To Have and To Hold Couples Care

10/16/2025

Are any of these horsemen crowding in on your relationship? Do you have the tools to remove them?

08/19/2025

Happy National Couples Day to all of the incredible, commited,resilient couples I have the privilege of working with! Celebrate YOU today!

11/05/2023

Change doesn't happen when we think about it - it happens when we take a step in a new direction.

07/11/2023

Loving our spouse with Christlike love means looking at his or her heart. Learning to identify the emotional need that is behind your spouse’s behavior—rather than just arguing about the symptoms—is a major step in being a positive influence in an otherwise difficult relationship. Don’t curse the behavior. Address the need.

06/24/2023

Marriage requires each partner to have a sense of ownership of himself or herself. Henry Cloud

09/13/2022

Understanding requires looking, considering, examining, comparing and contrasting. It requires more curiosity than certainty. And more safety than solution.

Listen to understand and see how much you can learn about your partner.

The Gottman Institute

03/03/2022

01/04/2022

Disagreement is not wrong or bad. But, we must learn to listen to one another to understand each other's thoughts, feelings, and desires.

Once we understand each other, then we can look for a solution. Compromise is not negative. Compromise is defined as "ability to listen to two sides in a dispute, and devise an agreement acceptable to both"

That is healthy decision making...in any relationship.

11/05/2021

Positive conversations are a key ingredient for true intimacy.

10/25/2021

You cannot overestimate the importance of listening to your spouse. Listening says, “I value you and our relationship. I want to know you.” You can never have an intimate marriage if you don’t know your spouse.

Respecting the other person’s ideas, even when they differ from your own, is essential to communication.

Responding too quickly gets in the way of effective listening.

Listen twice as much as you talk, and you will know your spouse much better.

Listening brings knowledge. The more we listen and the better we listen, the more we understand.

09/15/2021

Love, in marriage and in any other relationship, requires unselfishness and commitment from both sides.

09/03/2021

When an action doesn’t come naturally to you, doing it is a greater expression of love.

The Bible reminds us that love should be our highest goal. We can make it an attainable goal by speaking our spouse’s love language, even when it’s not our own.