Rewriting Myself

04/22/2026

https://youtu.be/_Sc8ESvmKJo?si=EqcZ4W9OLPc5peiz

Part 2 of the interview I did for those interested

Episode 4: Grief Support in Fall River - Part II

04/11/2026

TO ALL IN PERSON MEMBERS:

Check your email for the NEW meeting schedule. There was an error in the last email so you should have a newer one. Next meeting date should show up as April 30th.

If you havnt gotten it please message me here or on text.

Send a message to learn more

04/07/2026

Seasonal transitions can sometimes amplify our responses to grief. That said, we have opened up a couple spots for our in person grief support meetings in Fall River. To be considered for this we ask that you contact us directly for a brief phone consult. No private info is collected and no payments are EVER required to attend.

If interested contact us here via Facebook Messenger, Call or text 508-974-3280, or email bob@rewritingmyself.com

03/25/2026

Recently I had the privilege of being a guest on the Fall River State Of Mind's Grief episode. Speaking about grief is never easy but it is so essential for anyone who wants to heal .

This is part 1 of 2

https://youtu.be/QU862-HgywU?si=ICxOhGNdKnREX8tn

Fall River State of Mind Episode 3 : Grief Support in Fall RiverHosted by: Owen Ivey LICSWGuest: Bob Mailloux - Founder, Rewriting Myself Grief SupportGrief ...

03/05/2026

Older article but sharing to spread the word for those looking to join us.

Fall River man starts support group for people dealing with loss

When Robert Mailloux’s wife died, he found that local support resources were lacking. Since then, he’s taken up helping others deal with grief.

02/24/2026

Meeting for Feb 26th is CANCELLED.

We will meet next on March 12th

Stay safe

02/20/2026

My wife was 32 when she passed unexpectedly. We had never discussed life after one of us passed so to suddenly have to figure out grief for myself and our daughter was a lot to suddenly face. One of my initial fears was that I would mess up and that would not just affect me but also our daughter. I immediately sought help so that I would not mess up and make mistakes as I began this journey....

..... wow, was I kidding myself.

Let me tell you this today if you do not already know it. You WILL make mistakes along the way as you grieve. Actually, I dont even know if you could call them all mistakes but maybe calling theme "choices you would go back and do differently". See, I made a lot of mistakes, but in hindsight, had I not made some of them I do not think it would have led to other positive things that eventually came. As an example, I had joined a lot of support groups and in doing so found that they are not all the same and that many of the ones I joined were not the right fit and in fact had characteristics that actually pushed me away from seeking further help at that time. This was negative at the time but ultimately was one of the driving reasons why I eventually started my own group, as I wanted to have a place that took all the positives I found in my time at various support groups and leave out the things I found unhelpful.

Something that helped me out at the beginning was when others who were further along on their walk in grief would share choices that they made that they wished they could undo. I though today I would just lay out a few of my own personal mistakes I made so that it gives you perspective and food for thought should you face these same choices. Please note that what I consider a "mistake" for me might be totally a great fit for you. My experience is not yours but its the only one I have that I can share.

- Getting rid of things I though would be too painful to keep. I will say I kept most of the things my wife and I owned, but there were some personal items that I wish I had held onto a little longer

- Not giving myself time to grieve while at work. Some people throw themselves back into their work and the distraction is enough to get them through the day, but there are not many people who can say that the loss of their loved one does not enter their mind even when they are extremely distracted. In hindsight I wish I had discussed with my supervisor that I needed to set aside time mid day to just go out to my car and let it all out.

- Accept help when offered. At the beginning I was overloaded with offers of support not truly realizing two things. One was that the "village" that was supporting me would soon be back to their own busy lives and not as available. The other was not realizing how much I really needed the help, and often, still do. I was too worried about being a burden when I shouldve just taken all that was offered.

- Taking my health more seriously. Not eating, maybe drinking alcohol, not getting enough sleep... all these seem permissable when grieving but not only are they hurting your body, but your mind and emotions will struggle to cope also.

- Turning to "quick fix" remedies. When God didnt seem to help those first few days I sought out mediums, self help books, new age practices, even looked into other religious beliefs. I was advised not to do this but didnt listen. Now as I have totally found my faith in Christ, I shudder at the spiritual harm that I caused myself by falling into that trap. Its a trap I am still working to climb out of. In the end there is no crutch that will heal your grief. At best it may pacify you for a few days but at its worst it can cause more harm than you could ever imagine.

- I spent too much time focused on regrets. If their is one thing grief taught me is that I am not in control of as much in this life as I think I am. That said, most of my regrets I had were of things I never truly couldve controlled. "If I had done this then this wouldve happened" was just another way my mind was trying to take control when it was not in control.

