Living Resilient Counseling

02/17/2026

The teenage years can feel confusing for both young people and the adults who love them. If your teen seems bigger in emotions, later to sleep, or drawn to risk and independence, you’re not doing anything wrong — you’re seeing a brain in development.

This stage is not about pushing you away, it’s about growing up. Your steady presence, calm boundaries, and understanding of what’s happening beneath the behaviour matter more than ever.

Save this as a reminder that development is not defiance — it’s growth in progress.

02/17/2026

We have a few more openings for our Family Nurture Night in Niceville this Sunday! Register Here: https://www.thepearlproject.org/northwestflorida

02/17/2026

Following today’s series on the five Protective Responses, I wanted to share an additional reflection — one that comes from over 30 years of working in schools and supporting children through dysregulation.

Sometimes, when a child’s flight response is activated and they’re prevented from escaping — being stopped, cornered, or told to stay put — the nervous system shifts into fight.
Not from aggression, but from fear.
When the way out is blocked, the body switches from “I need to get safe” to “I have to defend myself.”

Over the years, I’ve advised schools to create safe spaces to run to, rather than restraining or blocking a child in distress.
A pre-agreed, calm space — where adults know where the child is and can offer quiet supervision — allows the nervous system to regulate before re-engagement.

This can be supported through a simple social story (depending on age and understanding), helping the child know when, how, and where they can take space safely.
When safety is predictable, the need to fight often disappears.

You can also explore our Timeline of a Meltdown visual to understand how these protective responses unfold in real time — printer-friendly A4 portrait and landscape versions available via Linktree Shop in Bio ⬇️

02/17/2026

ℹ️🌿 DOMESTIC ABUSE |
***TRIGGER WARNING***
Domestic abuse is as much about psychological and emotional warfare as it is about physical abuse. It starts long before a hand is raised and the subtle signs begin. Violence isn't the only weapon. Control is the slow poison that uses fear, money, and manipulation to keep you trapped.

Victims do not remain from weakness. Instead, they fall into a web of emotional manipulation, financial pitfalls, and shattered self-worth.

Abusers weave these traps, making escape feel impossible. Soon, your home becomes a battlefield of constant hyper-vigilance. Victims often blame themselves, mistaking staying for weakness. In reality, it is a survival response to complex control.

Breaking free begins with a single realization: all the history and the abuse are not your fault. By reaching out to hotlines, finding therapy, and reclaiming your worth, you begin the journey from victim to survivor. You are not defined by the cage that you were trapped in, but by your courage to leave it behind. The path forward begins with identifying the facts and reaching for a safety net.



Photo: https://unsplash.com/pt-br/

02/15/2026

Shame is a hallmark of CPTSD. It whispers lies: “You’re broken. You’re too much. You’ll never be enough.”
In trauma recovery, reclaiming your story begins by rejecting the shame and labels that were never yours to carry.
You are not “too sensitive.” You are deeply attuned.
You are not “too emotional.” You are human.
You are not "broken." You've been injured.
Learn more about your symptoms and paths to recovery with the PTSD recovery book series: 👉 https://bit.ly/WomensGuidePTSD

02/15/2026

ℹ️🌿 OUR MENTAL HEALTH AND SOCIETY |

Adult survivors of child abuse (whether mental, emotional, physical and/or sexual abuse.) have already been through hell, trying to manage a life of total despair. If some get out of the abusive parental home/or care setting in one piece, they will have more difficulties than others in building their adult life.

Some will fit well into society – workaholism and being forever busy are also trauma responses, which are celebrated, but still, these individuals are left alone to carry their pain. Society doesn’t mind nor care if you are struggling as long as you can play the rat race game, even to the detriment of your health and happiness.

Link to the article in the comments⬇️

02/15/2026

02/15/2026

ℹ️🌿 COMPLETING THE STRESS CYCLE: THE KEY TO TRUE HEALING |

Our bodies are equipped with a natural mechanism called the stress response cycle. When we encounter a stressor, our body prepares to fight, flee, freeze, and fawn. Ideally, once the stressor is gone, our body should complete the cycle by recovering and returning to a state of calm and balance.

