http://kelciesilvacounseling.com/

Kelcie N. Silva Counseling, 574 Franklin Road, Suite 200, Franklin, TN (2025)

03/03/2023

let's talk inner child...⁣
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when you think about your inner child, how do you feel towards them? do you smile when you think about little you or do you feel frustrated?⁣
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it's common for us to have mixed feelings towards our younger self. our younger self may be the part of us that holds our past wounding. because of that, our younger self may be the part of us that feels big emotions and reacts to them vs. responding to them.⁣
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as much as our inner child may be wounded, there is so much joy and spontaneity that they hold. so, my challenge for you is to tap into the fun, playful side of your inner child. they need it, we need it.⁣
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so, what did you love to do when you were a child? what brought you joy and laughter? name a few things and then do them.⁣
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here are a few examples of things that help you connect to your inner child. so, go play and laugh. connect to little you. ⁣
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02/21/2023

there is a tendency to look at difficult situations through a lens of absolutes vs. looking at the in-between space. I would argue that for some situations, the in-between space is actually the space where truth + understanding lives. if we only focus on the absolutes, we may miss understanding all parts of a situation.⁣
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there are certain situations where absolutes are appropriate and needed. so, while I am not suggesting we never look through that lens, I am offering a suggestion that maybe there are situations where context is beneficial.⁣
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the context of a situation brings an understanding of someone else's experience of the situation, your own experience of a situation, potential reasons for why things happen a certain way, where you or the other person is coming from, etc. ⁣
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while this may give us a chance to find understanding, understanding the context doesn't mean that we dismiss responsibility for situations.⁣
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understanding + responsibility can coexist. you can find understanding for a situation and someone's actions + they can still take ownership of their actions and you take ownership of yours. this doesn't mean that you are dismissing their or your behavior, that it is okay what happened, or that you are agreeing with the other person.

context simply highlights each person's experience of a situation in hopes of us finding healing and repair.

** reminder that this concept is only applied in the context of healthy and safe relationships.
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02/20/2023

anyone else find themselves pausing and thinking about the ebb and flow of life? we move through moments of feeling settled to moments of complete chaos. we experience moments of joy and moments of deep pain. we can experience deep connection and deep loneliness at the same time.⁣
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there are so many opposite experiences that happen simultaneously or so quickly one after another in our lives. it makes complete sense that we would be constantly learning + growing + changing as people. it makes sense that we would feel big emotions, even contradicting emotions at the same time. our experiences shape who we are and can catapult us towards health if we lean into them. ⁣
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as I lean into my own experiences, here are some random thoughts and things I have been learning as of late.⁣
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-- we will never reach complete healing in this lifetime. healing is a journey that we will always be on. best to buckle up and lean in.⁣
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-- understanding yourself and continuing to lean into self-awareness will bring about genuine connection to self + others.⁣
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-- things are not always so linear. sometimes it is important to understand the context of a situation to see the full truth.⁣
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-- the hardest things in life are sprinkled with hope.⁣
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-- humans are resilient. whatever comes our way, we are capable of getting through it.⁣
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hoping you lean into all parts of this life and remember that you are okay and will be okay.⁣
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02/02/2023

just a reminder that your mental health is tied to your physical health!⁣
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when we look at improving our mental health, we need to also consider what we are doing to help our physical health.⁣
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if you are only focusing on one or the other, you are missing half of the equation.⁣
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here are a few ways to help improve your physical health, which in turn helps your mental health!⁣
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01/11/2023

there are so many things that the body, heart, mind + soul is holding. we pick things up along the way as we experience life and life's stressors. the act of releasing the things we need to let go of can feel so difficult and risky.

experiencing a past trauma, a breakup, a recent loss, or a big change may lead to emotions and beliefs being stored in our bodies. everything is connected. stored emotions have the potential of manifesting as health concerns, trouble sleeping or focusing, emotions being closer to the surface, or difficulty in connecting to self/others.

the first place to start in releasing stored emotions is awareness and acknowledging what we are holding.

here is an exercise I use with clients designed to help them identify the physical sensations, emotions, and/or beliefs that are being held and shift them towards a posture of releasing + receiving.

