09/05/2021
Can I get an AMEN?
“I think my child is struggling with anxiety and we’re eager to get him in for an appointment.”
I am a mental health counselor who works with children, which means I usually have a small window of time to see kids during after-school hours.
Often my schedule is full, and I have to suggest that parents pull their child out of school for an hour in order to get them in for an appointment as soon as possible.
Seven times out of ten, parents will say “we don’t want to pull her out from school, we’ll just have to wait”.
This always floors me.
I recognize that parents having concern over their child’s school work is a positive thing.
I ALSO recognize that without their child’s mental health in tact, none of it matters.
After all, what good will come from sitting in a classroom, when a child’s mind is frozen in fear- over when they might be called on next to speak and if they’ll have another panic attack?
What good will come from sitting in a classroom when you believe you have little to no self-worth and sometimes consider taking your own life?
What good will come from sitting in a classroom when you severely struggle to focus and end up striking out verbally or physically at those around you, because you can’t bear to be vulnerable to any more criticism or shame?
Learning can ONLY be achieved with good mental health.
We know this because when a child is stuck in their ‘emotion brain’ (ie overactivated amygdala) they do not have full access to their ‘thinking brain’ (frontal cortex).
We also know this because our child’s quality of life should come before academics, athletics or ANYTHING else.
One day, school will be over and our kids will be left to navigate the world on their own.
Will they have the self confidence to take on the challenges both large and small, that life will bring?
Will they have the emotional intelligence to understand their own emotions and the feelings of others, in order to have healthy and successful relationships?
Well they have the coping skills in times of disappointment and frustration to practice good self-care and not turn to self-harm, drugs, or alcohol?
Childhood is a time for mental health to be taught, nurtured and preserved.
If we don’t do this as parents, our child’s greatest advocates, then who will?
Angela Pruess LMFT I www.parentswithconfidence.com