Total Health & Wellness Associates, PLLC

11/06/2025

Is there safety in your relationships that allows you to be authentic?…that allows space for otherness?

We often think relational conflict is about *the issue* — politics, parenting styles, how the dishwasher is loaded.

But in couples and families, what causes pain isn’t that we see the world differently — it’s that we don’t make room for each other’s *otherness.*

This week in my New York Times column, I respond to a grandmother worried about expressing her faith around her atheist daughter-in-law and new grandchild.

As I write: “This might seem like a difference about faith, but I think this is fundamentally an issue about the freedom to be authentic.”

🔗 Read my advice in The New York Times: bit.ly/3WHMrbs

✉️ Got a dilemma you want help with? Email me! askthetherapist@nytimes.com

🔔 Subscribe to the column: bit.ly/4mZtJaN

11/03/2025

The City of Detroit Posted this on LinkedIn. Sharing it here as well.

“When Detroiters face challenges, we come together. We’re investing $1.75 million and coordinating departments across the city to make sure families have what they need. Early next week, we’ll announce more than 100 food distribution sites to help anyone impacted by the SNAP interruption. Take a look to find out how you can help and where you can find help.”

10/31/2025

Key point: the same event can be experienced differently by each individual, with some individuals being impacted in debilitating ways, while others aren’t impacted at all or very minimally. Our nervous systems are at the core of why these differences exist.

10/15/2025

Some great information included here. There is a course offering at the end. The course is not affiliated with our practice and we are not endorsing the course, as we don’t have firsthand knowledge about it. Separate from the course offering, the content shared is important to understand. We can assist you with unlearning and learning new patterns for your nervous system if you’re interested. Contact us!
(248) 957-6444
admin@mytotalhealth.care

10/13/2025

Dr. Frank Anderson explains in clear language and in a stepwise manner the how’s and why’s of trauma experiences and trauma healing.

10/12/2025

Curiosity. Perspective Taking. Important skills to develop. 🌿

The Depth You Don’t See 🌊:

One bright morning, a group of animals gathered by a shining lake.
Two tall giraffes stepped in first, their long necks gliding above the water, eyes calm and confident.

“Come in, friends!” they called. “It’s not deep at all!”

The bears exchanged glances. The rabbits hesitated.
And a tiny mouse stood trembling at the edge — staring at the ripples that looked like waves.

To the giraffes, the lake was calm and shallow — a gentle splash of water on their knees.
But to the mouse, it was an ocean — vast, dark, and terrifying.

The giraffes smiled kindly, unaware.
They weren’t mocking. They simply couldn’t see the lake through smaller eyes.

💧 And that’s how life works, doesn’t it?

We judge too easily.
We tell others — “It’s not that hard.” “Just move on.” “Why are you overthinking?”
But the truth is, what feels small to you might be someone else’s storm.

Your calm could be their chaos.
Your comfort could be their breaking point.

Not because they’re weak —
but because their story runs deeper than you can see.
Their heart carries weights your eyes can’t measure.

🌿 So before you say, “It’s not that bad,”
pause — and remember:
you might just be a giraffe talking to a mouse.

💡Takeaway:
True empathy begins where judgment ends.
We never see the full depth of another’s pain — only the ripples it leaves on the surface.
So speak softly. Act kindly.
For the storm you call shallow might be the one someone is fighting to survive in silence.

10/09/2025

“I know when the (self) critic is loud, I’m doing something amazing!” - Alanis Morrissette

From today’s Keynote at Innovations in Psychotherapy Conference: The Premier Trauma Therapy Conference.

🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

10/05/2025

Dr. Juliao is going to use the important information that Dr. Frank Anderson presents below as a “Therapists Are Human, Too” moment.

Three experiences that exemplify what Dr. Frank Anderson discusses below (responses to vicarious trauma) occurred Friday through today (Sunday) for Dr. Juliao:
(1) Meaningful connection with important people in her life.
(2) Rest/sleep through most of her free time.
(3) Immersion into music that speaks to her soul in ways that are healing and soothing.

How do you listen to your body and take care of yourself, both proactively and in response to vicarious trauma?

10/03/2025

This is often the most difficult internalized messaging from childhood to reframe. To heal. The messaging is deeply engrained and permeates all aspects of life. Despite it being challenging, it is possible. Are you ready to do this work? We can help guide you.

When a parent lashes out or withdraws—and never apologizes—the child is left with only one option: “It must be me. I must be the problem.”

And here’s the deeper reason why:

🔹Because the person in power didn’t take responsibility. Someone had to carry the blame, so the child picked it up.

🔹Because if I take responsibility, maybe I can control it. Maybe I can fix it. Maybe I can make sense of a scary world by taking ownership of it.

That’s how shame becomes twofold: I’m wrong, and if I change, maybe I’ll be safe. But that childhood survival strategy doesn’t disappear when we grow up.

🔹It shows up in the workplace, where we apologize for someone else’s temper.

🔹It shows up in relationships, where silence makes us wonder, “What did I do wrong?”

🔹It shows up in friendships, where we blame ourselves for distance we didn’t create.

Shame is what happens when real accountability is missing, and we try to take it on ourselves.

Healing begins when we can name this distortion for what it is—and slowly practice handing responsibility back.

Because safety doesn’t come from carrying the blame.

It comes from connection, repair, and learning that we never had to earn love by fixing what wasn’t ours.

09/30/2025

As we continue to support those in Grand Blanc, and anyone else affected by the devastating event, one of our providers is hosting a FREE virtual space of support this Tuesday (30th) and Thursday (2nd). All are welcome!! Please see the flyers for more information.

If you are seeking individual ongoing support, we also have therapists ready to assist you during this time. Contact us via phone at (248) 957-6444 or via email at admin@mytotalhealth.care.

09/29/2025

Holding space for those in Grand Blanc, the surrounding areas, and anyone affected by today’s tragic event.

If you are seeking support, our local therapists, along with those who offer remote services, are available. Contact us via phone at (248) 957-6444 or via email at admin@mytotalhealth.care.