However, due to trauma stress a full recovery is interrupted, and add in our fast-paced lives, stressors are constant and pervasive, often leaving our bodies in a state of incomplete stress cycles. CPTSD, with its roots in prolonged trauma and stress, often leaves us feeling trapped in a relentless loop of emotional and physical distress.

Link to the article in the comments⬇️

02/13/2026

ℹ️🌿 THE CONFUSING COMPLEXITY OF RELIGIOUS ABUSE |

Trigger Warning: This post discusses religious trauma and spiritual abuse.
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Reading about Complex-PTSD leaves me with two distinct impressions: (1) I definitely have CPTSD, and (2) I barely relate to any of the examples. How did I get this trauma?

My parents don’t display clear indicators of toxic personality disorders, and their consistent neglect seems minor to me. My physical needs were taken care of, affection was displayed, and despite the issues, my parents were proud of me at times. My father’s lectures and moods were unpleasant, his drinking was limited to a few beers (daily), my mother fell short of fully soothing me when needed, but would still try, and so on.

Nobody at church was directly harming me (seemingly). They all had smiles and superficial presentations of well-being, offered good conversation, and stories of travel.

Link to the article in the comments⬇️

02/10/2026

02/10/2026

You're always reading the room, analyzing tone shifts, replaying conversations for hidden meaning. When someone's text feels slightly off, you spiral through every possible interpretation. When their face changes during a conversation, you're already bracing for rejection.

You notice everything: the pause before they respond, the way they said "fine" instead of "good," the shift in their energy you can't name. It's exhausting to be this alert all the time, but you can't turn it off.

Ask yourself: What am I trying to prevent by staying this vigilant?

The Deeper Question: "If I stop watching for danger, will I miss the signs before it's too late?"

Why This Matters: Hypervigilance in relationships isn't paranoia. It's usually a nervous system that learned early that safety required constant monitoring. Maybe love was unpredictable, or anger came without warning, or you got hurt when you weren't paying attention.

So your brain adapted by becoming an expert threat detector, scanning every interaction for signs that someone's about to leave, get angry, or hurt you. The problem is that this exhausts you and can create the distance you're trying to prevent. This constant scanning shows an old fear that closeness equals danger, or that you're only safe if you see the blow coming.

What to Try: When you catch yourself scanning, ask: "What would it feel like to take this person at face value, just for the next five minutes?" It’s not for forever. Just for now. Practice letting a "fine" be fine without analyzing it. Notice when you're scanning and redirect to what's actually happening rather than what might happen.

Hypervigilance softens when you can trust that you'll handle disappointment if it comes, rather than trying to predict and prevent every possible hurt.

02/10/2026

What it is: Celebrate the moments when you feel safe enough in a relationship to be honest, ask for what you need, or stay present during conflict instead of shutting down or running. These moments show that you trust the relationship enough to show up authentically, and that you trust yourself to handle whatever comes next.

Example scenarios: Staying in a difficult conversation instead of walking away or going silent. Asking your partner for reassurance when you're feeling insecure, instead of testing them or pretending you're fine. Being honest about how something affected you rather than minimizing your feelings to keep the peace. Saying "I need some time to think about this" during conflict instead of exploding or people-pleasing your way through.

Why it works: Emotional security in relationships means you can be yourself without constant fear of rejection or abandonment. When you feel safe enough to be honest or vulnerable, that's evidence that trust exists, both in the relationship and in yourself.

Try this: This week, notice one moment when you felt safe enough to be honest, ask for something, or stay present during difficulty. Pause and acknowledge: "I felt secure enough to do that. That matters."

Reframe this week: Instead of taking these moments for granted, think "Feeling safe enough to be real is something to celebrate. It shows trust is growing."