Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Marriage counselor, psychologist and coach dedicated to your love, happiness and success. Access advice, articles and podcasts at www.GrowingSelf.com.
(1)

"Like" to keep updates in your newsfeed! Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is the founder and clinical director of Growing Self Counseling and Coaching, based in Denver, Colorado. She's the author of "Exaholics: Breaking Your Addiction to an Ex Love," and the host of The Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. Learn more about Dr. Bobby and her practice at www.growingself.com.

If you’ve been feeling that quiet dread in the background lately — or full-on panic when the weather gets weird — read t...
04/24/2026

If you’ve been feeling that quiet dread in the background lately — or full-on panic when the weather gets weird — read this twice:

You’re having a normal response to a real situation.

But here’s the problem: when you stay alone with it, your brain turns it into overwhelm and shutdown.

And here’s the solution: 𝗮𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗰𝘆. One small step. One real conversation. One repeatable action.

🎧 Want the deeper tools (guilt, grief, anger, and how to move through it)?

Listen to the full episode of Love, Happiness, and Success — link in the comments!

04/23/2026

Most people get stuck right here:

“𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗜 𝗱𝗼?”

And then the internet hands you a list of tiny, generic “consumer tips”… and you end up feeling worse. Like, cool… I recycled. Now what? 🙃

Because if the only place you’re allowed to act is as a 𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲𝗵𝗼𝗹𝗱 or a 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗲𝗿, you’re going to feel like a microscopic drop in the bucket. And that feeling? It feeds the anxiety. It feeds the shutdown. It feeds the avoidance.

Here’s the reframe that actually helps:
𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗯𝗶𝗴𝗴𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗮𝗰𝘁 𝘂𝘀𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗶𝘀𝗻’𝘁 𝗮𝘁 𝗵𝗼𝗺𝗲. 𝗜𝘁’𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘃𝗼𝗶𝗰𝗲, 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝘂𝗻𝗶𝘁𝘆.
Professional life. Civic life. Relationships. The rooms you’re already in.

🎧 Listen to the full episode and pick the kind of action that makes you feel powerful again. Link in the comments!

04/22/2026

Unspoken needs don’t go away…
they build.

And then one day, you’re not just annoyed—you’re resentful.

I see this pattern all the time. Someone is hoping their partner will “just know.” They drop hints. They wait. They try not to be “too much.” And when nothing changes? They start to feel hurt… then frustrated… then angry.

But here’s the truth: your partner can’t meet needs they don’t fully understand.

And when you don’t say what’s really going on, that pain doesn’t disappear—it turns into distance. Into tension. Into a version of you that feels reactive, withdrawn, or checked out.

You don’t need to be perfect at communication. But you do need to be honest enough to be known.

That’s how connection stays alive.

Want the full breakdown of the patterns that quietly erode relationships (and how to shift them)?

𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗧𝗪𝗘𝗟𝗩𝗘 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗜’𝗹𝗹 𝘀𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝘂𝗹𝗹 𝗲𝗽𝗶𝘀𝗼𝗱𝗲.

I’m going to say something that might sting a little…Most relationships don’t fall apart because of one big betrayal. Th...
04/21/2026

I’m going to say something that might sting a little…

Most relationships don’t fall apart because of one big betrayal. They fall apart because of small, everyday patterns that quietly erode trust over time.

I see this constantly in my work. People who love each other… but are stuck in cycles of defensiveness, avoidance, criticism, and disconnection. And the hard truth? Many of these patterns are so normal, you don’t even realize they’re hurting your relationship.

But here’s the good news: the same way relationships are damaged is the same way they’re repaired—through small, consistent shifts in how you show up.

If you want to know all 12 ways people unintentionally destroy their relationships (and what to do instead)…

Watch the full episode here: https://vist.ly/4zake

Every time you get defensive, you’re not just protecting yourself…you’re teaching your partner that it’s not safe to be ...
04/20/2026

Every time you get defensive, you’re not just protecting yourself…

you’re teaching your partner that it’s not safe to be real with you.

