04/07/2026
Do you know someone with ADHD who struggles with working memory? Working memory is our ability to hold on to information and manipulate and work with that information to solve problems or complete tasks.
For kids, working memory is needed for several daily responsibilities that we as parents may assume our kids should be able to complete without assistance. Let me give some examples.
"Go clean your room!" Do you ever shout this out and then get frustrated when nothing has been done one hour later? Think about everything that goes into this seemingly routine task. To clean your room, you must pick up your clothes and fold them, make your bed, sweep or vacuum, take your cups to the kitchen, pick up toys and stuffies, and more. There are many small steps that our child must remember and hold on to, while completing the initial steps. For kids (and adults!) with ADHD, this task can be too overwhelming or great, and so their brain may shut down. Meaning, your ask doesn't get finished.
Another example would be, "Go finish your homework!" Ok, what all goes into this "one task?" Answer: lots of smaller tasks that must be remembered. Your child has to go find his backpack or folder, look at what is due or what needs to be studied, and then make a plan of attack. Then, they must execute. They have to study spelling words, read for 15 minutes, and do 10 math problems. For some kids, this is no problem by age 8 or so. For others, this is a struggle through high school.
Here's where we as adults can help. We don't want to sit and hold their hand through every step. They've eventually got to learn to manage these things by themselves. We need to teach them how to tackle these routine, but big, projects. For the first example, we can ask them what they need to do to clean their room, and help them WRITE IT DOWN. Repeat after me: WRITE IT DOWN. When a list is made, half of the battle is eliminated - the remembering aspect. The child doesn't have to struggle to recall what is next or what they're forgetting; they can just reference their list and cross off as they go. (Assuming they don't lose said list. 😂) For the second example, we can help them locate their syllabus, set them up for success in a quiet room with the school supplies they need, and again, help them WRITE DOWN A PLAN.
The goal is that eventually, the child can organize enough to create their own plan, with or without the assistance of a written list. We are giving them life skills to work with their ADHD. These are also important skills to hone for our kids who do not have ADHD
Does this sound familiar to you? Have you incorporated something similar with your child? What helps in your family? Tomorrow, I'll be talking about two of my other favorite behavioral tools - timers and calendars!
-Dr. Kelley
P.S. As a quick reminder, our kids with ADHD are some of the best problem solvers, have great imaginations, are incredibly creative, often have wonderful people skills with infectious personalities, and are no less successful than kids without ADHD. Their brains work differently than others, but are no less powerful!
