Sandy Pedram, Esq., LMFT

11/07/2025

Relationships are work ... that is so worth it

10/29/2025

TAKE UP SPACE, I have to remind individuals within a Couple when their partner is asking them if he or she understood correctly. So many clients cower and are quick to say yes when they don't mean it, out of fear of taking up too much/so much space within the relationship that they will be left without a relationship. And I get it:

"No relationship can eliminate existential isolation, but aloneness can be shared in such a way that love compensates for its pain." - Yalom & Josselson (2019)

No one wants to be alone in their aloneness. But lack of authenticity, presence, and conflict-avoidance are more destructive to the relationship, at the end of the day, than self-empowerment.

10/23/2025

Love demands democracy: for the weak to stand up and the mighty to melt

~Terry Real extrapolating on Carol Gilligan

10/19/2025

FLEXIBILITY is the most important quality to seek out in a partner when you're dating. It is the hallmark of mental health.

10/18/2025

If you refuse to face your pain, you’ll make others organize their lives around it.

Unmet shame requires endless reassurance. Unmet anxiety turns into controlling behavior. Unmet grief prevents having vulnerable conversations.

The people around you start carrying not only their lives but also the heaviness of what you won’t feel and connection turns into the management of your fear. “Please don’t leave me,” is a fear of abandonment. “Why aren’t you more on top of things,” is a fear of instability. “Why can’t you just be positive and light,” that’s a fear of emotions. Unprocessed fears become expectations and demands.

True connection requires self-awareness and ownership. When you meet your pain directly, you stop subconsciously asking others to bend their life around it. You can state your needs clearly instead of expecting them to be met in demanding, distorted, and unconscious ways. And, of course, other people can certainly help you heal. That is one of the things that makes relationships poignant and sacred, but there is a big difference between naming what you need in a clean, lucid, and embodied way and subconsciously expecting others to behave in a way that keeps you compartmentalized.

So remember your healing is not just for you. It makes you less reactive, codependent, able to release grudges, able to stay present through conflict, and just more spacious to be around. It’s for everyone. I know its scary. The thought of going closer to the pain feels like everything will fall apart. Go slow but…[go]

- Corey Muscara

09/09/2025

09/08/2025

To my dear clients who come in with shattered trust in the goodness of the world, a loss of innocence, after the experience of NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: do not "underestimate the moral structure of reality," as Jordan Peterson says.

"The universe will avenge your perpetrator for "tearing apart the invisible threads that bind human beings together... There's a built-in mechanism in the fabric of reality that rejects that kind of behavior eventually because truth has weight... justice unfolds, not instantly, not always visibly, but inevitably...Truth, time, and consequence. These are the tools through which divine justice moves through the world and they are far more effective than any human retaliation could ever be...STAND IN TRUTH...Truth is like gravity. It doesn't care whether you acknowledge it or not...eventually reality asserts itself...Consequence when born of truth and filtered through time hits where it matters most. It doesn't always strike publicly. It shows up in the narcissists inner world: anxiety, emptiness, fear, instability...consume them...[they] become incapable of experiencing real connection, peace, or meaning."

A narcissists target "may not see the process as it unfolds... may never witness the fall, but it's important to understand that JUSTICE ISN'T DEPENDENT UPON YOUR OBSERVATION. It's bigger than that. The very act of holding to the truth, refusing to repay evil with evil, refusing to become what hurt you, that's an alignment with divine order. That's how you stay connected to justice: not by pursuing revenge but by trusting the structure of reality to deal with those who violate it."

HAVE FAITH

09/02/2025

https://voyagela.com/interview/meet-sandy-pedram-of-sandy-p-pedram-esq-lmft/

Today we'd like to introduce you to Sandy Pedram. Hi Sandy, please kick things off for us with an introduction to yourself and your story. I have always been philosophically intrigued by human relationships, behavior, and stories. These interests led me to study English Literature, Persian Liter

08/31/2025

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DNlW98nsT1I/?igsh=MW1lYTJkajNjbm0ybA==