I know that’s hard to hear. But I see this all the time. Someone finally works up the courage to say, “Hey, this hurt me,” or “Something doesn’t feel good here”… and instead of curiosity, they’re met with denial, blame, or shutdown.

And in that moment, something important happens: they start to close. Not because they don’t care—but because it no longer feels safe to be honest.

Listen, you don’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to agree with everything your partner says. But if you want a strong relationship, you do have to stay open enough to hear them without making it a fight.

That’s how emotional safety is built. Not in big moments—but in how you respond right here.

If you want to learn all the subtle ways people unintentionally destroy their relationships (and what to do instead)…

Check the full podcast episode in the comments ❤️

04/18/2026

If you’ve ever thought, “I know this is irrational… so why can’t I stop?” — this is why:

“𝗢𝘂𝗿 𝗯𝗿𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝗱𝗼𝗲𝘀𝗻’𝘁 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝗳 𝗶𝘁 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲𝘀 𝘀𝗲𝗻𝘀𝗲.”

Your attachment system isn’t running on logic.
It’s running on 𝘀𝗮𝗳𝗲𝘁𝘆.

So when someone pulls back…
When they don’t text…
When things feel uncertain…

Your nervous system doesn’t go, “Hmm, interesting.”
It goes, “𝗗𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗿. 𝗙𝗶𝘅 𝗶𝘁. 𝗡𝗼𝘄.”

And that’s why you can be smart, self-aware, and successful…
…and still find yourself spiraling in love.

Here’s the shift:
Stop trying to think your way into feeling safe.
Start building safety on purpose — with consistency, responsiveness, and real repair.

I’m curious: what’s your brain’s go-to move when you feel distance — 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝘀𝗲 or 𝘀𝗵𝘂𝘁 𝗱𝗼𝘄𝗻?

Comment 𝗦𝗘𝗖𝗨𝗥𝗘 if you want the link to the full episode.

If you’ve ever stared at your phone like it’s a life support machine… listen.That panic you feel when someone doesn’t te...
04/17/2026

If you’ve ever stared at your phone like it’s a life support machine… listen.
That panic you feel when someone doesn’t text back?
It’s not you being “needy.” It’s not you being “crazy.”

It’s your nervous system reading distance as danger.

In this week’s episode, I’m talking with Dr. Amir Levine about what actually creates a secure bond—and it’s not “figuring out your attachment style.” Insight is nice. But it won’t change your patterns.

What changes your patterns is building relationships that are 𝗖𝗔𝗥𝗥𝗣:
𝗖𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁. 𝗔𝘃𝗮𝗶𝗹𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲. 𝗥𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗶𝘃𝗲.
And you experience them as 𝗥𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗣𝗿𝗲𝗱𝗶𝗰𝘁𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲.

Here’s your assignment:
𝗪𝗵𝗼 𝗶𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹𝘀 𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗱𝘆 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘀𝗮𝗳𝗲… 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝗸𝗲𝗲𝗽𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱?

Link in the comments for the full podcast episode! ❤️.

04/16/2026

If you’ve ever thought, “This is just who I am. I’m anxious. I’m avoidant. I’m stuck like this forever.”

I need you to hear this:

𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗱𝗵𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘀𝘁𝘆𝗹𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗮 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲 𝘀𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲.

Because here’s the truth: if your attachment pattern never changed… that wouldn’t even make sense. Your brain is built to adapt. And a lot of research shows it does adapt — over and over again — based on the relationships and experiences you have as an adult.

So if you’re feeling discouraged? If you’re blaming yourself?
Stop.
This isn’t about being “broken.” It’s about learning a new way to feel safe, connected, and secure — on purpose.

𝗤𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂: 𝗗𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗯𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗲𝘃𝗲 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗽𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗻𝘀?

