04/02/2026
I'm always blown away when it comes to grief and how society tries to dictate what grief should look like and how long a person should grieve. As if it's a predictable and organized experience that looks and feels the same for everyone.
But that's not how grief is. Grief is messy. It's unpredictable and everyone will grieve in their own unique way. I think most people expect grief to be incredibly hard in the beginning and right after someone you love dies.
There is a deep sadness, emptiness, shock, and tears. There is a funeral or memorial service to plan and the world slows for just a moment to offer sympathy and hugs.
But the window of sympathy is far shorter than the journey of grief itself. No one is prepared for the grief that shows up when the rest of the world moves on and goes back to normal when your world has completely changed and normal no longer exists. No one prepares you for the endless days and nights without your person and missing them so much it hurts deep into your soul. No one tells you about the deafening silence and loneliness that sucks the air out of every room in your home.
No one tells you how much life will change in both big and small ways. Or how grief steals away the life you thought you were going to live and all the plans you had made. Suddenly, the path you had dreamed of walking is cluttered with confusion and uncertainty. Nothing makes sense and a future that seemed so bright is dark and filled with fear.
Your person is no longer here to share it with you and there will be days when even the thought of their absence is hard to bear. It's not just the big milestone days but also the simplest and most ordinary days that are painfully hard.
So no - grief isn't easy or predictable. And until you experience it yourself, it's incredibly difficult to know just how messy life can be after loss. I also want you to know that the intensity of grief will ease with time and while life won't ever be quite the same, it's possible to find meaning in life again. It takes hard work and intention but it's possible. I know how much your world has changed & I'm here to listen.
With love. Michele
