Dr. Melinda Phoenix

05/06/2022

04/29/2022

I am healing. I am healed. I am healing. I am healed.

This weekend is potent. Several of my deepest friends are coming together (flying in, driving far, taking valuable time) and bringing it to me—to cultivate healing.

Earth shattering news appeared in January: that the treatments from the last 4 years were unsuccessful for Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.

I found out that I hit the “end of the line” of what they can offer me to for curing.

I now am doing treatments to just give me more time. I now have a timeline of life—somewhere between months to 2 years.

The reality of this has been terrifying and also a blessing. How many people get the chance to really know that NOW is the time to truly live and love? To do the things you have been waiting to do.

My world is now completely focused around creating as much quality time with my kids as can be accessed. Nothing else matters to me anymore but them—their current and future wellbeing.

Having death be so present, I have been reflecting on my life and the incredible people I have got to know and love. I feel so very blessed for all of our moments together; of how much love I’ve been able to feel in this lifetime.

Of course I still am working on following any energy trails that will lead me to staying alive longer. This weekend is focused on this—and I am so very grateful to have such a strong soul-tribe that dropped everything to make this weekend happen.

Thank you all for how you’ve touched my life. Thank you for being here for me now.

Help me write this new story? The one where I heal from this and am able to share with others how I did it: that is my goal.

Please come to my Patreon page (link below) which is the way I’m able to breathe through this experience (as no social/government assistance has yet worked out…which brings up so much in me around the pain of knowing so many are in my shoes yet don’t have a community like ours to keep someone upright when they can’t for themselves).

I could use your hand these days. I’ve been deeply struggling. I need my people right now to get me through this.

Patreon is a record of the journey I’ve been on, and the journey yet to come.

Help write it with me?

https://www.patreon.com/AwakenHealer

10/21/2021

These days I am doing a balancing act between retuning to my old life and being humbled by the reality that I’m just not quite “there” yet.
I’m still healing. My lungs are working through injury from the last session of chemo. Daily steroids, and herbal medicine, are my current tickets to heal these breathing friends within me.
But daily I am getting more tastes of life again. A new life, actually. I have new eyes to see the blessings around me. I have new hands to touch my children’s soft golden hairs. I have a new mind that is grateful for each new step I get to take.
One major blessing is that I’m slowly working my way back to my patients. I am there two days a week now and each day I feel like such a lucky human to do something I love to do so fiercely.
Thank you for being my friends, my family, the community around me that has held me up through these last two years.
I love you.

07/25/2021

Healing is a spiral journey, and not linear. There are days where you feel good and then days that feel like a set back but are actually just time to again rest and rejuvenate.

You have to trust the process, even if the process is scary.

I miss my life—the life in which I take charge and push through all obstacles for my goals and life missions.

Being forced to focus on myself has been hard, but if it’s something I ask my patients to do than I need to do it as well.

So here I am—in the healers journey. I’m hurt, vulnerable and exposed and just trying to make the best out of what I can in each moment.

I hope you can feel my story and allow it to reflect into your own: to either more deeply appreciate your high points or to more easily accept and navigate the low points.

I hope my journey can help, in some way. It’s my hope it’s not just for me, but for those who surround me as well.

Thanks for choosing to be here with me, holding my hand through it all.

07/14/2021

I give thanks for arriving
Safely in a new dawn,
For the gift of eyes
To see the world

The gift of mind
To feel at home
In my life

The waves of possibility
Breaking on the shore of dawn,
The harvest of the past
That awaits my hunger

And all the furtherings
This new day will bring.

—“On Waking”, John O’Donohue

07/13/2021

07/13/2021

My Dear Patients,

It has been quite the journey, these last few months. I needed to write you to let you know how very much you are missed in my life. Each one of you bless my life in your very own unique way. Not having you in my weekly or bi-weekly world has been quite the loss, truly.

Currently, I am stationed at UCSF for the final stage of my treatments! I received a heavy dose of chemotherapy and was given back my very own stem cells and bone marrow (that had been collected before this last chemo). Today I even started to get my white blood cell count up, which means I am only on the up-and-up from here. All good things.

For now I will continue to heal and I know you are in great hands with Dr. Wendy at the clinic. For those of you who haven't experienced her yet, I highly recommend grabbing an appointment with her while you can! She’s quite the gem.

For those who would like to keep a close tie on my story, I have a Patreon page now where I am placing my writings and musings on my experience with cancer, having to leave my clinic and patients, and the blessings that continue to abound the deeper I surrender into this experience.

Patreon link: https://www.patreon.com/AwakenHealer

Wishing you all the very best, I am dreaming about the day I will see your face and spirit again—to continue the sacred work together that we do.

