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CRAFT Psychotherapy, 169 Saxony Road Suite 111, Encinitas, CA (2025)

12/08/2025

How to handle the guilt when you’re celebrating differently this year, smaller, quieter, or away from family.

For so many of us (especially in Hispanic families), the holidays come with expectations.
“Todos aquí a las 6.”
“But we ALWAYS do it this way.”
“¿Y por qué no vienes?”
And suddenly you’re 32 years old feeling like a rebellious 15-year-old for wanting something different.

But the truth is:
✨ Sometimes traditions don’t fit where you are in life.
✨ Sometimes you’re tired, grieving, overwhelmed, burnt out.
✨ Sometimes you’re building new routines, your own family, or your own healing.
✨ And sometimes… you just want quiet.

If you’re the first one to break a generational holiday cycle this year, here’s how to hold the guilt with compassion:

1️⃣ Name the Guilt, Don’t Argue With It
Guilt often shows up because you care. Not because you’re doing something wrong.
Try: “I feel guilty AND I’m choosing what supports me.”

2️⃣ Remember: You’re Not Rejecting Your Culture or Your Family
You’re adjusting the experience, not erasing the meaning.
You can honor your roots without recreating the same structure every year.

3️⃣ Create Your Own Version of Connection
A quick FaceTime, sharing a recipe, lighting a candle, playing the same music: small touches still count.
You’re not disconnected. You’re redefining connection.

4️⃣ Give Yourself Permission to Grow Out of What No Longer Fits
Familial obligation is strong in our community. But so is evolution.
You’re allowed to choose peace, slowness, simplicity, or solitude.

5️⃣ Remind Yourself: Your Needs Matter Too
Yes, even during the holidays.
Yes, even in a family that taught you “everyone together, always.”
Yes, even if people don’t understand right away.

Choosing a different kind of holiday doesn’t make you a bad daughter/son/sibling.
It just means you’re listening to your life.

And honestly?
Breaking a generational pattern is still an act of love.
Even when it feels like guilt. ❤️

CulturalHealing

10/07/2025

Sometimes, when life finally slows down… it doesn’t feel peaceful…. it feels strange.
Your body might not recognize quiet as safety yet. You might notice restlessness when things are calm, or a sense of waiting for something to go wrong.

It’s not resistance, it’s protection.
The same instinct that once kept you safe is just learning a new way to be.

Over time, with gentleness and repetition, even a body that’s lived in hypervigilance can learn what safety feels like.
You don’t have to force it. You can meet it slowly, one deep breath, one safe person, one small moment of stillness at a time.

Peace isn’t something we earn.
It’s something we remember how to allow. 🌿

If calm feels uncomfortable, that’s not failure… that’s your nervous system trying to protect you. The work is helping it learn that safety doesn’t mean danger is coming next.

10/03/2025

Trauma teaches your nervous system to live on high alert, always scanning, always bracing, always waiting for the next impact.

It is exhausting.
And yet, it can feel impossible to simply turn it off.

Therapy is not about flipping a switch.
It is about learning to notice the tiny windows of safety, the quiet cracks of light that remind your body it does not have to guard every second.

A deep sigh that sneaks out before you realize it.
A moment when laughter bubbles up, surprising you.
The soft weight of a blanket that feels grounding instead of suffocating.
The sound of someone’s voice that makes your shoulders drop just a little.

These moments may be small, fleeting, and fragile, but they matter.
Because with time, they weave together.

Safety, once unfamiliar, begins to linger.
The windows open wider, the light stays longer.
And slowly, safety stops being a rare visitor and starts becoming a home your body can finally rest in.

09/25/2025

Growing up in families where criticism is constant… about your body, your emotions, your choices, leaves deep, lasting marks.

“You’re too loud.”
“You’re too shy.”
“You gained weight.”
“You lost too much weight.”
“Are you going to wear that?”
“You’re too sensitive.”
“You’re dramatic.”
“Why are you acting like that?”

As a child, these words don’t feel like feedback. They feel like:
➡️ I’m not good enough as I am.
➡️ Love is conditional.
➡️ My worth depends on pleasing others.

As adults, these messages can show up in subtle and powerful ways: overthinking what others think, people-pleasing to avoid rejection, anxiety around judgment… and even being more defensive than we realize. That quick flash of irritation or self-protection? Often, it’s our inner child responding to the echoes of old criticism.

Why do families do this? Often, criticism is rooted in:
• Belief that it protects you
• Their own unhealed shame or fear
• Cultural narratives like “tough love,” “sacrifice,” or “discipline”

Most parents and caregivers repeat patterns they learned. They may have meant to guide or protect, but the impact can still hurt.

Healing begins with recognizing these patterns, noticing when defensiveness is actually your inner child speaking, setting boundaries with harmful comments, reclaiming your voice, and practicing self-compassion. Therapy can help you separate your worth from the words you grew up hearing.

✨ You are not “too much.” You are enough. Always.

09/23/2025

If you’ve ever wondered why you struggle to say no, you’re not alone. People-pleasing isn’t about being “too kind.” It’s about safety. At some point in your life, your nervous system decided that pleasing others was the best way to avoid rejection, conflict, or abandonment.

That little version of you was brilliant because they kept you safe. But you don’t have to live in survival mode forever.

Every pause, every small boundary, every time you choose yourself, it’s not selfish. It’s healing.

💭 Save this as a reminder: You are worthy of love without having to earn it.

09/20/2025

Families often teach us to stay quiet, avoid conflict, or prioritize appearances over feelings. While these patterns may have helped maintain peace, they can also leave wounds unspoken, build resentment, and pass trauma from one generation to the next.

