Dr. Sophia

12/26/2025

During the holidays, so many people look functional on the outside while carrying loneliness, grief, and emotional exhaustion on the inside.

You’d be surprised at how many people keep going because they’ve always kept going — and others assume they’re fine.

Sometimes the strongest ones are the ones who most need a simple:
“Hey, I’m thinking of you.”

A small gesture can break the isolation someone feels but doesn’t talk about.

Consider reaching out to:
• A friend who’s been quieter lately
• Someone going through a loss or transition
• A person you know will be alone this season
• Someone who keeps showing up for others but rarely gets checked on
• A person you feel a gentle nudge to contact, for no particular reason

It doesn’t need to be grand.
A text. A note. A quick call.
An invitation to have coffee or dinner.

You never know how much it might mean.
And you may be giving someone exactly what you once needed.

12/24/2025

Holidays can feel big — big emotions, big expectations, big energy. And while today may be joyful for some, it may feel complicated, tender, or overwhelming for others.

So instead of striving for a perfect day, I invite you to look for just one small moment that feels grounding.

✨ One moment where your shoulders drop.
✨ One moment where your breath softens.
✨ One moment where you notice something beautiful, comforting, or true.
✨ One moment that belongs only to you.

It doesn’t have to be dramatic.
It doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s version of Christmas.
It just has to feel real to your body, your heart, and your nervous system.

If today is warm and joyful — I hope you savor it.
If today feels heavy — I hope you find even a tiny pocket of relief.
If today feels mixed — welcome to being human, and you’re not alone.

Wishing you gentleness, presence, and a day that gives you at least one moment that is yours.

With care,
Dr. Sophia 🎄💛

12/22/2025

Many people assume relationships just “happen” — that community magically forms around us. But the truth is, meaningful connection usually requires intentional effort.

For those of us who come from chaotic, dysfunctional, or estranged families, we often have to build our support systems from scratch. And that can feel daunting.

But it’s also empowering.

You get to choose:
• Who feels safe
• Who brings out your best
• Who respects your boundaries
• Who grows with you

And you also get to choose who doesn’t get access to your emotional world.

If you’re unsure where to begin, try:
✨ Attending a recovery meeting or support group
✨ Volunteering for something meaningful
✨ Joining a class or workshop related to your interests
✨ Exploring spiritual or healing communities
✨ Saying “yes” to small social invitations
✨ Creating little rituals of connection with people you trust

Healthy people rarely appear out of thin air — but you can absolutely find them.

And when you do, the sense of belonging is deeply healing.

12/19/2025

A Simple, Compassionate Way to Move Through Holiday Grief

When grief surfaces — especially around the holidays — it can feel overwhelming, unpredictable, and all-consuming. You may worry that if you let yourself feel it, you’ll drown in it.

But grief moves when we give it movement.
It softens when we give it space.

Here’s a gentle, grounded three-step rhythm you can follow:

1. Feel the Grief

Not all at once. Not forever. But enough.
Let yourself cry. Let yourself name who you miss. Let yourself tell the truth — even if it’s only to yourself.
This is not wallowing; it’s witnessing.

2. Ground Yourself

After emotion comes grounding — the return home to your body.
Try:
• Meditation
• Restorative yoga
• Breathing exercises
• A walk in nature
• Journaling
• Prayer
• Listening to comforting music
• Attending a support meeting

Grounding helps remind your nervous system: “I am safe. I can feel this and stay intact.”

3. Connect With Healthy People

Not with people who drain you, criticize you, or re-open old wounds.
Connect with people who:
• Value your presence
• Listen without fixing
• Accept you as you are
• Feel emotionally safe

This is your chosen family, your inner circle, your healthy tribe.

This rhythm doesn’t eliminate grief, but it helps you move through it with compassion rather than overwhelm.

12/18/2025

If the holidays bring up sadness, loneliness, or a deep sense of “something missing,” you’re not alone—and you’re not broken.

In this week’s podcast episode, I talk about why grief intensifies during the holiday season and why grief is not the problem—it’s actually the pathway to healing. We explore ambiguous grief, early attachment grief, and why so many people mistake grief for depression or anxiety.

I also share practical tools for feeling grief in a way that helps your nervous system settle instead of spiral.

If the holidays feel heavy this year, this episode is for you.

🎧 Listen to Grief & The Holidays 2025
https://open.spotify.com/episode/5XEVyy6gA8hdvwfrcVzeX0

12/17/2025

Good morning, everyone. It’s Dr. Sophia. Lately, I’ve been thinking about this concept of Dry January — and honestly, I’m curious how it fits into our lives not only in January, but right here in the holiday season.

