11/09/2025
One year ago today, my life changed in the most terrible of ways. When Dad texted me at work, my initial thought was, “But Ev’s ok.” I was in complete shock & didn’t want to believe the words I had just read. Then Mom called. The text wasn’t a mistake. You weren’t ok. I still couldn’t believe it was real; I didn’t want it to be real. In an instant, my heart completely shattered and for the rest of my life, there are pieces that will never get put back together. 💔
Here we are, a whole year later and I still don’t want to accept that you are gone and I will never get to see you again. What I would give for one more talk, one more hug. One year later and I am still filled with so much sadness. And anger. So much anger. I’m so mad that you left us. I’m mad at the system for failing you, for not notifying us sooner, for making us wait so long for answers. And I’m mad at myself for not being able to save you. I’m your big sister and it was my job to protect you. But I didn’t and I will never forgive myself for that. You were taken from us way too soon. I still have so many questions I know I’ll never get answers to. And even though I know nothing can bring you back, I’ll never stop looking for you. I’ll never stop thinking about you. I’ll never stop wishing I had done more. Maybe if I had said the right things or done something differently, you’d still be here today. I’ll never stop blaming myself for not being able to save you. 😔
Ev, I hope you are at peace. I hope you are free. I hope you can hear me when I talk to you and tell you how much I love and miss you. I hope you hear me when I talk about you to the kids. It’s hard to talk about you out loud because it still hurts so much, but I never want them to forget about their awesome Uncle E, my baby bro, the piece of my heart that will be forever missing. I love you, Ev. Always. ❤️