Healthy communication is not about being confrontational or disrespectful. It is about:
• Validating emotions: Recognizing that your feelings are real and deserve to be expressed.
• Setting boundaries: Protecting your well-being while showing others how to treat you with respect.
• Balancing self and family care: Speaking your truth even when it makes others uncomfortable, without guilt or shame.
• Breaking harmful patterns: Interrupting cycles of silence, avoidance, or guilt that have been passed down.

Practicing these skills helps individuals heal themselves, improve their relationships, and create a healthier, more open environment for future generations.

Healthy communication is not easy, but it is a radical act of love and courage, for yourself and for your family.

09/18/2025

In every family, there’s one person who decides they’ve had enough.
The one who refuses to repeat old patterns.
The one who sets boundaries, speaks truth, and chooses healing over silence.

And here’s the hard truth: the very act of healing can feel messy.
It can trigger anger, confusion, or resentment in others.
You may be labeled “difficult” or “selfish.”

But you’re not wrong.
You’re not the problem.
You’re the brave one choosing a different path, a path that others might not understand yet.

Breaking old patterns is never easy.
It’s loud. It’s uncomfortable.
But it’s the only way to create lasting change, for you and for the generations who come after.

You’re not wrong for wanting better.
You’re not wrong for saying no.
You’re not wrong for choosing healing. 💛

💬 Have you ever felt like the “difficult one” for setting boundaries or changing patterns? Share your story… I see you.

09/10/2025

When life feels overwhelming, it’s easy to feel scattered, lost, or unsure where to begin. You are not alone, and it’s okay to take things slowly. These tools are here to help you feel steady, safe, and supported, guiding you one gentle step at a time toward calm and care.
✨ Grounding – Use your senses to return to the present:
• Name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste.
• Press your feet firmly into the floor and notice the support beneath you.

✨ Mindfulness – Observe your thoughts and feelings without judgment:
• Label them (“This is anxiety,” “This is sadness”) and let them pass like clouds in the sky.
• Remind yourself: You are not your thoughts; you are the witness to them.

✨ Safety strategies – Plan ahead for moments when emotions feel overwhelming:
• Identify a trusted friend, therapist, or hotline you can reach out to.
• Create a calming routine: deep breathing, journaling, gentle movement, or comforting music.
• Designate a “safe space” at home where you can pause and reset.

✨ Self-compassion – Treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer a loved one:
• Replace harsh self-talk with gentle reminders: “I’m doing my best right now” or “It’s okay to feel this way.”
• Give yourself patience, understanding, and permission to rest when needed.

Even in the hardest moments, you have the power to care for yourself. Use these tools to steady yourself, find calm, and respond to your needs with patience, compassion, and strength. 💛

09/08/2025

This week marks the start of Su***de Prevention Week.
It’s a time to pause, reflect, and remind ourselves: talking about mental health can save lives.

So often, people carry their struggles quietly. That’s why learning to recognize the warning signs matters. Subtle shifts… like withdrawal, changes in mood, or saying things that hint at hopelessness, can be signals that someone is hurting.

💛 What helps most isn’t having all the answers, but creating space for conversation. Asking, listening without judgment, and showing up with compassion can be a lifeline.

This week, let’s hold onto the reminder: reaching out is brave, and being present can make all the difference.

***dePreventionWeek ***deAwareness

09/02/2025

This month is a reminder that conversations about mental health aren’t optional…they’re lifesaving.

Su***de is not a weakness. It’s not attention-seeking. It’s a sign of unbearable pain that feels too heavy to carry alone.

💛 Awareness means breaking silence.
💛 Validation means honoring the very real struggles people face.
💛 Prevention means reminding ourselves and each other—that help exists and hope is possible.

If you’ve ever felt like your story didn’t matter, or that your pain was “too much,” please know: you are not alone. Your life has value. Your voice matters. And it is okay to talk about what feels unspeakable.

Let’s use this month to check in with ourselves, check in with loved ones, and keep mental health conversations open and compassionate. Because connection can be the bridge back to hope.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out. In the U.S., you can dial or text 988 for the Su***de & Crisis Lifeline.

💛 You are never a burden. You are loved.

***dePreventionMonth

09/01/2025

✨ Today marks the start of CPTSD Awareness Month.

Complex PTSD isn’t just a label. It’s the story of nervous systems that survived repeated harm. It’s in the way your body tenses before danger appears, in the nights you can’t sleep because rest feels unsafe, in the texts you reread again and again, wondering if you said the wrong thing. Feeling “too much” or “not enough” all at the same time.

It’s in the quiet, invisible ways you’ve carried the weight of what no one should have had to endure.

💛 If this is your story: you are not defined by what happened to you. Every part of you worked tirelessly to keep you safe. This month, we’ll honor not only the pain, but the resilience, creativity, and humanity that exists alongside survival. Healing isn’t erasing the past, it’s learning that safety, connection, and rest are possible now.

You are seen. You are worthy. You are not alone.

08/31/2025

August 30th was National Grief Awareness Day… a gentle reminder that grief doesn’t follow a timeline. 🌿

Grief shows up in many forms: loss of a loved one, the end of a relationship, a career change, or even the loss of who we thought we’d be. It’s personal, sometimes unexpected, and never linear.

You don’t have to “move on” or “get over it.” Healing happens in waves, in quiet moments, in sharing your story, or simply allowing yourself to feel. Your grief is valid, and your pace is yours alone.

If you’re carrying grief today, take a moment to breathe, honor your feelings, and remind yourself that it’s okay to reach out for support. You are not alone. 💛

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