11/11/2025
Figuring out how to split holidays once you’re married or starting your own family traditions can feel overwhelming at times. You’re trying to honor where you came from, while also building something new that feels right for you both.
How can you and your partner find a balance that doesn’t leave either of you stretched thin or resentful?
Try sitting down before the holidays talk through things like:
- Which traditions actually mean something to each of you (not just the ones done out of guilt or habit).
- What parts you could blend, like rotating Thanksgiving between families, or hosting one holiday that combines both sides.
- Which ones you want to start fresh, like your own quiet Christmas Eve at home or a New Year’s Day breakfast that’s just for your little family.
For some couples, it helps to literally map out the year, circle the major holidays and write next to each: “this family,” “that family,” “ours,” or “undecided.” Revisit it every year and see what worked. Even this may stir up emotions within your relationship, compromise is key.
When it comes time to set those boundaries, small changes in language make a big difference. Instead of, “We’re not coming this year,” try, “We’ve decided to start a new tradition at home this year, but we’d love to come for brunch next weekend.” You can honor both your family and your sanity. It’s normal if parents or siblings get emotional when traditions shift, it’s their way of adjusting, too. Just stay grounded in what feels healthy for your relationship and your new family.
This season, start new traditions.
#2025
