10/31/2025
The medicine told me to let go of my husband. I divorced him 4 years later.
The medicine showed me: we came together to create children. That was our contract. Not staying together. But the conditioning ran too deep.
I watched my mother stay with my father for 50 years in an unhappy marriage “for the kids.” The belief that I had to self-sacrifice so my children could have a “full home.” That keeping everyone warm meant throwing myself in the fire. That my happiness came last—always.
For 4 years, I clung. I compromised my beliefs, my core values, my truth—all to avoid “losing my family,” that blanket of safety and deep generational conditioning.
It took me all those years to finally apply for divorce. Not because I loved him and wanted to stay. But because my mother’s fears echoed in my head: “How will you take care of yourself without him?” “He’s not a bad dad—at least he doesn’t have any addictions.” “He’s supporting you financially.” Sacrifice yourself for the comfort of your kids.
I had to break what she couldn’t. She couldn’t leave my father—the fears were too strong. But I knew I couldn’t let my daughter repeat the same pattern. The only way to stop it was to leave. To face the fears. To walk through the conditioning.
After ceremony, everything felt different. My marriage felt hollow. The life I built felt like someone else’s. I thought something was wrong with me. I was actually seeing clearly for the first time.
You can SEE the truth and still not be ready to LIVE it. That’s human. The medicine was patient. It kept showing me until the truth became louder than the conditioning.
Some people move in days. Some in months. It took me 4 years. There’s no right timeline for unlearning generations of self-abandonment.
Save this if you need to come back to it when you’re ready. Share it with someone who needs permission to move at their own pace.
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