Dr Alduan Tartt

04/01/2026

TOP SIX NEEDS OF WOMEN IN RELATIONSHIPS

If you’ve ever said “he just doesn’t get me” — this one is for you. Check out my latest YouTube video for the full list.

Need #3 — To Be Understood & Emotionally Attuned

She doesn’t always need you to fix it. She needs you to feel it with her. Women repeatedly name feeling heard, validated, and understood as one of their deepest needs in marriage — a husband who listens without jumping to solutions, who knows her story, her triggers, her dreams.

Women desire men who have the ability to talk deeply consistently so she feels loved, seen and heard. Conversation and emotional connection are true pathways to the heart and mind of a great woman.

Being emotionally engaged with your partner is not weakness, men. It’s called connection and that’s what creates and maintains feelings which is the currency of love and marriage.

📖 “Be quick to listen, slow to speak.” — James 1:19

Save this and send it to someone who needs it.

Do most men understand and show this in your dating and marriage experiences?

Men, were you ever taught this from anyone in your family or life? Just curious…

Drop it in the comments. 👇

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DrTart

03/28/2026

The Situationship Era Is OVER

Let me say what everybody’s been feeling but nobody’s been saying out loud —
Black people still want to get married.

Not situationships. Not “what are we.” Not talking stages that last two years.
Marriage.
And I’ve got the receipts.

BLK — one of the largest Black dating apps in the country — just dropped their Second Annual State of Black Singles Report.

Over 5,000 Black singles surveyed across the United States. And what they found should be headline news.

Let me break it down for you.

1) Black singles are DONE playing games.

75% of BLK users said they are actively seeking an intentional, serious, or marriage-minded connection.

75 percent. That is not a fringe group. That is not a minority opinion. That is three out of four Black singles saying I came here for real love.

The culture told you we gave up on marriage. The data says we never did.

2) Gen Z is choosing celibacy — and still choosing marriage.

Now this one shocked even me.

More than half of Gen Z respondents said they are currently not sexually active — choosing celibacy or abstinence as a way to protect their peace and preserve their emotional bandwidth.

And yet, 82% still want or are open to marriage.

The generation everybody called the hookup generation is out here protecting their peace and believing in commitment.

Don’t sleep on Gen Z. They might be the most intentional generation we’ve seen.

3: Loyalty has been redefined — and the standards are HIGH.

The majority of respondents require either an explicit conversation or an official title before considering a relationship committed. Assumed exclusivity?

That’s a no. And more than half say that maintaining an active dating profile after exclusivity is an act of betrayal.

Your digital footprint IS your character. People are watching what you do online more than ever.

Singles: Do you agree with this report?

What is your initial reaction? Come on. I’m here for the comment section.

03/26/2026

If you’ve ever wondered, “What do women really need from a husband?” this is for you.

I brea down the six core needs that make wives feel loved, secure, and cherished—plus the scriptures that back them.

Here we go:
1️⃣ Emotional safety & trust – no harshness, no hidden life (Colossians 3:19, 1 Corinthians 13:4–5)

2️⃣ Affection & warmth – daily tenderness and non‑sexual affection (Ephesians 5:28)

3️⃣ Being understood – listening and real emotional attunement (1 Peter 3:7, James 1:19)

4️⃣ Respect & partnership – honoring her as an equal image‑bearer (Ephesians 5:21, 5:25)

5️⃣ Security & provision – reliable, steady leadership and care (1 Timothy 5:8, Proverbs 14:26)

6️⃣ Appreciation & pursuit – not taking her for granted, still “dating” your wife (Romans 12:10, Ephesians 5:25)

Whether you’re a wife trying to put words to your needs or a husband who wants to love more like Christ, this will give you clear starting point to discuss and make sure you are meeting needs.

Ladies, is this research in line with your true needs? Anything left off? Any of these special emphasis for you right now?

I know I could work on a few of these to be honest.

Brothers, do you see any places where you can level up?

03/23/2026

Future Wives Don’t Get Played- They Show Up Ready & Able To Provide These Six Things To Their Future Husband

1) Emotional safety and peace. He is carrying racial stress, financial pressure, and the weight of a world that questions him daily. The woman who makes home feel safe does not just become attractive to him — she becomes irreplaceable.

“A peaceful heart leads to a healthy body.” — Proverbs 14:30

2) Respect and being valued. Not the performance of respect — the practice of it. Listening fully. Honoring him privately and publicly. Treating his perspective as worthy even in disagreement.

3) Loyalty and faithfulness. Standing with him not just physically but through job loss, setbacks, and hard seasons — without distancing yourself to protect your own image.

4) Support for his purpose. Believing in where he is going — not just evaluating where he currently stands. Being his teammate, not his critic. Because when two people are truly building together they make each other sharper, stronger, and better.

“Iron sharpens iron, and one person sharpens another.” — Proverbs 27:17

5) Friendship and affection. Being someone he genuinely enjoys. Someone whose company feels like rest. Everyday joy is not a small thing — it is the fuel that sustains everything else.

6) Shared values, faith, and family vision. Alignment on marriage, children, money, and God at the center. Because when the foundation is right everything built on top of it holds. And when it is wrong — nothing else is enough.

“Do not be unequally yoked — for what fellowship has light with darkness?” — 2 Corinthians 6:14

Okay, ladies, how many of these do you bring to the relationship and marriage table?

How do you screen for a Godly man who deserves all of these?

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Couple: Sergio & Atlantis

03/22/2026

Men are maturing and now see long-term friendship, connection and emotional intimacy as more important than just physical intimacy.

Why? They have observed men who are committed are building more of what they desire long-term (family, happiness, wealth, legacy, memories) and want to benefit themselves.