- Probably the BIGGEST mistake I work on overcoming to this day is forgetting that MY WORDS HAVE POWER. The words I utter will predominately help to shape my future. When I said "Ill never be happy again" that wasnt a premonition of what I thought would happen, but it was a declaration of what I was choosing would happen. When I said "I can never go back to that place again because the memories are too painful" that wasnt me realizing that I couldnt ever again revisit places my wife and I enjoyed, but it was me declaring I was choosing not to go. These words were not actually facts unless I spoke them and committed to them that they would become truth. I lost precious moments of peace by allowing my words to draw out my future in a way I didnt want to live

This is just some food for thought. You may take it or leave it but I am choosing to share because grief is not a struggle youre meant to face alone. When you are down, let others help you up. When you are up, help pick up others who are down. Once you know grief and it knows you, you move forward and at times you will rely on others for help, and when you are strong enough that you can do it, you should help those who then can use that hand. As our "village" of support returns to their lives, we become each others new neighbors in this place none of us chose to live but like it or not, are now all neighbors. Go easy on yourself today. If it seems like its one of those days that you just cant do it, remember this.... yesterday was one of those days also, but look....here you are... you made it and you will do it again today. Youve gone through the toughest part... now you will continue to get stronger in ways you never imagined you were capable of. Youll see.

02/14/2026

For some Valentines Day is just another day but for others its a day where we are flooded with commercial reminders of your loss. Sometimes words help but they dont replace that feeling.

Im attaching a short article that might help anyone who is spending the day quietly and wants to replace some of the silence with significance. I hope some of the ideas in this article are helpful to someone.

Reconnect and celebrate lost loved ones on Valentine's Day with these eight romantic ideas. Commemorate your lost loved ones.

01/30/2026

With the Super Bowl coming up, people are spending $6,000 or more for a seat in the stadium—to watch strength on display.

Speed, power, discipline, toughness. A professional football team at the peak of performance, celebrated by millions.

Every other Thursday night, I sit with a very different kind of strength.

A grief support group. No pads. No helmets. No crowds cheering. Just people who have been hit by life in ways no one trains for—showing up anyway. Carrying loss, heartbreak, absence. Sitting in a room and choosing honesty over avoidance, connection over isolation.

Both are teams. Both require endurance. But one kind of strength is measured in yards gained and games won. The other is measured in breaths taken, tears held back or finally released, and the courage it takes to say, “I’m still here.”

One experience costs thousands of dollars and lasts a few hours.

The other is free—and can change a life.

It’s a reminder that some of the strongest people I’ve ever known aren’t under stadium lights, but sitting quietly in folding chairs, doing the hardest work there is: continuing to love after loss.

If you or someone you know, is looking for a place to connect with other people who are also learning how to drive down the field, reach out.

01/28/2026

GROUP MEMBERS reminder there is a meeting this week, but as always, use your judgment if you feel safe out and about with icy conditions. I will be there so hope SOMEONE else comes 🤪

01/24/2026

Remember to go out and start your car a couple times over the next few days. The cold weather will drain your battery quicker. Letting the car run 4 or 5 minutes will help.Keep the battery charged up.

01/17/2026

Some of the things discussed in a grief support group are how each person can have different responses to annual life events after they lose someone. Birthdays, anniversaries, and even the date someone passed can all affect one person different than the next.

As we just came out of the holidays.Many people recently experienced there 1st, 2nd, or 3rd year of going through the holiday season after the loss of a child, spouse, parent, or other special person. As our group reconvened, different people shared their experiences of what the holiday season was like. While some found new ways to celebrate, others felt it was exhausting just to get the holidays over with.

I was approached by someone who had shared how they felt like they hated the holidays now and after hearing some others who were able to find joy again, they questioned why they felt how they did? This person felt like after a few years they should be celebrating again amd not just enduring.
This is a common thought that crosses many minds on their healing path, but I wanted to share my thoughts on the matter. Again, im not a therapist...just someone sharing my peespective and experience. If you agree or disagree, you are just as correct about your opinion as I am of mine. 🙂

1. Grief doesn’t move in a straight line.

It’s not like a wound that steadily heals day by day. Many people feel “okay” at times and then get hit hard again by anniversaries, smells, songs, or traditions that were tied to their spouse. Holidays can reopen everything because they highlight the empty chair, the routines that are gone, and the life that was imagined together.

2. Missing celebration isn’t the same as being stuck.

Some widowed people never enjoy holidays the same way again—and that doesn’t automatically mean something is wrong. It can mean love is still present. But if the misery feels constant, heavy, and life feels pointless most days, that’s different and worth gentle attention.

3. There’s a difference between grief and depression.

Grief can include sadness, lack of interest in celebrations, and wanting to withdraw—especially at certain times of year. Depression tends to be more global: numbness, hopelessness, guilt, inability to function, changes in sleep/appetite, or thoughts like “I don’t want to be here anymore.” If any of those are happening, support from a counselor, grief therapist, or doctor could really help.

4. Many people need more than time—they need connection.

Support groups for widows/widowers, one-on-one therapy, faith communities, or even just one safe friend can make a huge difference. Not to “fix” the grief, but to carry it with someone.