02/01/2025
Let’s talk about hair. On women. I have lost count of how many times a woman has apologized to me during a massage because they hadn’t shaved, or most recently- had hair near their sacrotuberous ligament (aka, butt).
I give them all the same speech to help combat this shame we have internalized about women needing to present in a certain way to be valid as a woman. I was working with an older woman a couple weeks ago who was really struggling seeing rights feminists of her time had fought for being taken away. Then she apologized for not shaving her legs that day, and I launched into my speech. She struggled with the idea that it was a valid choice to be a woman and be hairy. She held simultaneous views that women had certain political rights and had a duty to be “feminine”. Femininity and hair were mutually exclusive to her. I was gentle in my response, you know, grateful for her work for rights that are important to women, and also wanting her to be able to receive my message. It went fine, and she understood where I was coming from (not sure if I radically changed her views, but maybe opened the window a crack).
I think it’s important for us, me included, to examine the ways we have internalized misogyny. Important to reflect on our beliefs, where they come from, and if they really feel in alignment with who we are. Do I really believe this thing? What freedom could I possibly feel if I didn’t believe this thing?
So, please stop apologizing to your massage therapist for having hair in places society has taught you should be smooth. We love our clients, hair and all 🫶🏼
(Photo: Refinery29)