I have counseled over the years, have expressed regret over many things that were said in their marital spats and readily admit that it was due to being caught up in the emotion. These thoughtless responses, accusations, and sometimes foul words, mixed with an angry tone, only become memories that spouses find harder to forgive than the original offending actions.

So, my recommendation, first and foremost, is to take a time out when conversations get heated. Calm down and pray for patience, gentleness, and a spirit of understanding. Then when you go back (hopefully not days later) to discuss the issue further, take time to truly hear what is being said and to try to understand your spouse’s intent or meaning behind their words. Take time to think through your responses, and at all cost, say things with gentleness and a desire to build up and not tear down.

ACTION STEP: This week, work at patience, gentleness and a spirit of understanding whenever possible.

12/17/2025

Marriage Matters Video #83 -- Parenting 103

Our office will be closed on Wednesday, December 24th and Thursday, December 25th.
12/16/2025

Our office will be closed on Wednesday, December 24th and Thursday, December 25th.

I was talking to a co-worker today, and they asked, “Why is it that we pray for so many people in our life but often for...
12/16/2025

I was talking to a co-worker today, and they asked, “Why is it that we pray for so many people in our life but often forget to pray for our spouse?” This also led to a further discussion about how, when we do pray for our spouse, often we are not specific in our request for them, unless something traumatic is happening in their life. I’m sure this might have been an over-exaggeration and that many husbands and wives probably do pray for their spouse. Yet, I have met many couples who have admitted to regularly forgetting to pray for their spouse, or at least just simply adding a “Please help my husband also” at the end.

God knows our prayers before we even ask them, but Christ still stated to all of us, “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened to you. Everyone who asks receives; everyone who seeks finds; everyone who knocks will have the door opened”(Matt. 7:7-8). Christ is calling us to love one another as He has loved us, and he prayed continuously for His beloved. (John 17:9,15,20) “I pray for them...the ones You have given me, because they are Yours…I do not ask that You take them out of the world but that You keep them from the evil one…I pray not only for them, but also for those who will believe me through their word…”. So, too, as helpmates to our spouse, we are called to pray and fast for our spouse and their specific needs.

Don’t ever underestimate the power of your prayer for them and don’t expect God to do what you want, but rather to do what is needed for their greater good. Consider also the power of fasting, proclaimed by Christ, as another form of prayer for your beloved. Consider fasting once a week from something that you desire, offering it up as a prayer for your spouse and your marriage. The beauty of our prayers for others, especially our spouse, is learning a deeper form of loving those costs us time and intentionality.

ACTION STEP: This week, specifically pray every day for your spouse and their needs, great or small.

(Matthew 16:24) “Then Jesus said to his disciples, ‘Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross...
12/10/2025

(Matthew 16:24) “Then Jesus said to his disciples, ‘Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me.’”

All of our problems in life are our crosses to bear. We either bear them alone, or we bear them with God’s grace. God has also given us our spouse, out of grace and love, in order to give us companionship in helping us bear life’s burdens together. This is what true love does. It sacrifices for another in order to help them on their journey and to deepen their experience of love. This is true even when we have been the cause of the cross for the other person. Jesus is calling to us to share in His cross so as to learn deeper love through sacrifice, forgiveness, and love for each other.

This is illustrated so powerfully in the crucifixion scene when Simon of Cyrene reluctantly helps Jesus carry the cross. If you think about it, Simon was reluctant and even indignant about the idea of having to help carry a cross for this criminal; yet it is the sins of Simon, as well as each one of us, who placed it on Christ’s back in the first place. Yet, tradition teaches that, this event utterly transformed Simon’s life.

We shouldn’t begrudge having to walk through these challenges with each other. Nor should we find pride in helping each other. Rather we are called to love as Christ loved and humbly walk this journey together as a sacrifice of love for each other.

ACTION STEP: This week, seek to be more joyful as you bear one another’s burdens and offer this up as a prayer for your spouse.

The ‘meaning of life’ from the Catechism of the Catholic Church states that it is “to know, love and serve the Lord in t...
12/10/2025

The ‘meaning of life’ from the Catechism of the Catholic Church states that it is “to know, love and serve the Lord in this life and to be happy with Him in the next.” So, what does this have to do with my marriage? Everything! We are here to discover what St. Augustine stated as the “deepest desire” of every human being, to discover what is at the heart of every human relationship, and to discover what gives each of us a deeper purpose for not only making our marriages good, but the best that they could be! St. Augustine stated that: “The deepest desire of every human heart is to be seen and to see another in that same way.”

Every human being desires to be loved and to be seen for whom we truly are; seen down deep, past the bodily imperfections, the bad breath, the aging spots, and such. We long for someone to see our dreams and hopes, our fears and sadness, our beliefs and values, our talents, and our humor; and to see it all and not mock us, ridicule us, laugh at us, or worse yet – reject us. We long to be seen and loved despite these. We long for someone who will walk with us on this tough life journey and who is committed to “holding us close,” especially when life gets vicious and when tragedies happen.

We want to know that someone cares enough to see our faults and yet still loves us enough to help us in overcoming them and become something better than we could ever be on our own. That is what marriage is about: becoming something better than we could ever be on our own. One great way we can grow in knowing, loving, and serving the Lord is by knowing, loving, and serving our spouse.

ACTION STEP: This week, seek more ways to know your spouse deeper and more ways to show them love and serve them.

12/03/2025

Marriage Matters Video #82 -- Parenting 102

Our office will be closed on Thursday, November 27th and Friday, November 28th.
11/26/2025

Our office will be closed on Thursday, November 27th and Friday, November 28th.

Address

4945 Riverton Road
Dayton, OH
45414

Opening Hours

Monday 9am - 5pm
Tuesday 9am - 5pm
Wednesday 9am - 5pm
Thursday 9am - 5pm
Friday 9am - 5pm

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