CaraConnect Counseling

12/23/2025

Awake by Jen Hatmaker is a memoire from the author about the unraveling of a 26-year marriage. Through that, she discussed the grief of reevaluating the cultural and religious systems that created who she was at that point in her life. This is a book using stories from her childhood and events in the present that helped bring about healing and growth during a dark season in her life. This book quotes 3 books I have read and reviewed, Codependent No More by Melody Beattie, The Wisdom of Your Body by Hillary McBride, and one I love called Wintering by Katherine May. At the end of the book Jen identifies questions she is done asking herself and questions she will ask herself. This is a great list for self-reflection and mimics the concept of the Let Them Theory.
Questions I am done asking:
Will this bother someone?
Am I asking too much?
Does he/ she/ they like me?
What is wrong with my body?
Can I handle this?
Should I just be ok with this?
Is it too scary to change this?
Is this making everyone else happy?
Are my needs an imposition?
Am I smart enough?
Am I brave enough?
Am I maintaining my love-ability?
Is God disappointed in me?
Is being alone worse than being unhappy?
Should I keep hiding?

Questions I will ask myself forever:
What do I want?
What do I love?
What do I need?
what does my body know?
Why not me?
What am I excited about?
Am I free?
Who does god say I am?
what do I care about?
How do I want to live?
How can I love beautifully?
Am I being honest?
Am I being true?
Am I happy with me?

12/23/2025

Greenlights by Matthew McConaughey is a diary by the author of lessons learned from his life. This is a lighthearted book with stories, poems and other antidotes; identifying how experiences in his life can be looked at as greenlights, instead of looking at events as red lights. It is an easy and entertaining book that helps the reader look at potentially difficult experiences with a positive spin. If you are an audio book fan, it is read by the author.

11/06/2025

Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times by Katherine May.
"And there it is; that howling experience of the cold and the dark that becomes a crucible. That sense of falling through the crack between two worlds. Void. State of Limbo A wintering". This is such a beautiful book in which May encourages us to change how we look at our own difficult times. She offers a model of the acceptance of sadness and finds healing in retreat and the beauty of winter. She encourages the reader to not only learn how to endure difficult times, but also find how to embrace the opportunities offered. This is a book I will read again and again. I feel personally challenged to find ways to enjoy and appreciate the darker, quieter days.

10/16/2025

At Pathway Community Church, our Care and Support Ministry provides practical help, encouragement, and prayer to individuals and families facing life’s difficulties in Fort Wayne.

10/15/2025

A Well-Trained Wife: My Escape from Christian Patriarchy by Tia Levings. This is a well-written autobiography explaining the author’s experience in a fundamentalist conservative Christian church. She helps the reader understand how she created a belief that to be a good Christian she must follow a list of additional life principles, including secret keeping and the importance of appearances. These principles led to strict discipline and isolation. She hid her abuse from others in order to protect her children. This book may lead to a strong emotional response so please take care of yourself as you read. I cannot wait for the release of her new book in the spring of 2026, entitled "I Belong to Me: A Survivor's Guide to Recovery and Hope after Religious Trauma". This book is a must read.

10/15/2025

Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection by Charles Duhigg is a really good book if you are looking to improve your communication skills. Communication is a superpower and the best communicators understand the different types of conversations: practical, social and emotional. With that knowledge, you can improve the depth of your communication with others. Duhigg uses great examples to really solidify the understanding of supercommunicators. Charles Duhigg is also the author of The Power of Habit. This is a book I have recommended to many clients who are on a quest to change behavior patterns.

10/08/2025

In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction by Gabor Mate is an overview of the epidemic of addiction. This is the third book I have reviewed by Gabor Mate and a really fantastic read. He challenges the reader to humanize those with addiction and shares their story. He looks at his own addictive behaviors and addresses his own journey toward behavior change. He references Dr. Bruce Perry who wrote What Happened to You. If you have a loved one with an addiction, be sure to read Chapter 33 for tips on communicating with someone with addiction.

09/16/2025

I want to add another Podcast to the resource list. The 10% Happier podcast is a refreshing discussion on anxiety and meditation as a mode for managing anxiety. They also talk about modes of treatment they have used in therapy. Give it a listen. It is available for free to listen through the Podcast app.

Dan welcomed his friend, the actor, neuroscientist and podcaster Mayim Bialik, and her co-host Jonathan Cohen to Substack with a live conversation.

09/12/2025

That “Hey, you good?” text could mean more than you know.

A simple check-in could open the door to a life-changing conversation.

Start the conversation. Be the difference.

In need of immediate help, call or text 988. You are not alone. Learn more at nami.org/suicideprevention

#988

09/09/2025

I have mentioned two books by Gabor Mate in the past, but this discussion on attachment and the parent child relationship is great.

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/178rxHS2LE/?mibextid=wwXIfr

I heard something today that felt like someone quietly rearranged the furniture in my soul.

Gabor Maté, in a conversation with Mel Robbins on her podcast, said:
“No two children grow up in the same home. Even with the same parents.”

And he’s right.
By the time each child is born, the people raising them have already changed.
A father may be softer now, or more guarded.
A mother may be freer, or more worn.
The marriage may be blooming… or quietly cracking.
Money might be scarce, or finally enough to breathe.

And then there’s *us*—the children.
We come with different hearts, different fears, different ways of hearing the same words.
One child feels loved in the quiet; another feels abandoned in it.
One thrives under structure; another wilts.
The same hug, the same house, the same parents—yet completely different worlds.

It made me think about the stories we carry.
How we assume we all lived the same childhood because we shared a roof.
But we didn’t.

We were each raised by a different version of our parents… a version shaped by time, by trials, by joy, by fatigue.

And maybe part of growing up - truly growing up - is making peace with this.
To forgive the versions of our parents who couldn’t give more.
To honor the versions who somehow gave anyway.
And to understand that the love was real, even when it looked nothing alike.

Because you see, love isn’t static.
It’s a living thing, it's changing, faltering and blooming; just like the people who give it.

Here’s my video reflection and excerpts of the interview: https://youtube.com/shorts/l3NUPuoX5AM

09/04/2025

This is a great opportunity!

Jump into our next round of Story Groups!

Story Groups, based on Dr. Curt Thompson's Confessional Communities, allow you to compassionately witness and connect with others in their story, as well as your own. This is a powerful experience in healing our attachment wounds and negative core beliefs that hold us back from living life abundantly.

Apply before 9/5 at storyhousecounseling.com.

08/22/2025

So much peace can come from nature. Breathe in the beauty and breathe out the worry.