Real Deal Healing

12/22/2025

Feelings - the way out is through! Feel em!
♥️♥️♥️

Emotions are meant to move, not be suppressed or resisted.

They carry messages, not permanent states.
When you fight a feeling, it stays trapped inside.
When you numb it, it goes quiet only to return later.
But when you allow an emotion to be fully felt,
without judgment or escape,
the body understands that it is safe to release it.
Sadness softens.
Anger loses its grip.
Fear passes through.
This is how emotions complete their natural cycle — by being felt, honored, and gently let go.🌿

12/22/2025

It’s easy to feel overwhelmed getting ready for Christmas. Pressured. Thinking certain things have to be ready for the special day, even if your plans are simple. We can remind ourselves that a lot of stress is a choice. So what if some of it happens after Christmas Day? So what if I simplify my plans? It’s ok to relax, let go, and enjoy the process. What gets done gets done. What doesn’t, doesn’t. And it’s all ok. Just let it all be ok. 🌟🌟🌟🦋🌈

12/09/2025

Some simple suggestions for dealing with overwhelm. I practice some of this and appreciate the way she describes them. I don’t have an “overwhelm buddy” though.

Do you know that I believe that overwhelm isn't a negative thing in our lives? I actually think of overwhelm as an "indicator" light - like the ones in our car that say, "check engine" or "low fuel".

Overwhelm is the indicator in our lives that something needs to change. Now, if we ignore overwhelm and exist in it - then it becomes negative. But, if we can step back and look at it as that indicator of something that needs to change, we then gain the insight to make changes.

It doesn't mean that the feeling of overwhelm vanishes. I get how hard it can be when you're overwhelmed to move out of it. But, you gain power in recognizing that it doesn't define you; it's just an emotion you are experiencing.

Here are ways I bust out of overwhelm so that I can gain a bit of peace (and then time to re-adjust my life or schedule or commitments or whatever).

✨✨1. Pause.
There is so much power in the pause. A pause is when you decide to step out of what you're doing - even if it's just a minute. A pause doesn't mean you have to solve everything or create massive change. A pause is simply a moment for you to rest, to catch your breath, to recalibrate. Sometimes a pause is a couple deep breaths, sometimes it is a walk, and sometimes it is removing yourself from the situation. Never underestimate that power of a pause.

✨✨2. Do one thing.
Most of the time when I experience overwhelm it is because too much is being asked from me in one moment. Whether it was during the toddler years of my life when I didn't feel like I could get much done or it is the teen years where I feel like their needs rival the toddler needs but with me driving here and there and finishing projects OR it is just life - I've learned that best way to calm my spirit is to choose one thing to accomplish. Just one. And then the next and then the next. It's when I try to do it all at once that the overwhelm light pops on.

✨✨3. Create a list.
This goes with do one thing, but when you create a list of what is overwhelming you you give yourself context. The list could be as simple as "the song that keeps repeating on the cartoon" and the "pile of laundry" and email and so forth. Just list it - get it out of your head and onto paper. Then you know what it is and instead of carrying it all, it's out there in the universe. There's a great deal of power in just releasing it in this way.

✨✨4. Have your "overwhelm" friend.
This is the friend where you can call or text and just get that list of overwhelm stuff out there. No solutions are needed during this time, just someone to listen. Maybe you establish a code word, but having that person to just be there is priceless. And, you, too, can be this person for someone else.

✨✨5. Give yourself grace.
You're human. Not perfect. Humans experience emotions; they get pushed to the edge. You're real. You'd probably give your best friend a whole bunch of grace if she was experiencing overwhelm - so remember to extend it to yourself. Grace to be real, grace to try, grace to take a break.

You're worth it.

Those are the four things I use to conquer that initial feeling of overwhelm. Remember, you CANNOT fix things while you're experiencing the intensity of overwhelm. You can fix things and make changes when you're out of overwhelm.

You've got this.

I believe in you.

~Rachel

12/06/2025

Self love and understanding
During anxious times and just plain old tough times

10 Truths to Cling to When You're in an Anxiety Storm:

1. This will pass. It will. It will. It will. It will not stay this dark and confusing and terrible forever, I promise. There is light at the end of the tunnel.

2. Everything is not as bad as it seems right now. You're seeing absolutely everything through an anxiety filter today. When the anxiety lifts everything will seem a whole lot better and more hopeful.

3. You're not the only one. You. Are. Not. The. Only. One. No matter what you're feeling right now (angry, sad, tense, terrified, hopeless, crazy). (Yes, all those things and more can be symptoms of anxiety). I promise you're not the only one.

4. You don't have to just "power through" and you don't need to do this on your own. Ask for help, talk to your doctor, see a counselor, call a friend.

5. There is nothing wrong with you. You're normal.

6. It's not your fault. It's not because you don't take enough herbs or don't exercise enough. It's not because you love sugar. It's not because you're not meditating enough, praying enough, or not strong enough. Sometimes anxiety just happens.

