Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Marriage counselor, psychologist and coach dedicated to your love, happiness and success. Access advice, articles and podcasts at www.GrowingSelf.com.
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"Like" to keep updates in your newsfeed! Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is the founder and clinical director of Growing Self Counseling and Coaching, based in Denver, Colorado. She's the author of "Exaholics: Breaking Your Addiction to an Ex Love," and the host of The Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. Learn more about Dr. Bobby and her practice at www.growingself.com.

Not your advice.Not your solutions.Not your perfectly-worded text.Your presence.Because when someone is hurting, what th...
03/25/2026

Not your advice.
Not your solutions.
Not your perfectly-worded text.

Your presence.

Because when someone is hurting, what they’re really asking is: “Will you stay with me?”
And in a world where everyone’s half-listening and half-scrolling… being fully there is rare. And it’s powerful.

Try this today:
📵 Put your phone face down.
👀 Look them in the eyes.
🫶 Say: “I’m here. Tell me.”

That’s how you build the kind of friendship that actually holds you.

👇 Question: What helps you feel most cared for — someone listening or someone helping you fix it?
Tell me in the comments.

And if you want more on building real connection, listen to the full episode — link in the comments.

Let me tell you something that might hit you right in the chest:You can have tons of contacts… and still feel lonely.Bec...
03/24/2026

Let me tell you something that might hit you right in the chest:

You can have tons of contacts… and still feel lonely.

Because loneliness isn’t about not having people.
It’s about not feeling 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄𝗻.

In this week’s episode of Love, Happiness, and Success, I’m talking with Barnet Bain about why adult friendships fade… and how to build the kind that actually holds you.

Here’s what I want you to do after reading this:

Pick ONE person you miss.

Send the “no pressure” text from Slide 3.

And practice the magic phrase from Slide 4:
“𝗗𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝗮𝗱𝘃𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝗼𝗿 𝗱𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝗺𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻?”

That’s how you start changing your life. Not someday. Today.

👇 QUESTION FOR YOU:
𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁’𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗱𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗻𝗼𝘄?
A) Making new friends
B) Keeping friendships alive
C) Feeling like you’re always the one reaching out
D) Going deeper (real closeness)

Drop A/B/C/D in the comments (or tell me your real answer).
And listen to the full episode at the link in the comments.

03/23/2026

Let’s talk about what a real friend does.

A real friend doesn’t just “hang out.” They call you upward. They make it easier to be brave. Kinder. More generous. And listen — in a cynical world where sarcasm is basically a personality trait and tearing people down gets laughs, that kind of friendship doesn’t happen by accident. It’s a skill. And it takes intention.

But here’s the part most people miss: safety is the price of admission. If someone doesn’t feel emotionally safe with you, the friendship will never get deep. And “safe” doesn’t mean you wrap them in bubble wrap. It means one simple rule: you never weaponize their vulnerability. Not later in an argument. Not as a joke. Not with a third person. Ever.

Try this today:
When a friend shares something tender, say:
“Thank you for trusting me. I’m here.”
Then shut up and listen.

👇 Question for you: What makes you feel most safe with someone — their loyalty or their non-judgment?

Drop your answer in the comments.

And if you want the full conversation on building friendships that actually hold you, listen to the episode here: https://vist.ly/4vvhb

That line is a 𝗴𝘂𝘁-𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗰𝗸. Because if you’re honest, most of us were taught how to plan a wedding… not how to handle mone...
03/21/2026

That line is a 𝗴𝘂𝘁-𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗰𝗸. Because if you’re honest, most of us were taught how to plan a wedding… not how to handle money fights, emotional shutdowns, stress, intimacy changes, or the little daily stuff that quietly turns into resentment. Love is real. Love matters. But love isn’t a strategy. 𝗦𝗸𝗶𝗹𝗹𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲.

So I want to know — and I want you to say it in the comments: 𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 “𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝘀𝗸𝗶𝗹𝗹” 𝗱𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗶𝘀𝗵 𝘆𝗼𝘂’𝗱 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗲𝗱 𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗹𝗶𝗲𝗿?
Communication? Fighting fair? Repairing after conflict? Setting boundaries with family? Talking about money? 👇

🎧 If you want the roadmap for building those skills before things get hard, listen to the full episode — link in the comments.

