10/23/2025
They’re actually three separate things, though we often squish them together on the internet.
This is how I think the phrase “big feelings” and “deeply feeling kids” came into the world.
🌟 Emotions are a source of information about the world around you; think of them like your spidey sense. They don’t immediately have names or necessarily come in with an explanation.
🌟 Emotionality is the range of emotions--think volume as well as variation. This is the closest idea to “big feelings.” Some people experience a wide range in the volume of their feelings--when they are excited, they feel VERY excited, and when they are sad, they feel VERY sad, while others are less excitable but also feel less sadness or anger.
🌟 Emotion regulation is the process through which people make sense of their feelings and do their best to adapt. Sometimes that means understanding what the information they are taking in is telling them and using it wisely, while other times that means managing the outward display of their feelings to fit the environment they are in.
Understanding the difference between these terms is the first step in understanding how to best serve your child’s needs. Emotion as a whole can feel overwhelming and oftentimes confusing, but breaking it down into its smaller parts will help you understand what your children (and you) are feeling.