10/22/2022
If you are worried that you are being controlling, or that someone else is being controlling with you, ask yourself this question....Is the person asking for change asking for more room to be their whole, true, free, self? Is the need about safety or acceptance?
Or are they asking you to shrink yourself so they don't have to feel uncomfortable or grow. Boundaries protect relationships and allow both people to co-exist in their most authentic states, even if they take some adaptation to implement.
Controlling requests ask people to shrink from who they really are.
Asking someone to stop saying racist things, is a boundary. (unsafe behavior)
Asking someone to stop having other friends, is controlling. (self care)
Asking someone to stop drinking heavily in your presence is a boundary. (unsafe behavior)
Asking someone to dress differently for you is controlling. (self-expression)