-- start with taking some deep breaths and completing a body scan to help you connect to your whole self

-- be curious. notice if your body is holding any tension/tightness or uncomfortable sensations. notice if there are any specific emotions tied to these sensations. if so, acknowledge what they are.

-- as you acknowledge and sit with these emotions and sensations, ask yourself what situations, events, beliefs, etc. are tied to these sensations.

-- ask what these sensations, emotions, and beliefs need.

-- ask and name what your body needs to release and in return needs to receive.

-- say out loud or to yourself: "I am releasing _______" and "I am receiving _______."

-- end by noticing how your body responds to these statements. what it is like to identify and acknowledge the things you need to release + receive?

this isn't a fix, but simply a place to start. swipe to see some examples of things that may need releasing and receiving!

01/09/2023

the number of times I have heard "new year, new me" in the past week + the number of targeted ads about starting new habits are too many to count.⁣
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anyone else feel exhausted by all of it? now look, I am all about bringing awareness to the things that we can do to create healthy change in our lives, but just the mention of new years resolutions brings up mixed emotions for me.⁣
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the hustle and expectations that come with resolutions has the potential to not only bring about change, but also shame if we don't stick with them or get "off track."⁣
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we live in a world where shame is around every corner for not doing things a certain way or being a certain way. so instead of focusing on setting resolutions, can I offer a new way of approaching this new year?⁣
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what would it be like if you looked at every day as a new opportunity to pause + lean into what your body is communicating it needs?⁣
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it's time to meet ourselves where we are and create gentle + compassionate change. it's time to start listening to our bodies and what they may need today because it may be something different than what it needed yesterday. ⁣
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every day is a new opportunity to create change and grow closer in understanding ourselves and what best meets our needs.⁣
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12/24/2022

Have you ever noticed that when you are around family for the holidays, you start behaving how you did when you were younger?⁣
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"Holiday regression" is a real thing. It is common for family members to start assuming the same roles they did when everyone was living under the same roof.⁣
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You may notice that you become easily bothered by a sibling, run off and go to your room when upset, say things or do things you did when you were younger, or start to take care of everyone else around you.⁣
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Now for the good news! It doesn't have to be this way. You can show up and be your present, authentic self around your family.⁣
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Being mindful about what you are experiencing and intentional with your responses is key.⁣
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Here are a few things to help you avoid falling back into old patterns and roles with your family!⁣
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12/07/2022

Anyone else been feeling exhausted and drained recently?⁣
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If you said yes, you are not alone! This is a common theme that continues to show up regularly in my sessions with clients.⁣
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You are simply one person. You do not have capacity for all things and that is okay! All of us have a limit to how much we can do. Our limits will change based on the day, time of the year, our physical health, our emotional health, etc.⁣
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Be mindful of what your capacity is and what you have space for. Be intentional with how you spend your time and when you say yes + no.⁣
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So here is your permission slip! Give yourself permission to set boundaries based on what your capacity is vs. what you think you should be doing or what others may want you to do.⁣
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12/05/2022