They are in alignment with what Harvard’s longitudinal study on men shows…Men are happier when their personal relationships thrive and you can’t do that with women you never commit to long-term.

Since most men do not have many friends, relationships play a huge role in long-term happiness.

Thoughts? Do you see this evolution in men?

Men, do you see yourself and friends more desirous of settling down as you mature and age?

03/19/2026

At what point do women have to earn “Queen treatment” when dating?

I have seen two viewpoints:

1) No, if a man asks a woman out in a date then he should be prepared to treat her to the best of his abilities.

2) Yes, if a woman shows herself to really respect, appreciate and value the man with small dates then she upgrades to full Queen treatment

Here’s where it gets complicated.

1) Men who do not have a lot of money limit the quality of the date and blame it on not wanting to be taken advantage of.

2) Men who have been used legitimately take it out on women who will would never do that and get mistreated for no reason

3) Women only want the date (dinner, etc.) and not the man

4) Men who have a lot of money but realize they are dating a lot of women in hopes to find a wife and spending thousands of dollars a month on dating and still haven’t found the one.

My solution: Date slowly and use talking on the phone and FaceTime to build true chemistry before going on a date and then go all out for your future wife.

Thoughts?

03/18/2026

03/15/2026

Response to, “The State of Black Dating Men 2026.” I did a full response on my YouTube (go check it out) but here is my response to women saying they want a man who can be vulnerable and not shut down.

Do you? Do you really? Most men have learned the hard way that opening up only leads to pain, feeling devalued and their vulnerabilities being used against them. So, most men say nothing and grit through the pain.

Lucky men have wives who allow him to take off his cape, be nourished and built up from the world of racism, hostile work environments, heavy load to carry family (parents, wife, kids and extended family- God forbid, he has to carry a whole business too. He can melt into her arms by night and conquer the world the next morning.

This is really what most of my brothers need and desire but they are having a hard time finding the right sisters (probably looking in the wrong places) who can love, build up, cherish and prefer a brother who is ambitious and would give his life for her. Can’t he have the “big piece of chicken”, get a back rub, be spoken of highly by his lady?

I think you get it. The women who really understand that being wife has ZERO to do with making money, looking cute or being fine and more to do with the ability to love a man will succeed in 2026 and beyond in dating.

Ladies, can your man really open up with you devaluing or disrespecting him?

03/15/2026

Churches are doing far more about the housing crisis than the public is aware and I want us to do even more!

Pastor Harvey Vaughn saw an empty parking lot and envisioned housing veterans and providing affordable housing versus people on the streets and challenged his congregation and community to build 26 affordable apartments.

This kickstarted the YIGBY movement (Yes In God’s BackYard) where churches all over the country are using land to solve the affordability and homeless problem in America.

What is your church building (or about to build when you send them this) to make America more affordable for all?

Matthew 25:35-40- “For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in…Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters a of mine, you did for me.”

Tell me what your church is doing to help the homeless and solve affordable housing?

03/14/2026

Did you read, “The State Of Dating Black Men in 2026?”

If not check it out and here’s what I feel she got right about women’s dating experiences but so very wrong when it comes to Black men’s truth.

Honestly, I found the article to be a great read by highly insulting, devaluing and totally felt misunderstood as Black man. I see why my good, single brothers are complaining about the dating pool being p*e for them too. Lawd 😂

The reality is that both genders are hurting in relationships and need healing, understanding and true love but I had to speak up for my healthy, healed brothers.

Go to my YouTube and see the whole episode.

If you are actually interested, here’s what the research says Black men actually want in relationships:

→ To be met, not worshipped
→ Safety to be vulnerable
→ Structure, not silence
→ Invited in, not interrogated
→ Your standards, not your contempt

Ladies, have you spoken with men to see why they disagree with the report on what they actually need?

Do you really think Black Mens needs are truly understood when it comes to dating or even marriage?

What did the report get right and wrong in your opinion? Also, be nice yet real@in your comments

03/14/2026

Your relationships can’t change if your mindset about love stays the same.

If you keep expecting chaos, betrayal, or disappointment, you’ll keep choosing and reacting from fear.

Dr. Alduan Tartt breaks down three psychological tools to renew your mind so you can love healthier:

1) Cognitive Restructuring (identify the belief driving your patterns)

2) Thought Defusion (stop believing every fearful thought), and

3) Stimulus Control & Cognitive Diet (feed your mind what builds peace, not bitterness).

Scriptures: Romans 12:2, 2 Timothy 1:7, Philippians 4:8.

03/13/2026

Is Your Church Doing Enough To Solve The Housing Crisis?

While everyone else is just talking…

The Church is SOLVING America’s housing crisis.

Here’s what they don’t tell you: One medical bill = 30 days from homelessness.

Medical debt is the #1 cause.

The gap between employed and unhoused? Smaller than you think.

7.1 MILLION affordable homes needed. 300,000 churches in America. Do the math: if each church built just 24 units, the crisis ENDS. Completely.

This isn’t theoretical. It’s happening RIGHT NOW:

🏠 Church of God in Christ: 18,000 homes across 200 congregations ($5 BILLION)

🏠 Alfred Street Baptist (founded 1806): 145 apartments at 30% of income

🏠 New Birth Missionary Baptist Church: 336 homes + community medical clinic

Isaiah 58:7 asks: “Is it not to provide the poor wanderer with shelter?” These churches answered YES.

The land exists. The mission exists. What’s missing is YOU asking the question.

Your church has a mission to care for “the least of these.” Families are one medical bill from homelessness.

The Bible commands us to shelter the wanderer.

Shout out what your local church is doing or needs to do after you ask…

“What Are We Building?”

👉 TAG your pastor. TAG your church