03/13/2026
One of the biggest misconceptions about perfectionism is that it’s all your fault.
But you were not born struggling with perfectionism. Hear me out.
I get it.
You are the one stuck in the loop in your head. You’re the one who doesn’t feel like you’re enough, like you’re doing enough. You feel shame.
You struggle with controlling others. You have unrealistic expectations. You find it hard to give yourself compassion.
You get stuck in these loops of trying to be perfect, trying to avoid pain and rejection. You are the one who experiences the impact.
So it feels like it’s your fault. But it’s not.
So where does it come from?
It goes back to what you saw growing up. Yes, we’re going back to your parents, your family members. The comparison. The criticalness you experienced. The shame. Even the neglect, the gaps in care, the missing emotional attunement.
All of that made you believe you have to be perfect to be loved. You have to perform to be loved and to be seen.You respond out of what you experienced. You were not born this way.
I hope this gives you a little freedom today. And if you want more support breaking free from the trap of perfectionism so you can develop profound confidence, relief, self trust, and alignment with your authentic self, I invite you to follow me.