People House

02/24/2026

Perfection: Creativity’s Kryptonite || By Phannie Krentzman

What is perfection? “The condition, state or quality of being free or free as possible from all flaws or defects.”

This definition, from Webster, requires an agreement of what that condition of perfection means. Where does that idea come from? How do we construct the ideal perfection, why do we need perfection and what does it give us?

Perfection gives us protection and a sense of control. It gives permission to not try, because after all, perfection, though seemingly concrete, is quite malleable. You see, whatever we imagine as perfect suddenly changes when we achieve it or it doesn’t fulfill us the way we expected it to or doesn’t shield us from the pain we’d hoped to escape.

Perfection is a myth. Striving for it is a clue into how you are trying to guard yourself against pain. Perfection is also a trap, it’s a list of unachievable conditions to accomplish and put ahead of doing anything. A real fixation on perfection results in never starting anything that might actually mean something to you.

The conditions that outline perfection are not universal, we each have our own conclusions on what is perfect. Those conclusions create an amorphous state with an ever changing finish line. Constructing a perfection-ideal comes from wanting a sense of undeniable safety and control. You can discover what it is that you’re after in perfection if you ask yourself what achieving perfection will give you.

Imagine achieving perfection. What do you have now that you are flawless?

Is it that nothing can hurt you here? No chance of failure or pain? Are you impenetrable to others’ opinions or judgements? No fault found, no rejection in sight? Acceptance and belonging are yours and freedom ensues?

This ideal state is an illusion and perfection will never actually give it to you, because the truth is, you can’t become anything that you aren’t already.

Paradoxically, the more you pursue creating and being uniquely you the more you find perfection in the messy, the unexpected and the astonishing.

Perfection is a preoccupation and it is the kryptonite to creating. Creating is all about giving, giving life to a dream, idea or desire. Creating comes from vulnerability, and the acceptance of risk. There is nothing unique in being afraid of, or resistant to, our vulnerability, it is a universal human condition. When it comes to being human we all have something extremely basic in common, we are all wounded in relationship to what we love.

Creating and love are very closely related. Love is your inherent connection to something, for its own sake, and creating is giving life to that love. Making it into something from nothing. You will never have the perfect conditions or state of being to create, if you are looking for perfection. You are missing what you already have, which is a heart and the ability to bring it out into the world. The more you focus on the desire moving through you, to have a real connection with another person, to make art, or feel confident, less of your attention is given to the ephemeral conditions of perfection. And the secret no one tells you, is the more you give life to your heart, the more you heal and transform. Trying to control what you are controlling only gives more power to the very thing you are trying to escape.

So the next time you find yourself seeking perfection, ask yourself “what am I really after?” Acknowledge what lies beneath, be bravely vulnerable and choose to create instead.

About the Author: Phannie has a long career of being a movement artist, movement and embodiment educator and creator. During her career as a professional dancer, studio owner, and company founder, she spent her time uncovering what is true and real in this world. Originally used as tools to create content for performances with strong messaging about the human experience, she created the embodiment teachings and methodology of the Radical Love Movement.

Phannie has dedicated her life to authentic expression and understanding how consciousness works. She now has alchemical structure to support others in discovery and application of their authentic selves expressed through the body.

02/23/2026

02/21/2026

Happy Saturday from the House!

02/20/2026

Go to https://tgpdenver.org/ for more info.

02/19/2026

Say hello to this week's highlighted Core Practitioner, Candice Dow
MA, NCC, LPC!

As a counselor, it is my passion to foster supportive, grounded and non-judgmental therapeutic relationships. My goal is to encourage insight and connection. I have a wide range of experience working with diverse individuals and I value inclusivity, advocacy and allyship of all gender identities, sexual orientations, cultural backgrounds and life experiences. It is my hope to stand next to you as you navigate your own unique life experiences. Whether you are seeking to gain a better understanding of your personal journey or are hoping to tackle specific obstacles, I would be honored to help you navigate your personal growth and development.

I specialize in working with clients aged 16+ who are motivated to do this hard yet rewarding work. Some topics I enjoy working on are boundaries, perfectionism, people-pleasing, trauma, identity, gender, sexuality, and interpersonal relationship dynamics. I am particularly passionate about working with LGBTQIA+ and other marginalized groups. I believe we can all thrive with the right support systems, productive self-awareness, and healthy boundaries.

As you begin this journey, the most important thing to me is that you have a good experience with the therapeutic world. In order to do that it is essential to establish a solid therapeutic foundation. By working with someone you feel you can build safety and trust with this is a great first step. Although it may be daunting, I typically recommend scheduling consultations with at least 3 therapists to see how each one feels and then decide who you felt the most connection with. This is an investment in you and your future so setting the stage for a successful relationship will put you at an advantage!

If you are interested in learning more about me and my practice. Please do not hesitate to reach out with any questions or simply schedule your free 20-minute consultation at this link: https://candicedow.clientsecure.me/

I look forward to hearing from you soon!

Candice

Email:candice@dowcounselingservices.com

02/18/2026

The Worst Has Happened, Now What? || By JT Nolan, LPC

The Stages of Change Model of Grief

There’s a scene in “The Two Towers” (the second “Lord of the Rings” movie) where King Théoden receives the news that his son is dead. After Gandalf reassures him that his death was not his fault, Théoden replies, “No parent should have to bury their child.”

