04/29/2026
Your questions are pushing them away.
We’ve all been there. Your child gets in the car after school, you ask, “How was your day?” and you get a mumbled, “Fine,” followed by total silence or a meltdown over the color of their sippy cup.
It’s not because they don’t want to talk to you. It’s because their brains are FULL. A full day of school—navigating social rules, sensory input, and learning—takes immense cognitive energy. By the time they see you, they are empty. Questions, even the well-intentioned ones, require them to access memory, process language, and formulate a response.
That is a huge ask for an exhausted child.
At IBH, we teach parents to drop the questions during play because questions steal the lead from the child. The same applies after school. Instead of asking, just describe. Let them lead the transition back to connection without making them work for it.
Need the scripts to make this easier?
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