7. Kick shame to the curb. Talking about it with a trusted someone helps a lot.

8. You're not a "unique" "unfixable" case. A common lie that I've believed and most of my friends have wrestled with is we're the one person who is really messed up or unhelp-able. Not true. There is help for you.

9. Be gentle with yourself. If you're in the middle of an anxiety storm remember to rest, take baths, exercise (in ways you enjoy), eat well, censor your news intake, take some things off your plate, listen to good music, say no to things that will be stressful, watch funny tv.

10. People that don't know, don't know. There are some people who haven't actually experienced anxiety that are going to give you terrible advice. They don't know what they don't know, talk to people who know.

1. (Again, because it's important): This will pass. It will, it will, it will.
Hang in there friends, we're in this together.

Love,
Jess

12/06/2025

Notice how your body feels around certain people. That’s how you can tell when you are truly safe or not

Not Everyone Calms Your Nervous System—Some Agitate It
Without Saying a Word

You’ll know safety not by how someone speaks to you,
but by how your body settles around them.
There’s a difference between someone who sounds kind
and someone whose energy is actually safe.
You’ll feel it in the way your shoulders drop.
In how your breath deepens.
In how your guard slowly melts—not because you’re trying to impress,
but because their presence doesn’t require performance.
Safe presence isn’t loud.
It doesn’t rush.
It doesn’t ask you to shrink, fix, or entertain.
It simply holds space
in a way that lets you feel more like yourself when they’re near.
And once you’ve felt it—really felt it—
you’ll start to notice how many people you had to be smaller for.
How often your nervous system was in protection mode
just to get through the conversation.
You’ll start to realize:
It wasn’t me. It was the space I was in.
It was the energy I kept tolerating.
It was the subtle tension I kept explaining away.
Safe presence feels like exhale.
Like not needing to watch your tone, your timing, or your truth.
Like someone who doesn’t just hear your words—
they feel them.
These people exist.
And they don’t need to be fixed, fixed by, or fought for.
They arrive when you stop settling for static,
and start choosing peace.
Protect your energy.
Notice who your body softens around.
That’s the real connection.
That’s the truth beneath the words.
That’s where you begin to feel safe enough to grow.
~Coach Mantas

Image by Susan Seddon Boulet

12/05/2025

One of the parts of losing a loved one that is not often talked about is the part about healing from aspects of that relationship that were not so great, or even admitting that they existed. Even though we may have been taught somehow not to “speak ill of the dead,” it is actually important to understand, admit, and process the fact that some relationships with loved ones were difficult, hurtful and even traumatic. Those things are not gone just because the person passed away. Those things often live inside us until we acknowledge them and do what we can to heal ourselves. Maybe we are filled with guilt over our part in all of it. That, too, will interrupt our lives until we give it attention.

We can still have conversations with our loved ones. We can say we are sorry, we can tell them they hurt us, anything and all of it. If a therapist helps to release it, so be it.

It is ok to have a happy life after a loved one leaves. We all deserve that. Peace be with you my friends. 🌟🌟🌟🦋🌈

12/02/2025

Give yourself credit.
Give it some thoughtful consideration and really let it land. Self-love and appreciation. ❤️❤️❤️💕♥️💕

11/30/2025

Just a little something can help.

11/20/2025

Yes. I really just want to sleep a lot. 🌟🌟🌟

November always feels like the doorway into winter, not the coldest part, but the pause before. The trees are shedding what they no longer need, the nights draw in, and everything around us quiets.
This poem is a reminder that our bodies follow the same rhythm. You’re not falling behind. You’re simply shifting into the season’s slower stride. Early wintering is still wintering.
-Woodlarking.

11/20/2025

A big part of living a stress-less life is becoming aware of when you are piling too much on in your mind. Today’s example: I monitored my energy and determined that I could go to the drive up bank and the store for basically two items.

As I pulled in the store, I thought maybe I would grab a couple of turkeys and take them to the food bank which is right next door to the grocery. I immediately began to feel anxiety and overwhelmed in my body.

I recognized this and said, “Ok that’s too much right now. I can do that on another day.” Then I took some breaths and got it calmed down as I walked in the store. (Actually, I went in the loo to breathe as well, and say a quick prayer, if I am honest).

Learning about the ways I create tension around different things is key to knowing when to “take a different path” ( redirect my mind)
Peace be with you my frien

11/18/2025

Awareness tells us so much about ourselves

These are not just moments ...they're waypoints...showing you that you're on the right path.

11/15/2025

Let it all go.
Allow the stillness. 🌳

Let It All Go

Release everything that is not beneficial
to your well-being.
Let it all go.
Let it fall away like old leaves
that have reached the end of their season.

You do not need to carry
what drains your spirit
or dims your clarity.

What is heavy, let it rest.
What is tangled,
let it loosen.

In the small, quiet spaces
you create by letting go,
your breath softens,
your mind settles,
and your heart remembers
its own rhythm.

And in that stillness you find your peace again.

~ 'Let It All Go' by Spirit of a Hippie

✍️ Mary Anne Byrne

~ Art by Olamik