02/01/2023
When there is undesirable behavior or high stress experiences, connection is key. Connection is the single most important step in helping your child’s brain grow in resiliency, self confidence, and emotion regulation.
Remind yourself that when your child is displaying maladaptive behaviors or extreme stress responses, this is happening because the situation at hand is demanding skills they do not yet have to regulate and process the situation: it is beyond their capacity. Connecting with them, rather than isolating and punishing, assists in growth/learning with this particular situation so that over time, they internalize the skills needed to manage this demand.
A child who eventually grows into a well adjusted teen and young adult have had hundreds and hundreds of experiences connecting with their caregivers during stressful meltdowns.
This week, observe moments in which your child typically has a tough time managing their emotions (could be during transitions or starting bed time routine). Experiment with connecting with them during these moments (by being present, reassuring that you are there to help them, validating their emotions, and problem solving), and note how this shift influences your child’s stress responses in terms of duration and intensity.
