11/03/2025
If a man carries a father wound, it often shows up in the smallest moments. He can’t have a hard conversation without getting defensive.
His partner ends up mothering him — not because she wants to, but because she’s dealing with the boy in him still fighting for his father’s approval.
Underneath that armor is unhealed rage at the criticism and control he grew up with. He wasn’t allowed to question it. And the less affection he received, the more obsessed he becomes with being respected now.
He thinks respect is earned through hard work and success. But that belief turns him into a machine — loyal to duty, analyzing everything, even her feelings.
So when she asks for emotional connection, it doesn’t feel like love. It feels like a threat — like she’s asking too much.
The path forward isn’t proving himself. It’s learning to father the younger part of himself. To shift from proving to improving.
When he does, the defensiveness fades. Peace takes root. And he finally knows he is enough — capable of meeting her need for emotional partnership without losing himself.