Premarital counseling isn’t a red flag.It’s a 𝗽𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿 𝗺𝗼𝘃𝗲.Because here’s the trap so many couples fall into: you’re happy...
03/20/2026

Premarital counseling isn’t a red flag.
It’s a 𝗽𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿 𝗺𝗼𝘃𝗲.

Because here’s the trap so many couples fall into: you’re happy, you’re in love, everything feels easy… and you assume that means you’re “set.” But love doesn’t magically teach you how to handle 𝗺𝗼𝗻𝗲𝘆, 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗳𝗹𝗶𝗰𝘁, 𝘀𝗲𝘅, 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀, and the daily stuff that can quietly turn into resentment. The BEST time to build the skills is when you
still like each other. When you’re still on the same team.

So I want to ask you something — and I want you to answer it honestly in the comments:
𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁’𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗢𝗡𝗘 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂’𝘃𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝗮𝘃𝗼𝗶𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗻𝗲𝗿?
Money? Kids? S*x? In-laws? Division of labor? How you fight?
Drop it below. No judgment. Just truth. 👇

🎧 And if you want the roadmap for how to have those conversations without blowing things up, listen to the full episode — link in the comments.

03/19/2026

Relationships are like cars — and I need you to hear this: 𝗶𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗰𝗸 𝗲𝗻𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝗹𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝗼𝗻, 𝗽𝘂𝘁𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗮𝗽𝗲 𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗶𝘁 𝗱𝗼𝗲𝘀𝗻’𝘁 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗶𝘁 𝗴𝗼 𝗮𝘄𝗮𝘆. 😅

Most couples don’t break because they don’t love each other. They break because they wait years to talk about the thing that’s been bothering them… until it’s not a quick fix anymore. And then one person is ready to repair it… and the other person is already shopping for a whole new relationship.

So here’s your question (answer in the comments 👇):
𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁’𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 “𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗰𝗸 𝗲𝗻𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝗹𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁” 𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗻𝗼𝘄?
Money? Intimacy? Communication? Division of labor? Family boundaries? The way you fight—or don’t?

🎧 Want the tools to handle it before it turns into a whole new engine? Listen to the full episode — link in the comments.

True love involves loving and respecting both yourself and your partner—setting healthy boundaries, appreciating strengt...
03/18/2026

True love involves loving and respecting both yourself and your partner—setting healthy boundaries, appreciating strengths, and navigating flaws with compassion. There is an important balance between acceptance and self-care: enduring hardship is not the price of unconditional love.

Reflect on your relationship—are you honoring both your needs and your partner’s? If you’re facing challenges, remember: focusing on what’s good while respectfully addressing what’s hard can lead to greater fulfillment.

How do you practice loving yourself and your partner, even through imperfections? Share your wisdom below or tag a friend who needs this reminder!

Head to the link in the comments to listen to the full episode.

Feeling unsure about your relationship is deeply stressful, and you’re not alone in wrestling with that confusion. I wan...
03/17/2026

Feeling unsure about your relationship is deeply stressful, and you’re not alone in wrestling with that confusion. I want you to know: recognizing red flags is not only brave—it’s essential for your healing and growth. One of the most powerful steps you can take is inviting honest conversations, but remember: your safety always matters most.

If you’re questioning your partner’s willingness to change, or struggling to find clarity, reach out for support and consider getting professional guidance. Have you ever felt stuck between hope and uncertainty? Share your reflections or questions below—I’d love to hear from you.

Take care of yourself, and tune in to this week’s episode at the link in the comments for a deeper dive into these crucial relationship decisions.

And THIS is why so many good, capable people get stuck in relationship limbo.Because when you’re living in the tension d...
03/16/2026

And THIS is why so many good, capable people get stuck in relationship limbo.

Because when you’re living in the tension day after day, it all starts to blur. The hard conversations. The distance. The resentment. The “we’re fine… right?” moments followed by the “I can’t do this anymore” moments. And your brain does what brains do under stress: it tries to force a 𝗯𝗶𝗻𝗮𝗿𝘆 answer.

Stay or go.
Fix it or end it.
Hope or hopeless.

But real clarity usually doesn’t come from one dramatic moment. It comes from looking at the 𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙠𝙚𝙧𝙨.

