Dianna Alvidres MA LPC, MA Marriage & Family Therapy

04/21/2024

"Present Over Perfect" by Shauna Niequist is a book that encourages readers to prioritize presence, connection, and authenticity over the pursuit of perfectionism and busyness.

Here are 10 key lessons from the book:

1. Embrace imperfection: Niequist emphasizes the importance of embracing imperfection and letting go of the relentless pursuit of perfection. Accepting imperfection allows for greater authenticity and freedom.

2. Prioritize presence: Instead of constantly striving for productivity and achievement, prioritize being present in the moment. Cultivate mindfulness and awareness in everyday experiences, fostering deeper connections with yourself and others.

3. Set boundaries: Establishing boundaries is essential for protecting your time, energy, and well-being. Learn to say no to commitments that don't align with your values and priorities, allowing space for what truly matters.

4. Simplify your life: Simplifying your life involves decluttering physical spaces, commitments, and distractions. By reducing unnecessary complexity, you create room for greater clarity, focus, and peace of mind.

5. Nurture relationships: Invest time and energy in nurturing meaningful relationships with family, friends, and community. Genuine connections are essential for emotional support, belonging, and fulfillment.

6. Practice self-care: Prioritize self-care and self-compassion as essential components of well-being. Take time to rest, recharge, and engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment.

7. Cultivate gratitude: Cultivating a mindset of gratitude helps shift focus from what's lacking to what's abundant in life. Regularly express gratitude for the blessings and opportunities present in each day.

BOOK : https://amzn.to/43ZdKAM

You can also get the AUDIO BOOK for FREE using the same link. Use the link to register for the AUDIO BOOK on Audible and start enjoying it.

04/02/2024

When you love someone, you do not love them all the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. It is an impossibility. It is even a lie to pretend to. And yet this is exactly what most of us demand.
We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb. We are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity; when the only continuity possible, in life as in love, is in growth, in fluidity - in freedom, in the sense that the dancers are free, barely touching as they pass, but partners in the same pattern.

The only real security is not in owning or possessing, not in demanding or expecting, not in hoping, even. Security in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what was in nostalgia, nor forward to what it might be in dread or anticipation, but living in the present relationship and accepting it as it is now.
Relationships must be like islands, one must accept them for what they are here and now, within their limits - islands, surrounded and interrupted by the sea, and continually visited and abandoned by the tides.

~ Anne Morrow Lindbergh
Artist: Margarita Sikorskaia

Empower Wholeness Intimacy
https://EmpowerWholeness.com

04/02/2024

8 Lessons from "This Is Me Letting You Go" by Heidi Priebe

1. The book encourages accepting that some relationships, however cherished, may not be meant to last forever. It's okay to let go with love.

2. Letting go, even if painful, allows you to free yourself and open doors to new possibilities and healthier relationships.

3. The book emphasizes finding gratitude for the positive experiences shared in past relationships, even if they haven't lasted.

4. Letting Go Doesn't Have to Be Dramatic: It's a gradual process. You might find yourself letting go in small ways, like avoiding their favorite store or song, until you've fully released them.

5. Focus on self-compassion and activities that nourish your well-being as you navigate the emotional challenges of letting go.

6. Not All Love Stories End in Happily Ever After: "This Is Me Letting You Go" acknowledges that some connections, while meaningful, don't have a fairy-tale ending. It's okay to accept that reality.

7. Letting go can be a catalyst for personal growth. It allows you to discover your own strength and resilience.

8. By releasing what no longer serves you, you create space for new connections and experiences that may be a better fit for who you are now.

Book: https://amzn.to/3J1Afvk

You can also get the audio book for freee. Use the same link to register for the audio book on audible and start enjoying it

03/31/2024

03/26/2024

10 Heartwarming Lessons From "Present Over Perfect": Your Invitation to Breathe Deeply

1. Perfection is a mirage, chasing it leaves you parched. Shauna Niequist, the author, invites us to ditch the airbrushed ideal and embrace our beautifully flawed selves. It's a call to self-compassion, a radical act of love that paves the way for true connection.

2. Busyness is a thief, it steals the present moment. Remember that perfect sunset you missed while checking notifications? This book gently reminds us to slow down, savor the simple, and rediscover the magic hidden in everyday moments.

3. Saying "no" is saying "yes" to your soul. We often wear busyness as a badge of honor, but "Present Over Perfect" dares us to set boundaries. It's about honoring our energy, protecting our inner space, and creating room for what truly matters.

4. Connection is the antidote to isolation. The book paints a poignant picture of our wired yet lonely world. It nudges us to cultivate authentic connections, to share messy meals and vulnerable conversations, reminding us that belonging is our birthright.

5. Creativity is a wellspring of joy, not a chore. Remember the unbridled joy of childhood scribbles? This book rekindles that spark, urging us to embrace creativity as a source of renewal, not another item on the list.

6. Vulnerability is the key to intimacy. Sharing our true selves, flaws and all, feels risky. But "Present Over Perfect" shows us the vulnerability breeds connection, paving the way for deeper, more meaningful relationships.