I’ve never been a big drinker. I have a low tolerance, I don’t enjoy the headaches or hangovers, and now that I’m 55 and postmenopausal, alcohol hits me in a totally different way. Even one drink can affect my sleep, my mood, and how my body feels the next day.

And I’m noticing more women my age saying the same thing:
“It just doesn’t feel good anymore.”
“I can’t process it.”
“My body is done.”

I’m also really impressed by younger generations who are choosing not to drink at all — something that didn’t even cross our minds when I was younger. Alcohol is so socially accepted that we forget it’s a substance that affects every part of us.

Whether you’re thinking about Dry January, cutting back during the holidays, or giving up alcohol altogether — curiosity is a good thing.

In addiction research, we know that 90 days is the minimum time needed to see how your body and brain truly feel without a substance. Many of my clients try a 90-day break from alcohol and say,
“I feel so much better. I don’t want to go back.”

The question isn’t whether alcohol is “good” or “bad.”
It’s: What helps me feel mentally, emotionally, and physically better?

You deserve to explore that.
Your body deserves to be listened to.
Your choices deserve to be celebrated.

Whatever you decide — I’m cheering you on. 🧡

12/15/2025

Grief is often associated with death — a clear, definable loss. But some of the deepest emotional pain we carry comes from relationships that ended without closure, changed beyond recognition, or slipped away over time.

This is ambiguous grief — and it tends to intensify during the holidays, when traditions and togetherness highlight what’s missing.

You may feel it when:
• A once-close sibling is now estranged
• A former partner is still alive but no longer in your world
• A friendship dissolved without explanation
• A parent is present but emotionally unavailable
• A family system broke after conflict, divorce, or betrayal

It can feel confusing because there’s no obvious marker of loss. No memorial. No final moment. Just space — and the ache inside it.

Ambiguous grief deserves the same tenderness, acknowledgement, and truth-telling as any other grief. And during the holidays, simply naming it out loud can be healing.

Your pain is real. It deserves a place at the table.

12/12/2025

The holidays have a way of pulling us into a fast-moving current. Suddenly our calendars fill up, our to-do lists triple, and there’s this unspoken pressure to “make it magical” for everyone around us. Before we even know it, we’re running on autopilot — decorating, preparing, coordinating, performing.

But here’s the truth no one says out loud:
Most of the pressure we feel around the holidays is manufactured, not meaningful.

This season, consider slowing down enough to ask yourself:
✨ What pace feels right for me?
✨ What traditions genuinely bring me joy?
✨ What am I doing out of obligation rather than desire?

The moment you tune back into your inner voice, everything shifts. Choosing fewer decorations doesn’t make the holiday less meaningful. Choosing to rest instead of overextend doesn’t make you less generous. Choosing simplicity doesn’t make your experience smaller — it often makes it truer.

Give yourself permission to create a holiday that fits this season of your life. Not last year’s. Not your family’s expectations. Yours.

12/10/2025

Sometimes the hardest choices—getting sober, grieving fully, ending a relationship, facing old wounds—are the ones that bring us back to ourselves.
The hard path is rarely the wrong path.
If it leads to your joy, your peace, your truth… walk it.

12/08/2025

Hey everyone, it’s Dr. Sophia. I hope you’re easing gently into the days after Thanksgiving. I wanted to share a soft reminder as we move into the heart of the holiday season:

We tend to speed up this time of year — rushing, perfecting, decorating, doing. But what if you didn’t? What if you slowed down enough to listen to the quiet voice inside, the one that knows what feels right for you?

Yesterday my mom asked why I wasn’t putting out all my decorations. And honestly? I just wanted to put out what feels good to me this year. I don’t want my entire holiday to be about “more, more, more.” I want peace, stillness, connection — not pressure. Maybe that resonates for you, maybe it doesn’t. As always: take what you like and leave the rest.

And for many of us, this season also brings up grief. Not just grief from death, but grief for relationships that have changed, ended, or drifted. That’s called ambiguous grief — and it can hit hard this time of year.

So please remember:

Feel the grief. Let it move through you. Cry if you need to. Tell the truth of what’s missing.

Ground yourself. Through meditation, yoga, prayer, meetings, time in nature — whatever settles your soul.

Connect with healthy people. Your chosen family. The people who value you. The ones who show up.

The holidays are not automatically “merry and bright.” And that’s okay. There are many ways to move through this season with honesty, connection, and self-compassion.

Sending you softness and care today. ❤️

12/05/2025

A “hall pass” looks like denial… avoidance… excuses that feel safe but keep us stuck.
The moment you stop giving yourself the easy way out, your life begins to expand.
Not by powering through—but by consciously choosing the path that leads to freedom.

12/03/2025