05/10/2021
It’s mental health awareness week/month. In honor of that, I want to share my mental health journey.
When I was 8, I cried every. single. day. My mom brought me to a psychiatrist, but at the time, the word anxiety wasn’t what it is today. Nobody really knew how to support me. Years of tip-toeing and trying to avoid a “meltdown” (anxiety attack) followed. There simply wasn’t enough education and destigmatization out there for how to support a child with a mental illness, one that we didn’t even really have a name for other than “difficult” or “sensitive.”
I still work every day to remind myself that just because I have anxiety does not mean I am difficult.
Flash forward to my 21st year of life. This year was the first time my anxiety manifested outside of my house, affecting my relationships with those outside of my family. I felt like the world was collapsing around me. Daily panic attacks ensued. It felt like I was on a hampster wheel that never stopped spinning. It still feels like that sometimes.
I finally admitted that I wasn’t okay and couldn’t fight this on my own. In the 3 years that followed, I have tried every combination of things to help my anxiety. After a rollercoaster of ups and downs, tons of appetite fluctuations, one hospital trip, dozens of Dr’s appointments, 2 different medications, a variety of doses, and hundreds of yoga classes, I have finally found what works for me: Prozac, a split dose that I take both in the morning and at night, managed by an amazing psychiatric nurse practitioner, therapy, yoga, exercise, healthy eating, sleeping with a weighted blanket, breathing, calming scents, clean rooms, and most importantly, patience and understanding from those that love me as well as myself.
I am 1 in 5. Anxiety comes and goes with the wind. Some days I feel total peace and other days it knocks me off my feet. But I am learning every single day how to better support myself and those around me that suffer from it as well. For my fellow anxiety warriors, you are not alone.
A link for more information on how to support someone with a mental illness is in my bio 💛
“Be gentle with yourself, you are doing the best you can.”
