Integrative Couples Therapy

12/19/2025

You can pause instead of lashing out.
You can take a breath instead of saying the hurtful things racing through your mind.
You can step into another room to steady yourself instead of storming out of the house.
You can ask to talk later instead of shutting your partner down.

It takes strength to love, to nurture, and to stay emotionally and physically intimate.
It takes strength to clearly ask for what you need and want.
It takes strength to name the softer feelings underneath the intensity.

Kindness is not weakness.
Kindness is strength.

12/15/2025

Perhaps this is obvious, but just in case you do not know, we LOVE working with couples.

12/06/2025

11/23/2025

When couples fight or pull away from each other, it is painful for both people. When we feel threatened in our love relationship, even in small ways, we protect ourselves. The sympathetic nervous system takes over and we fight, leave, shut down, or appease. If couples do not understand what is happening, they can get stuck in this loop again and again.

The key is to notice when your nervous system becomes activated. When you feel yourself heading into fight, flight, freeze, or fawn- slow down and do something different.

The antidote to reactivity is vulnerability. Take a deep breath, pause, soften your tone, stop talking and listen, or extend a hand. If you are able to, share the emotions and needs that live underneath the anger. Your anger is trying to protect you, and is there for an important reason. Yet when we direct anger at our partner, without understanding its purpose, it almost always triggers their nervous system too. This is where so many couples get stuck.

If you can, try to look underneath the anger. Get curious. What do you really need and want in this relationship? Then speak from this more vulnerable place with care and clarity (and without harshness, judgement, criticism and blame). This is when your vulnerability becomes an antidote to reactivity.

11/22/2025

Integrative Couples Therapy, based in Encinitas, California, is looking for a San Diego based Social Media and Marketing Assistant. This position is a great fit for an Marriage and Family Therapy graduate student who loves creating content and is excited to learn more about couples therapy, attachment, relationships, and family systems. This part time role includes a mix of remote and in-person work, flexible hours, and ongoing mentorship. If you want experience that supports your future career as an MFT visit our website at https://integrativecouplestherapy.com/social-media-and-marketing-assistant. We look forward to hearing from you!

10/24/2025

Progress in couples therapy often happens slowly, quietly, and in ways that are easy to miss if you are looking for something dramatic.

You will know that couples therapy is working when you notice the gradual softening that happens when you start to understand each other differently. It is the pause before reacting, the gentle touch after an argument, and the courage to speak with vulnerability instead of holding it in. It is realizing that repair comes more easily, that affection feels more natural, and that connection begins to flow again.

Healing in relationships is rarely linear or loud. It is built in the small, consistent moments when both people choose to stay present and keep reaching for each other.

10/19/2025

Strong families aren’t built on perfection... they’re built on connection. 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦

As we head into another week, try a 10-minute weekly check-in with your family:
1️⃣ Share highs & lows from last week
2️⃣ Say one thing you appreciate about someone
3️⃣ Identify one thing to improve together

It’s short, simple, and helps everyone feel heard. Over time, these small moments build trust, understanding, and closeness. 💛

10/17/2025

Date night coming up this weekend? Here’s your reminder: it doesn’t have to be fancy — just intentional. 💕

Grab a few conversation prompts (next slide!), put away the phones, and give each other your full attention.

Two years in or twenty, showing up with intention never gets old. ✨

10/16/2025

🗨Thursday Thoughts | Today on the blog:

At the start of every relationship, it's easy to show up as our best selves. But what happens when real life sets in - bad moods, busy schedules, and misunderstandings.

Recently, my partner and I tried something called the Zero Negativity Pledge... a 30 day commitment to eliminate criticism, blame, and negativity from our relationship.

The results? More empathy. More connection. More peace.

🤍Read the full story and learn how to take the pledge yourself by visiting this link:
https://integrativecouplestherapy.com/blog/zeronegativitypledge

10/13/2025

Start your week together — not just side by side.

Over coffee, ask each other:
💬 What’s one thing you’re looking forward to this week?
💬 What’s one stressor I can support you with?

Mindfulness in love is about being present, not perfect. 🩵