In this week’s episode, I’m walking you through how to tell the difference between:
✅ 𝗣𝗮𝗶𝗻𝗳𝘂𝗹-𝗯𝘂𝘁-𝗳𝗶𝘅𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 (growth friction, skill gaps, disconnection that can be repaired)
and
🚩 𝗡𝗼𝘁-𝗼𝗸𝗮𝘆 (patterns that point to emotional unsafety, refusal, contempt, coercion, or harm)

We’ll talk about what to watch for if you’re trying to repair—things like willingness, accountability, empathy, and follow-through—because those are the signs that change is actually possible. And we’ll also talk about what it means when those things aren’t there… and what to do next if you’re facing practical realities like kids, finances, or fear.

If you’ve been spinning in your head, borrowing trouble from the future, and second-guessing your own gut… this is your episode.

🎧 𝗟𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝘂𝗹𝗹 𝗲𝗽𝗶𝘀𝗼𝗱𝗲: 𝙒𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙩𝙤 𝘾𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙄𝙩 𝙌𝙪𝙞𝙩𝙨 𝙞𝙣 𝙖 𝙍𝙚𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙥 at the link in the comments.

Because if you’re the one who always smooths it over…explains, over-explains…backpedals…fixes it…rescues them from disco...
03/14/2026

Because if you’re the one who always smooths it over…
explains, over-explains…
backpedals…
fixes it…
rescues them from discomfort…

That’s not kindness. That’s control dressed up as “being nice.”

And it’s exhausting.

Here’s the truth:
When you set a boundary, someone might get mad.
They might guilt-trip you.
They might act hurt.
They might punish you with silence.

And your nervous system will scream: “𝗠𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗶𝘁 𝗯𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿!”

But boundaries aren’t about getting them to feel okay.
Boundaries are about deciding what you will do—so you can stay grounded, clear, and loving.

Love says:
“I’m not jumping into the choppy water with you.”
“I’m throwing you a lifeline.”
“I believe you can handle your feelings.”

That’s respect.
That’s empowerment.
That’s real love.

👇 𝗤𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂: Where do you struggle most with letting someone have their feelings?
𝗔 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁? 𝗣𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗻𝗲𝗿? 𝗕𝗼𝘀𝘀? 𝗙𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱? Tell me in the comments.

And if you want the full framework—plus exactly what to say when the guilt hits—listen to the full episode at the 𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗸 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀.

Okay. I’m going to say something that might hit a nerve… and if it does? Good. Because it means this is 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙠.𝗡𝗼𝘁 𝘀𝗲...
03/13/2026

Okay. I’m going to say something that might hit a nerve… and if it does? Good. Because it means this is 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙠.

𝗡𝗼𝘁 𝘀𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗯𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳𝗶𝘀𝗵.
Not because you’re a bad person.
Because when you don’t have boundaries, you don’t stay kind.

You stay “nice”… until you’re exhausted.
Then you get resentful.
Then you snap.
Then you pull away.
And suddenly the relationship is strained — not because you set a boundary… but because you didn’t.

Here’s the shift:
A boundary isn’t “Stop doing this.”
A boundary is “Here’s what I’m doing.”

“My phone goes off at 10.”
“If you guilt-trip me, I’m ending the call.”
“I’m not available this weekend.”

No debate. No over-explaining. No emotional labor.

And yes—people might have feelings about it.
Let them.
That’s not your job to manage.

𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗷𝗼𝗯 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝘁𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗴𝘆 𝘀𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘂𝗽 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲.

👇 Now I want to hear from you:
𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗱𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝗮 𝗯𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗮𝗿𝘆 𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗻𝗼𝘄?
Drop ONE word in the comments: work, family, partner, friends, phone, money, time, ex…

And if you want the full framework (plus scripts you can literally copy/paste into real life), listen to the full episode — 𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗸 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀.

03/12/2026

Most people misunderstand boundaries.

They think a boundary means:

“Stop doing that.”
“Don’t treat me like this.”
“You need to change.”

But that’s not a boundary.

That’s a 𝗿𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁.

A boundary is about 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗱𝗼.

Because here’s the truth:
You cannot control someone else’s behavior.

Not your partner.
Not your friend.
Not your coworker.
Not your family.

The only person you can control is you.

And that’s not a limitation.
That’s actually where your 𝗽𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿 is.

When you stop trying to manage other people and start deciding what you will and won’t participate in, everything changes.

Less frustration.
More clarity.
Stronger relationships.

𝗤𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂: What’s one situation in your life where you’re trying to control
someone else instead of setting a boundary?

Tell me in the comments. 👇

And listen to the full episode at the link in the comments. 🎧

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Denver, CO
80246

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Website

https://www.growingself.com/denver-relationship-expert-life-coach-blog-podcast/

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