05/28/2025
When you donāt have a co-parent willing to work with you in the best interest of your kids post-separation/divorce, parallel parenting may be a more accurate term.
This often goes hand in hand with what is called post-separation abuse, where the control, manipulation, and untrustworthy behavior have you may have experienced in your previous relationship with them continues.
There may be shame, embarrassment, and a whole lotta frustration and pain that goes along with this. You may even hear things from people like āitās best to work together for the kidsā or āyou need to set their behavior aside and just get alongā. These kinds of statements further minimize and ignore the other parentās treatment of you, while putting responsibility for their behavior into your lap, even though you have no control over how they choose to act.
The other parent may continue to act like their behavior is because youāre ādifficultā or āuncollaborativeā but you know the truth. There is no such thing as them being a good parent while actively harming their kids other parent(you).
For those going through this, there is hope. There can be joy, peace, and a life on the āother sideā from this horrendous experience. Continue to take care of yourself and your kids how you can, seek support and resources to empower yourself with tools to protect yourself in this process, and know that it is not your fault.
Hold fast. šŖ