7. Gratitude is a superpower, shifting our perspective. We often get caught in the comparison trap, but this book reminds us of the power of gratitude. By acknowledging the good, we shift our focus, finding magic in the ordinary.

8. Rest is not a luxury, it's a necessity. In a world that glorifies hustle, this book is a battle cry for rest. It reminds us that slowing down, nourishing our bodies and minds, is essential for living a full and vibrant life.

9. Faith is a personal journey, not a destination. Whether you have religious beliefs or not, "Present Over Perfect" invites us to connect with something bigger than ourselves. It's about finding meaning and purpose, a source of strength beyond the everyday.

10. You are enough, exactly as you are. This is the most powerful lesson of all. The book doesn't offer a quick fix, but a gentle nudge towards self-acceptance. It whispers, "You are loved, worthy, and enough, just as you are."

Dear friend, are you ready to trade the frantic for the soulful? To step off the hamster wheel and into the present moment? If so, I recommend "Present Over Perfect"!

BOOK: https://amzn.to/3TwAiEb

You may get to ENJOY the AUDIOBOOK for FREE (When you register for Audible Membership Trial) using the same link above.

03/12/2024

10 lesson fro "Nothing Is Worth More Than This Day.": Finding Joy in Every Moment

Lesson 1: Embrace the present moment

"One of the greatest lessons we can learn in life is to fully embrace the present moment. Each day is a gift, and by being present, we can find joy and gratitude in even the simplest of moments."

Lesson 2: Let go of expectations

"Often, our expectations can rob us of the joy that each day holds. By letting go of expectations and embracing what unfolds, we open ourselves up to new experiences and opportunities for happiness."

Lesson 3: Practice gratitude

"Cultivating a practice of gratitude can shift our perspective and help us find joy in every moment. Take time each day to reflect on what you are grateful for, no matter how big or small."

Lesson 4: Find beauty in the ordinary

"There is beauty to be found in the most ordinary moments of life. Whether it's the warmth of a morning cup of coffee or the sound of laughter with loved ones, seek out and appreciate the beauty in the everyday."

Lesson 5: Be mindful of self-care

"Taking care of ourselves is crucial in finding joy in every moment. Make time for self-care activities that bring you happiness and recharge your spirit, whether it's reading a book, going for a walk, or practicing a hobby."

Lesson 6: Surround yourself with positivity

"The people we surround ourselves with greatly impact our overall happiness. Seek out positive, uplifting relationships and create a supportive network that encourages you to find joy in every moment."

Lesson 7: Practice mindfulness meditation

"Meditation can help us cultivate mindfulness and be fully present in each moment. By practicing mindfulness meditation, we can train our minds to let go of distractions and find joy in the here and now."

BOOK: https://amzn.to/3UAPYZk

You can also get the audio book for free using the same link, as far as you are registered on the Audible Platform.

03/11/2024

Here are 10 lessons from the book "Be Water, My Friend" by Bruce Lee:

1. Embrace Adaptability and Flexibility: Lee emphasizes the importance of being like water, which can conform to any shape. This translates to remaining adaptable and open to change in various aspects of life, adjusting one's approach based on the situation.

2. Foster Lifelong Learning: Lee advocates for a continuous learning mindset, encouraging individuals to actively seek knowledge and refine their understanding of the world. He believed growth and improvement are lifelong journeys.

3. Cultivate Inner Strength and Resilience: Drawing inspiration from water's ability to withstand various pressures, Lee emphasizes the importance of developing inner strength and resilience. This allows individuals to face challenges and overcome obstacles effectively.

4. Embrace the Flow and Spontaneity: Similar to the concept of "water dancing" in martial arts, Lee encourages individuals to embrace spontaneity and flow with the moment. This fosters a sense of adaptability and allows for creative problem-solving in dynamic situations.

5. Seek Harmony in Duality: Lee highlights the value of finding balance between seemingly opposing qualities. He emphasizes the importance of integrating both power and finesse, assertiveness and empathy, action and reflection, for a well-rounded approach to life.

6. Celebrate Individuality: Lee encourages individuals to embrace their unique qualities and express their authentic selves. This resonates with the diverse forms water can take, highlighting the value of individuality over conformity.

7. Live with Authenticity: Lee advocates for living authentically, following one's own path, pursuing passions, and expressing oneself with honesty and integrity. He believed that authenticity leads to a fulfilling and meaningful life.

8. Embrace the Value of Emptiness: Lee emphasizes the importance of not clinging rigidly to ideas or possessions. He encourages openness to new possibilities and experiences, similar to how water fills a container without being attached to it. This fosters a sense of liberation and adaptability.

9. See Challenges as Opportunities for Growth: Lee encourages individuals to view obstacles and challenges as opportunities for growth and learning. He highlights the idea that persistence, like water carving through rock, can overcome any obstacle.

10. Practice Mindfulness and Live in the Present: Lee emphasizes the importance of being present and mindful. He encourages individuals to avoid dwelling on the past or worrying about the future, just as water flows freely in the present moment. This fosters a sense of peace and clarity.