uncertainty.⁣
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what do you do when things in life feel uncertain or unclear? do you embrace it, avoid it, or panic?⁣
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things in life feel uncertain often. whether we are questioning a relationship, considering a career shift, making a potential move, deciding whether we made the best decision, or are having fears about the future.⁣
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𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘄𝗲 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝘂𝗻𝗰𝗲𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗻𝘁𝘆, 𝘄𝗲 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘀𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘂𝗻𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗳𝗲𝗮𝗿. our nervous system can perceive this as us being in danger and therefore shifting us into a heightened state.⁣
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if you are anything like me, you may not like experiencing uncertainty. something i have realized in my feelings of uncertainty, is that i tend to focus on all the things that are not in my control. sound familiar?⁣
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if you said yes, you are not alone. something i have been challenging myself to do in moments of uncertainty is:⁣
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1) acknowledge that i am scared of something. it could be of making the wrong decision, of losing something, of creating change, of making a mistake, etc.⁣
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2) validate my fears. tell myself that it makes sense to fear these things and that it is okay to be scared. there is wisdom in fear.⁣
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3) focus on what is in my control. utilizing my coping skills, reaching out to my support system, taking deep breaths to ease my nervous system, etc.⁣
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4) reminding myself that even though i cannot guarantee what the unknown holds, i trust that i will be okay in the end.⁣
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uncertainty is scary. 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗶 𝗮𝗺 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘂𝗻𝗰𝗲𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗻𝘁𝘆 𝗯𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 𝗮𝗻 𝗼𝗽𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁𝘂𝗻𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗿𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗺𝘆𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝗼𝗻 𝗮 𝗱𝗲𝗲𝗽𝗲𝗿 𝗹𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗹. so, in moments of uncertainty, lean in. it's okay to sit with your uncertainty. you will be okay. ⁣
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12/02/2022

just a reminder. grief isn't linear. our grief changes as we change and experience new things.⁣
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it is okay if your grief looks different this year than it did last year.⁣
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it is okay if you find yourself grieving over new things this year than last year. it is okay if you are grieving over things this year that felt okay last year. it is okay if grief feels lighter this year. it is okay if grief feels heavier this year.⁣
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grief can change. grief is fluid. our grief changes as we grow and heal. sometimes healing opens us up to processing and grieving new parts of our loss that we were not ready for last year.⁣
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if you experience this, just know it is normal.⁣
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11/23/2022

just a reminder to check in with yourself this holiday.

holidays can bring with them a lot of mixed emotions. whether it is grief, longing, loneliness, joy, or frustration. whatever emotions come up for you is okay.

be curious and lean in. ask yourself what your experience is and what you need. meet your needs in whatever way you feel is needed. your experiences and needs matter.

here are some reflection questions to bring awareness to your experience this holiday. you can journal through them, meditate on them, or process them with someone.

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11/21/2022

The holiday season can bring a lot of pressure-- for traditions to be upheld, to have a certain amount of family time, for everything to go a certain way, and expectations to be managed.⁣
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Feeling the pressure from the holiday season and the expectations that come with it, can shift us into focusing on the following:⁣
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〰 meeting other people's expectations and needs⁣
〰 trying to make everything perfect⁣
〰 decorating a certain way or cooking the same food as in past years⁣
〰 upholding traditions that do not feel true to us anymore⁣
〰 trying to see + spend time with people out of obligation⁣
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I don't know about you, but that feels so draining and exhausting!⁣
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𝗦𝗼 𝗶𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗱, 𝗜 𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘁𝗼 𝗮𝘀𝗸 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗳𝗼𝗰𝘂𝘀 𝗼𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱𝘀!⁣
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〰 𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙞𝙨 𝙞𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙩𝙧𝙤𝙡? You are not responsible for other people and their emotions. You can only control yourself and how you show up. It's okay if things do not go as planned or someone else becomes upset. Focus on what you can do to help yourself and the situation without taking on the other person's expectations/emotions.⁣
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〰 𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙙𝙤 𝙄 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙘𝙖𝙥𝙖𝙘𝙞𝙩𝙮 𝙛𝙤𝙧? You cannot do everything. Set boundaries and be intentional with your yes and no. Take time for yourself if needed and find things that help energize you vs. drain you.⁣
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〰 𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙢𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙢𝙤𝙨𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙚 𝙙𝙪𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙝𝙤𝙡𝙞𝙙𝙖𝙮 𝙨𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙤𝙣? Honor yourself and the things that you value during this time of the year. Whether it's family time, seeing old friends, resting, having time alone, or giving back in some way, focus on these things instead of exhausting expectations.⁣
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Kelcie N. Silva Counseling

03/03/2023

02/21/2023

02/20/2023

02/02/2023

01/11/2023

01/09/2023

12/24/2022

12/07/2022

12/05/2022

12/02/2022

11/23/2022

11/21/2022

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