01/13/2025
Are you someone that absolutely dreads the holidays because of all of the drama and stress that it can produce?
In this article, Angelina talks about ways to navigate the holidays so it can be a little less stressful.
Surviving the Holidays: A Trauma Informed Guide to Navigating a Challenging Season
The holiday season can be a time of joy, but for many, it also brings heightened stress, anxiety, depression, and emotional strain. We idealize the holidays as a time for togetherness and celebration. However, the holidays can be especially difficult for those who are grieving, experiencing financial strain, or dealing with past trauma. External pressures and internal challenges can make this time of year feel overwhelming. If you’re finding the season hard to navigate, you’re not alone. Here’s a trauma-sensitive guide to help you survive and even thrive during the holidays.
Why the Holidays Are So Stressful for Many
There are several reasons the holiday season can feel particularly stressful, especially for those with a trauma history:
• Heightened Expectations: Society often promotes an idealized version of the holidays—perfect family gatherings, flawless decorations, and endless joy. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy, especially if your reality doesn’t match these ideals.
• Family Dynamics: The holidays often bring people together, but for some, this means confronting difficult family relationships or painful memories. Unresolved conflicts or toxic dynamics can make gatherings feel emotionally exhausting and hurtful.
• Financial Pressure: With the emphasis on gift-giving, travel, and elaborate meals, the financial strain can be overwhelming, particularly if you’re already struggling.
• Grief and Loss: The holidays may intensify feelings of grief for those who have lost loved ones, creating a sense of loneliness or sadness that may not be as prevalent at other times of the year.
• Sensory Overload: The lights, sounds, and crowds associated with the season can be overstimulating, especially for those who struggle with anxiety, PTSD, or sensory challenges.
Strategies for Navigating the Holidays
1. Set Realistic Expectations: The pressure to create a "perfect" holiday can be unrealistic and overwhelming. It’s okay if your experience doesn’t match commercials or your friends’ social media posts. You don’t have to participate in everything, and it’s important to honor your emotional and physical limits.
2. Prioritize Self-Care: Self-care is not selfish—it’s essential. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, don’t hesitate to cancel plans, take a day off, or retreat to a quiet space. Engage in activities that help you recharge, whether that’s reading, taking walks, or simply resting.
3. Establish Boundaries: Family gatherings can bring up unresolved conflicts, and it’s important to set boundaries to protect yourself. This might include limiting time with certain people, avoiding triggering topics, or politely declining invitations to events that feel too emotionally taxing.
4. Create a Calm Environment: If the external world feels chaotic, create a sanctuary at home. Surround yourself with things that soothe you—a cozy blanket, your favorite music, or calming scents. A peaceful space can provide a sense of control and help you feel more grounded.
5. Reach Out for Support: You don’t have to face the holidays alone. Reach out to trusted friends, family members, or a therapist who understands what you're going through. Online communities or support groups can also provide a sense of connection and comfort when you need it most.
6. Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness practices, like deep breathing, meditation, or grounding exercises, can help you stay present and manage feelings of anxiety or overwhelm. These tools can also help you navigate intense emotions that might arise during the holiday season.
7. Honor Your Emotions: The holidays can bring up grief, anger, or sadness—especially if you're mourning a loss or struggling with your past. Allow yourself to feel these emotions without judgment. You don’t need to "fake it" or force yourself into a celebratory mood. Take time to be with your feelings and figure out what you need to soothe yourself.
8. Try Not to Compare: Social media and holiday commercials often highlight the "perfect" holiday moments, but these snapshots aren’t reality. Your holiday experience doesn’t have to match anyone else’s. It’s okay to do things differently and on your own terms.
The holidays don’t have to be a time of heightened stress. By acknowledging why this season can be difficult and using trauma-informed strategies to care for yourself, you can find ways to cope and even enjoy the moments that bring you peace. Whether it’s setting boundaries, practicing self-care, or seeking support, remember: your emotional well-being matters, and it’s okay to navigate the season in a way that feels right for you.
You are not alone—take the holidays at your own pace and give yourself the gift of kindness and understanding.