03/27/2026
Answered by: Shawna Damiani, LPC
Our bodies give us clues to how we feel about a situation. But, if we were told to ignore it or were never taught to pay attention, we may miss opportunities to manage the situation before it creates overwhelm or other intense emotions (e.g., anger, anxiety). When we learn how to listen to our bodies, we can take care of our needs in ways that establish healthier daily functioning.
Understanding Somatic Coherence
Somatic coherence is a term for when you are physically, emotionally, and cognitively aligned. Many times, therapy seeks to change our thoughts (cognition) with the expectation that the other two will follow.
Self-compassion is an example of this.
Self-compassion is normally taught as a brain activity first. We are told, "you have to put your own oxygen mask on first, before you can care for others." Many times, therapy seeks to change a person's thoughts about self-compassion and self-care before practicing physical ways to address these.
However, changing our thoughts is rarely enough to make lasting change. Finding ways to practice physical kindness can reinforce the reframing needed in making long-lasting changes. Thus, we practice physical self-compassion first, then seek to change our thoughts about it.
Physical Self-Compassion Practices
Soothing practices can be found in gentle self-touch. One example is the butterfly hug. This is particularly helpful as it provides bilateral movement, which helps our thinking brain come back online when we've become activated by a person, place, or memory.
Addressing Your Daily Physiological Needs
The most important self-compassion techniques to change, though, are your daily physiological needs, namely: sleep, nutrition, hydration, and movement.
While this is not a 1:1, when these are taken care of, we are much better at managing our emotional needs. Here are some simple (though not necessarily easy) ways to address our physiological needs:
1. Sleep
Progressive muscle relaxation is a good way to address the continued stress and anxiety you may feel at the end of the night, which affects the quality of your sleep.
Start from your toes and work your way up to your head, tensing and releasing muscles in your body. Sometimes you may have to go through 2-3 cycles before you bore yourself to sleep.
2. Nutrition
While I'm not interested in macros, weight gain/loss, or limiting specific foods, I am concerned about a person putting as much good fuel in their bodies as possible.
Just like putting bad gasoline in our vehicles and feeling the effects, there are better fuel choices to help our bodies do what we need.
Also, has anyone else felt hangry before? It's a real thing and shows just how much our bodies need in order to manage daily frustrations.
Start the day with protein in any form you'd like (a drink, eggs, peanut butter on whole grain toast/bagel). Make sure you are eating vegetables, fruits, and whole grains.
Don't like vegetables? Put a jar of spaghetti sauce and a bag/can of mixed veggies in the blender until smooth—all the nutrients without the taste or texture.
3. Hydration
Like food, getting water into our system is important. Use flavored powders, fruit, or add ice to make it colder; whatever helps you consume more water.
Try increasing by one cup/day per week. If you're thirsty, you're already dehydrated, which can show up very similarly to being hangry.
4. Movement
No need to spend 30 minutes in one shot per day. Aim for 10 minutes more per day at something: taking your dog for a walk, wall push-ups, or even shaking your b***y to fast music. Anything that is outside your normal routine and can help you discharge energy pent up from stress/anxiety/trauma.
Adding Yoga for Somatic Self-Compassion
Another way to practice somatic self-compassion is through yoga. You don't have to be an expert or even do it for a long time. Find a 5-10 minute beginner's video that feels comfortable and practice in the morning or before bed.
This helps address tightness in various areas of our bodies, places like our shoulders, back, and legs, where stress tends to land.
Working Through Trauma
Physical kindness begins with understanding the importance of how our bodies are connected to our ability to manage our emotional health. We can begin by addressing our physiological needs and add small practices that show our bodies compassion through times of feeling overwhelmed or other intense emotions.
This can be particularly hard, but necessary, if you have any type of unresolved trauma (e.g., abuse, car accident)—even if it's from sexual trauma. Our bodies store that trauma and respond to any situation that feels just like that one time.
Working through trauma by using somatic self-compassion can be liberating, even as it feels scary. The important thing is to recognize what is a true boundary and what is a trauma response. Seek professional help so that you can begin to heal.
