01/19/2026
Empathy should never require you to excuse disrespect.
I used to tell myself maybe they are going through something. I said it to soften the hurt and make sense of behavior that did not feel right. I gave people grace before they ever earned it. I explained their actions for them, hoping understanding would turn into respect.
But then I realized something that changed everything. I was going through a lot too. I was tired, overwhelmed, hurting in ways no one could see. And still, I never chose to be cruel. I never made my pain someone else’s problem. I still showed kindness, patience, and basic decency.
That is when it clicked. Struggling does not give anyone permission to mistreat others. Pain explains behavior, but it does not excuse it. There is a difference between having a hard time and choosing to hurt someone because of it.
Learning this taught me to stop over empathizing at my own expense. Compassion is beautiful, but not when it costs you your self respect. You can understand someone’s pain and still decide you do not deserve to be treated that way. And that realization is where boundaries begin.
