11/20/2025
You know the pattern, one partner says, “I don’t know how to do that” or “You’re just better at it than I am,” or even the pattern of a plate or glass being broken every single time the dishes are done, and suddenly the other partner is carrying all the emotional and practical load. Over time, it breeds resentment, burnout, and emotional distance.
So what can you do?
✨ Name it. Gently but clearly describe the behavior and its impact (“When you say you can’t do it, I feel alone in managing things”).
✨ Hold boundaries. Resist the urge to “just do it yourself.” Shared responsibility means shared learning.
✨ Invite accountability. Ask for follow-through, not perfection. Growth happens when both people stay engaged.
✨ Stay curious. Sometimes this behavior stems from anxiety, fear of failure, or learned helplessness not malice. Understanding the “why” helps guide repair.
Relationships thrive when both partners contribute, learn, and support each other’s competence not when one carries the weight of two. Sometimes it might being exploring strengths instead of focusing on weaknesses. If you can't find the strengths or there is an unwillingness to find them, a larger and deeper conversation of why might be needed in therapy. 💛