𝗙𝘂𝗹𝗹 𝗲𝗽𝗶𝘀𝗼𝗱𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀 ⬇️

If you’ve ever thought:“Why am I like this? I don’t want to parent like this.”Same. And here’s the truth:Your kid’s melt...
04/14/2026

If you’ve ever thought:
“Why am I like this? I don’t want to parent like this.”
Same. And here’s the truth:

Your kid’s meltdown isn’t the real problem.
Your nervous system is.

Because when you’re exhausted, overstimulated, and your child screams “I HATE YOU,” your body flips into survival mode… and you either explode or shut down.

So try this TODAY:

1. Put your hand on your chest and say: “I can handle this.”
2. Name it: “You’re really mad.”
3. Hold the boundary: “And it’s still bedtime.”

That’s not “soft.” That’s strong. That’s emotional reliability.

QUESTION: What’s your #1 parenting trigger right now?
A) Bedtime
B) Screens
C) Backtalk
D) Sibling fights

Comment with your letter 👇

And if you want the full conversation (anger as a “lighthouse,” anxiety tools, and how to repair after you mess up), listen to the full episode in the comments.

04/13/2026

You want your kids to remember you as a safe place.
Not a perfect parent. A present one.

Because here’s the truth: parenting is messy. You will mess up. There will be moments you’re not proud of. But what makes the difference long-term isn’t whether you get it right every time…

It’s whether you’re emotionally reliable.
Meaning: you come back. You stay connected. You help your kids process what they feel with you, instead of them carrying it into adulthood like, “Welp… my family was a dumpster fire.”

And the real work starts here:
Your childhood trained you how to respond to closeness, tender needs, stress, and overwhelm. If nobody modeled emotional maturity for you, you’re not broken—you’re learning.

Because you can’t help your kids work through feelings you can’t tolerate in your own nervous system.

𝗔𝗻𝗱 𝗶𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝗼𝗼𝗹𝘀 + 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗶𝗽𝘁𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗮𝗰𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗱𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲 (𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗼𝗿𝘆), 𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝘂𝗹𝗹 𝗲𝗽𝗶𝘀𝗼𝗱𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀 ⬇️

If you’re stuck in the same fight on repeat, I need you to hear this: your relationship is not doomed. You’re just caugh...
04/10/2026

If you’re stuck in the same fight on repeat, I need you to hear this: your relationship is not doomed. You’re just caught in a pattern.

Because most fights are not about the thing. They’re about what the thing means.
The tone. The timing. The assumption.
And once your brain decides, “They’re criticizing me,” you’re off to the races: defensiveness, shutdown, escalation, and now you’re arguing about hand soap like it’s a federal case.

So here’s your move the next time you feel it starting:
Don’t explain. Don’t defend. Don’t chase.
𝗗𝗲-𝗲𝘀𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗲. 𝗥𝗲𝗴𝘂𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗲. 𝗥𝗲𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿.
Use the scripts above — they work because they interrupt the pattern fast.

Now I want to hear from you:

👉 What’s the “stupid fight” you keep having on repeat? (Dishes? Tone? Texting? Parenting?)

Drop it in the comments — I’m reading. And you’re going to realize you’re not alone.

𝗪𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝘂𝗹𝗹 𝘁𝗼𝗼𝗹𝗯𝗼𝘅 (𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹-𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀)? 𝗟𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝘂𝗹𝗹 𝗲𝗽𝗶𝘀𝗼𝗱𝗲 𝗮𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗸 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀 ⬇️

Address

4100 E. Mississippi Avenue , 4th Floor #413
Denver, CO
80246

Opening Hours

Monday 9am - 8pm
Tuesday 9am - 8pm
Wednesday 9am - 8pm
Thursday 9am - 8pm
Friday 9am - 6pm
Saturday 9am - 5pm
Sunday 9am - 5pm

Website

https://www.growingself.com/denver-relationship-expert-life-coach-blog-podcast/

Alerts

Be the first to know and let us send you an email when Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby posts news and promotions. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Contact The Practice

Send a message to Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby:

Shortcuts

Share

Category