Leah Furst Counseling

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Elmsford, NY
Leah Furst Counseling

Licensed Clinical Social Worker providing tele-mental health services to New York and Connecticut. If

03/29/2022

Your time and energy are some of the most valuable commodities you poses.

Once you start to recognize the value of your time and energy you will stop entertaining people or things that waste it, disrespect it, and take it for granted. No one has a right to your time or energy.

You have a limited amount of these resources, so when it comes to allocating them, choose wisely, and don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for protecting them.

02/07/2022

Let’s talk about Boundaries:
Boundaries require acceptance of the other person for who they are, not who you want them to be, who they have potential to become or who they are some of the time. Boundaries require acceptance of the whole of who the other person is in this moment.

Boundaries require believing the other person when they tell you who they are through their actions. If they say you matter to them, but then are consistently unwilling to show up in response to your needs, they are telling you who they are and what you can expect from them in the future.

Boundaries require accepting that other’s behaviors are outside of your control. These are neither within your power or responsibility to change. Therefore, boundaries require ONLY taking responsibility for your own actions and communications.

Boundaries require action. Setting a boundary and then failing to follow through with any type of action simply communicates to the other person that “I don’t believe my boundaries matter and you don’t need to either.”

Boundaries require courage. Setting boundaries, and following through on those boundaries is HARD. Let me say that again for the people in the back. This is scary, this is hard, this is uncomfortable, this takes courage!

Finally, but perhaps most importantly, boundaries require you to start with valuing and validating your own needs. Sometimes we try to jump to the application steps of implementing boundaries when the internal work still needs to be done. Boundaries have to start with you believing your needs matter, your hurt matters, your wellbeing and happiness matter. And let me tell you, it does! It also requires you to take full and complete responsibility for your own health and well-being (including but not limited to protecting that wellbeing).

One disclaimer I will add: if you are in a situation in which setting and enforcing boundaries could compromise your safety, please reach out to a professional DV counselor, local victim advocate center or the Domestic Violence Hotline for support to create a safety plan.

National DV Hotline - 800-799-7233

01/04/2022

Let’s talk about the why- pt 2. Blaming vs understanding

I have often heard people voice the concern that therapy is just about blaming your parents for all your issues. So I wanted to take a moment to follow up my previous post about finding the why and speak to this therapy myth.

It is likely that if you are in therapy, at least with me, that we will talk about childhood and upbringing. We will explore aspects of your early years that have shaped the person you are today. Some of these things may be really positive things, some of these may be …well, less than positive. What matters here is the reason we are digging into this buried treasure chest of memories.

This processes is not about blaming, but rather developing a greater understanding of where and why certain tendencies were born. With understanding comes power; the power to identify unhealthy dynamics that may have been accepted as “just how it is.” Power to deconstruct learned attitudes or reactions that may have served you at the time but no longer do. Perhaps most importantly, understanding brings power to take control of your life as it is now, and create change within yourself.

Understanding the “why” is about empowering you to take responsibility and ownership of your life in the present, in order to create a healthier future.

12/30/2021

Let’s talk about the “why”

Even before becoming a therapist, I have always been fascinated with understanding the why; the reason people behave the way they behave. In fact, this is a big reason I became a therapist. Whether learned from our environment, reflex, habit, or out of despiration to meet an unmet need, there is always a reason we do (and say) the things we do.

One of my favorite things about being a therapist is joining clients in their journey to discover their “why.” Sometimes the why seems obvious, something born out of self preservation or survival. Sometimes finding the why is a journey that comes through a long process of self discovery and deeper understanding of self.

No matter what the road looks like, it is always rewarding!

Address

399 Tarrytown Road
Elmsford, NY
10523

Website

https://furstcounseling.com/

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