Kirstin Carl Therapy

Kirstin Carl Therapy As a licensed psychotherapist in the Los Angeles area, with 15 years of experience, I specialize in

So often censoring ourselves, we don’t tell others what we really think, feel, and need. We fear that it’s too much, and...
03/08/2022

So often censoring ourselves, we don’t tell others what we really think, feel, and need. We fear that it’s too much, and that others will pull away.

But here’s an important truth: Without authenticity, we can’t feel close to others.

We feel distant, if we aren’t truly known.

Our unspoken thoughts, feelings, and needs create a space between us and the people around us.

Shame tells you to hide. Authenticity tells you to take up space.

Come out of the shadows by sharing what’s really going on inside of you, not just the shiny, filtered parts.

Abandoning yourself fits like an old shoe. It’s worn out, but you slip into it easily.You’re constantly exhausted, runni...
03/05/2022

Abandoning yourself fits like an old shoe. It’s worn out, but you slip into it easily.

You’re constantly exhausted, running circles around what you think is going on inside of everyone else.

You’re not going to find the intimacy you crave. You can’t show up in a relationship, if you’re nowhere to be found.

You’re not able to tell people what you really think and feel. You’re a chameleon—twisting and bending yourself to fit the shapes of others.

So here’s a question for you: What do you need? You probably have no idea.

Therapy can help you create a map of yourself. You deserve that. You’ve spent so many years lost in fear of people leaving you. It’s time to find intimacy with yourself, so you can find intimacy with others. 👩‍❤️‍👩

If you feel insecure and fear abandonment, you’re obsessed with externals: what others are thinking, feeling, or needing...
03/02/2022

If you feel insecure and fear abandonment, you’re obsessed with externals: what others are thinking, feeling, or needing.
You’re so afraid of disapproval that you push aside your internals to please others.
So guess what’s happening? You’re abandoning yourself.
You deserve better.
Stay tuned for more about this idea. It’s crucial for finding the intimacy you long for.

talk

When you notice shame coming up in a relationship, you can write in your journal about why the shame is not yours to car...
02/27/2022

When you notice shame coming up in a relationship, you can write in your journal about why the shame is not yours to carry.⁠
You can actively choose not to take it all on.⁠
Imagine yourself setting it down in front of you.⁠
When you’re taking on responsibility that isn’t yours, or telling yourself you are the problem in a relationship, pause and reflect. Remember that because there are two people in a relationship, both people deserve some responsibility.⁠

Your shame hides in many places-in anger, blame, denial, workaholism, perfectionism, drinking, and anything else you com...
02/23/2022

Your shame hides in many places-in anger, blame, denial, workaholism, perfectionism, drinking, and anything else you compulsively engage in to make yourself feel better.
What is shame?
It’s a very “therapist-y” word. It’s a term you probably have heard, and may have some idea of what it is.
But do you really know what it means?
It’s a core belief that you are bad. That you are not good enough. That you don’t deserve to have the desires of your heart fulfilled. That you are defective. That you are beyond hope.
Make 2022 the year you kick shame to the curb.
Want to know more about breaking free from shame? Stay tuned for tips.

A major reason why relationships fail is because both partners are looking to the other person to complete them.Successf...
02/15/2022

A major reason why relationships fail is because both partners are looking to the other person to complete them.

Successful relationships are formed when both partners are filled up to overflowing, and so actually have something to offer the other person.

Therapy is a place to start filling yourself up, so you can actually show up for a partner.

Visit my website to learn more about how I can partner with you in your journey toward intimacy. www.kcarlmft.com

Make a list of any roles or activities in which you feel used or taken advantage of, or resentful about.Identify where y...
02/09/2022

Make a list of any roles or activities in which you feel used or taken advantage of, or resentful about.

Identify where you may have said "yes" when you meant "no."

Imagine yourself speaking the truth about the situation, and notice what emotions come up.

Journal about the way these emotions came about—such as shame or powerlessness about saying no.

In therapy, you can discover how these emotions connect to your past.

Understanding your past empowers you to create a new story for yourself, in which you can say no when you mean no. ✨

When reflecting on others' requests, you can say something like, "I’ll get back to you on that," "I need some time to co...
01/31/2022

When reflecting on others' requests, you can say something like, "I’ll get back to you on that," "I need some time to consider that," or "That's an interesting question. I need to give it some thought before I answer."

Women who I work with frequently tell me they feel a sense of urgency in responding to others. I help them understand that expressing their need to give themselves space to make decisions.

Most times, giving someone an answer right away isn’t needed. If you notice yourself feeling pressure, remember you can give yourself permission to take some time. You are more likely to listen to your needs, and not just others’ needs, if you pause and give yourself space.

You can be more intentional about setting boundaries by first becoming aware of places, situations, or relationships whe...
12/15/2021

You can be more intentional about setting boundaries by first becoming aware of places, situations, or relationships where you feel uncomfortable.

With this new awareness, you can grow a new consciousness in which you actively pause and make decisions about what you let in and out.

You can begin telling yourself that you have the right to say no, and the right to pause, at any time. ✨

As a therapist specializing in partnering with women to clear away the wreckage of their past so they’re ready for the relationship they desire, I’m offering tips and words of wisdom for setting boundaries.

Stay tuned for more!

                     

· You don’t slow down.·  You frantically find yourself responding to everyone else’s crisis.·  You feel a sense of urgen...
11/17/2021

· You don’t slow down.

· You frantically find yourself responding to everyone else’s crisis.

· You feel a sense of urgency about having to respond immediately to what others need, think, and want.

· You try to please others because you’re afraid of them being angry, rejecting you, or abandoning you.

· You dismiss your needs and feelings like they don’t matter, especially compared to others’ needs and feelings.

If so, these are boundary issues that can keep you feeling stuck and unfulfilled relationally.

As a therapist specializing in partnering with women to clear away the wreckage of their past so they’re ready for the relationship they desire, I’m offering tips and words of wisdom for setting boundaries.

Stay tuned!

Address

16944 Ventura Boulevard , Suite 3
Encino, CA
91316

Opening Hours

Wednesday 10:30am - 9pm
Thursday 10am - 9pm
Friday 11am - 4pm
Saturday 12pm - 4pm

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