I remember being profoundly moved and frightened by that scene; it stoked my own fear of losing my son. And it turned out to be a harbinger of things to come. On May 23, 2022, my son died from a fentanyl overdose.

If you are reading this because you have lost someone, welcome to the club you never wanted to be in. You’ve been put on a road you weren’t supposed to be on. But the fact that you are reading this is a very good sign. According to the Stages of Change Model (transtheoretical model), you are most likely somewhere between Contemplation and Preparation.

Contemplation
Recognition of the issue and thinking about making a change, but not yet committed to a plan.

Somewhere after the first year of losing my son, I began to look for help. A friend recommended Anderson Cooper’s interview with Steven Colbert on his podcast, “All There Is.” Colbert’s wisdom was the first time I felt something get through to me; I recognized that I wasn’t the only one to lose someone.

Colbert described his grief as a beloved tiger:

“I love this tiger and it’s beautiful but it can unexpectedly hurt me. But this is my tiger, and I don’t want to get rid of my tiger.”

At times, our grief can feel like the only thing connecting us to our loved one. We may think, “If we really loved them, how could we be OK?” For me, not being OK was how I showed my love and loyalty to my son. For some of us, looking to the future and deciding to start healing can feel like a betrayal of our connection to the one we have lost.

Identifying My Grief
After listening to the podcast, I began reading books about grief. My first book was “It’s OK Not to be OK.” Although it had good points, it didn’t fully resonate with me. I realized how differently each person’s feelings of grief can be:

Some of us will be more mad than sad.
Some will feel more shame and guilt.
For me, being “broken” was a testament to my love. My guilt around my imperfect parenting felt like justified punishment—It’s my fault and I deserve this. The problem with staying broken is it’s not a great way to live.

When experiencing such overwhelming pain, it’s difficult to tolerate anything else. Moving between contemplation and preparation involves identifying the griever’s deep need to stay safe and protected. After such intense anguish, it’s normal to avoid hurt. But after a time, this self-protection keeps us stuck. Until we face the emptiness and acknowledge our patterns of avoidance, we stay in our grief.

Grief means being in a place or situation we didn’t want. The worst has happened, and now what?

Preparation
The individual has decided to make a change and is beginning to make a plan.

“If you’re grateful for your life, then you have to be grateful for all of it.”

In this stage, we make a choice. It doesn’t have to be a perfect choice—just something different. A leap of faith. We begin to understand that true joy will always know deep sorrow. If you don’t process the grief, it can shut down the joy.

The griever has many choices. Being a therapist, the most likely choice for me would have been therapy, right? At first, I didn’t want it.

What can a therapist tell me that I don’t already know?

It is not uncommon for therapists to avoid their own work, but after meeting with my longtime supervisor (and sometimes therapist), I started to truly understand the depth of my guilt around my son’s death.

We are tribal, social animals, and the most profound healing happens within a community.

I needed to be around others who had also lost a child.

Action
The individual is actively making a change.

My wife and I joined a support group called Loving in the Trenches, where all the parents had lost a child to fentanyl. Our group had a true diversity of people and economic status. In that space, I began to open up to the idea that what happened was an accident and not my fault. Healing in community was an important first action step for me.

The truth is that grief and fentanyl don’t discriminate; bad things happen to good people.

Side Note: I did eventually find private therapy to be very helpful, and would highly recommend it. When possible, the combination of individual and group work is optimal.

Finding Meaning (The Sixth Stage)
“Finding meaning” is not a step in the Stages of Change Model, but it is considered the Sixth Stage of Grief by David Kessler, author and grief expert. Meaning is not about finding a reason for the loss, but about finding a way to keep your loved one with you, not behind you.

After leaving the support group, I decided to take Kessler’s Grief Educator Training, a 12-week course in learning how to support others in grief.

Finding meaning can come in sizes big and small. The ultimate archetype is the couple who creates a foundation and raises money, but there are many, often more personal, ways to find meaning:

Honoring through Action: Continuing your loved ones’ values or passions. (Example: volunteering at a shelter because they loved animals.)
Integrating Them into Your Present: Finding a new ritual or way to remember them daily, so they are part of your life today.
Transcending the Loss: Using the experience to gain deeper wisdom, compassion, or clarity on what matters most in life.
Creating a Legacy: Doing something in their name, whether it’s a large foundation or a simple, private act of kindness.
Connecting with Others: Supporting other grievers, which moves the pain outward into purpose.
Meaning is the one thing that can’t be taken from us. It is the final and most lasting way to love someone we have lost.

Let’s work together to find that meaning. Please contact me, or click here for more information on Grief Counseling.

Resources
Podcast: All There Is (Anderson Cooper)

Podcast: Hidden Brain: Life After Loss

Website: David Kessler

Book: Finding Meaning

Support Group: Love in the Trenches

Support Group: Compassionate Friends

About the Author: I received my Masters of Counseling degree from the University of Colorado at Denver, and have specialized training in IFS (Internal Family Systems); Grief Training with the foremost expert, David Kessler; and Enneagram. I regularly work with individuals experiencing anxiety, depression, men’s issues, relationship issues, parenting difficulties, and performance anxiety.

My work at People House has particularly defined me as a person and a therapist. I’m passionate about my work there with the Affordable Counseling Program, where I’m a supervisor to masters-level counseling students in the final phase of their training. The interns I work with offer affordable, holistic counseling to those who might otherwise be unable to experience the transformative power and support of professional counseling.

02/14/2026

LOVE TO ALL!