Book: https://amzn.to/3P5udgo

You can get the AUDIOBOOK for FREE (When you register for Audible Membership Trial) using the same link above.

03/07/2024

Here are 10 key lessons from Susan Cain's book "Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole":

1. The Power of the Bittersweet: There is profound beauty and significance in experiences tinged with sadness, melancholy, and longing. These emotions are not negative but offer depth and connection to the human experience.

2. Embracing a Bittersweet Disposition: Many people have a natural inclination toward bittersweet feelings. Recognizing and valuing this temperament is important, rather than trying to suppress it in favor of relentless positivity.

3. The Connection Between Sadness and Beauty: We often find deep beauty in things that evoke sadness – minor key music, poignant art, the changing of seasons. These experiences trigger a sense of connection and transcendence.

4. Longing as a Catalyst: Longing, rather than being passive, is a powerful force that can inspire creativity, personal growth, and a striving for a better world.

5. Transforming Loss through Action: When we experience loss, taking action based on what matters to us can help us move from the bitterness of grief towards a sweeter sense of purpose and meaning.

6. The Importance of Impermanence: Acknowledging the fleeting nature of life can deepen our appreciation for the precious moments we have, both joyful and sorrowful.

7. Bittersweetness and Spirituality: The bittersweet temperament aligns with a feeling of spiritual longing, a desire for something greater than ourselves, even if we don't subscribe to traditional religious beliefs.

8. Collective Longing: Sharing our bittersweet experiences connects us to others, reminding us of our shared humanity and the universal nature of longing and loss.

9. The Rejection of Toxic Positivity: Our culture's relentless pressure towards constant happiness can be harmful. Embracing a bittersweet perspective allows for a more authentic and holistic view of life.

10. Finding the Sweet within the Bitter: Difficult experiences can lead to growth, wisdom, and increased empathy. Bittersweetness reminds us that joy and sorrow, light and dark, are forever intertwined.

Book: https://amzn.to/48HNtrg

You can get the AUDIOBOOK for FREE (When you register for Audible Membership Trial) using the same link above.

03/07/2024

Here are 10 lessons from the book "Good Boundaries and Goodbyes" by Lysa TerKeurst:

1. Healthy Boundaries for Emotional Well-being: The book emphasizes that establishing healthy boundaries is not about isolation but safeguarding one's emotional well-being by setting clear and appropriate limits for emotional access in various relationships. This fosters healthier and more sustainable interpersonal connections.

2. Reciprocity in Relationships: TerKeurst introduces the concept of reciprocity, proposing that the level of emotional access granted in a relationship should directly correspond to the level of responsibility and respect demonstrated by the other individual. This principle encourages fairness and mutual respect within relationships.

3. Discerning Between Challenges and Destructive Patterns: The book equips readers with the ability to differentiate between temporary difficulties within a relationship and destructive patterns that necessitate stronger boundaries or potentially even termination of the relationship. This discernment is crucial for making informed decisions about interpersonal interactions.

4. Goodbyes as an Act of Care: TerKeurst challenges the negative connotations often associated with goodbyes in relationships. She reframes them as acts of self-care and, in certain circumstances, even acts of love. This perspective emphasizes prioritizing personal well-being while acknowledging complex relationship dynamics.

5. Asserting "No" and Setting Clear Expectations: The book empowers individuals to confidently and respectfully assert "no" when necessary and to clearly communicate expectations for healthy interactions. This fosters clarity, minimizes misunderstandings, and promotes mutual respect within relationships.

6. Forgiveness and the Importance of Memory: TerKeurst acknowledges the importance of forgiveness in fostering personal growth and healing. However, she emphasizes that forgetting may not always be a realistic or even beneficial expectation, particularly in situations involving significant emotional harm.

7. Constructive Communication and Conflict Resolution: The book emphasizes the importance of constructive communication and employing healthy conflict resolution strategies to address challenges within relationships. This approach facilitates open and respectful dialogue, fostering understanding and potentially finding solutions to maintain healthy connections.

8. Boundaries as Protection for the Best Self: Establishing healthy boundaries is presented as a way to protect one's emotional well-being, mental health, and overall energy. This, in turn, allows individuals to show up as their best selves in other aspects of life, fostering more positive and fulfilling experiences.

9. Empowering Individuals to Set Boundaries: Ultimately, the book empowers individuals to take ownership of their boundaries and prioritize their well-being. It encourages them to make conscious choices about their interactions and create a supportive and healthy environment for themselves.

10. Professional and Respectful Relationships: By establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries, individuals can cultivate professional and respectful relationships in various settings, fostering collaboration, trust, and mutual understanding.

These ten key insights offer a professional and comprehensive overview of the core takeaways from "Good Boundaries and Goodbyes" by Lysa TerKeurst. They emphasize the importance of setting and maintaining healthy boundaries for emotional well-being, navigating complex relationship dynamics, and fostering positive and respectful interactions in diverse contexts.

Book: https://amzn.to/4c3Potl

You can get the AUDIOBOOK for FREE (When you register for Audible Membership Trial) using the same link above.