Dr. Meli Phoenix

(Oh yeah, and I am going by “Meli” now, as Melinda is the “serious” side of me and Meli feels like the playful, spirited-me. More on that in a Patreon post soon) ☺️🌟

07/03/2021

Day 3 of 30. I will be here to receive the medicine and journey of chemotherapy. I will be here to listen to my body and give it what it needs.

I will be here to usher in a new me, by allowing the old parts of me to die that haven’t been working for some time now.

I will be here to deepen my connection to all of you—who stand besides me when I’m walking through the dark nights of the Soul.

And I will be here to usher in a sense of peace, a retreat-like mindset—so that I can truly take my level of showing up for my own healing to new heights.

Connect with me through my Patreon or GoFundMe—where I can share more unfiltered than through this platform to share my nuggets of learning and growing through the medium Guru of cancer.

Links below👇✨

🌿🦋🧝🏼‍♀️🌙

07/01/2021

Baby Groku and I are back in the saddle again. Hair is coming back now too!

5 days of intensive chemo, followed by a month to recover in the hospital, then another month of 24/7 in-home care by amazing friends and family to pull me through this FINAL stage of chemo.

I’ve been really scared lately…the type that breaks you down in a pile of girly-tears. But now I feel strong, and I feel I will get through this.

My babies are a big factor in this strength—I cannot imagine a world where I leave them behind so young; so for me there is no other choice than to survive.

Thank you to all of you, near and far, and how much you show up for me. The messages, cards, words of support. All of it is perfect.

With that said, I need your help: I had budgeted my funds to last me 6 months, not knowing it would be 6 months AFTER this last round where I can go back to work.

I have my GoFund and Patreon links below—can you share them for me with your friends and family? I need this last push so that I can put the financial stressors of survival behind me so I can focus solely on healing through this.

Thank you team—I couldn’t do all of this without you; knowing I have you by my side is what keeps me feeling strong.

06/17/2021

Creekside Healing Village is my gift to humanity—it is the part of me that will exist beyond my own life. It brings dreams to life; a place where deep healing and soul revival happens.

When I get the chance to come back here, to see what we have created, to give back all you have given and supported me through, my heart and soul feel full and I feel like the health journey I am on is worth it—for I’m going through my own sacred healing journey now, and know this space is my northern light to bring me back home.

My journey is teaching me how to truly listen to my intuition. It’s teaching me how to be humble myself through truly tasting and feeling into the vulnerability of mortality.

✨I am seeing energetic grids that I’ve never yet been able to gain access to—due to you holding me whilst I traverse in this world beyond✨

I’ve been able to still do healing ‘work’ on those closest to me these days, I’ve been able to do movement and healing with my own body as well; the ways in which I can see and feel the energy within me is, truly, blowing my world apart: all that I think I knew and what I know now.

I promise I will make it through this final stage of treatment. I could not say that just two weeks ago. I know I’ll be gaining more lessons through this final stage that will only make our sacred healing work even better, even deeper, even more holy than ever before.

Thank you—to all of my patients, my friends, my community and my family who are still right here with me, breathing life and lending soul-filled hands for me to hold through this all.

I feel seen, I feel held. This path is sacred, and it is safe for me to journey through your eyes and heart being with me.

Aho 🌿🌙✨

P.s: I have recently opened the new area of my life of Sacred Healing through art. Through the medium of colors, and our collaboration, we are able to touch souls with healing codes built to heal us both. Follow me on patreon to receive your own art, and in turn it will allow me to stay in tune with sacred gifts, and gives me the financial breathing room to get through this final stage of my healing journey. Link below in comments ✨

06/13/2021

Art has come back to my life.

In between days that seem to be bookended by when I take handfuls of pills, and after I am able to dis-attach from home IV infusions, I have been finding myself in the garage--my new art studio.

I am making art again because I am making it for others--I tend to find that if I am doing something for someone else, more parts of me come to life and activate. But, I know I am also doing the art for myself--to re-find myself through creative lenses.

My mental faculties are not what they used to be, these days. I know my mind will come back to me, but for now, friends tell me about conversations we had days before..and I have no recollection of even seeing them; that is scary.

I cannot study, and I can hardly write or read. I used to start every day by reading around an hour, and I only would cut myself short due to me needing to get on with my meditation for the day of patients. I would focus deeply on each patient to see what was needed--what to add to the treatment, what may be missing...to find the deeper energetic story of their condition.

Nowadays I have people who are showing up to receive art from me, by being a “supporter” on my patreon. Instead of trying to find the perfect succinct sentence--perfectly distilled to bring a spark to another mind, I now do it through art.

Instead of meditating on the days work at the clinic...through acupuncture, sound tools, and healing hands--I am doing it through the medium of canvas and paint for my people.

I now focus on the person, wrapping my whole heart around them. I call in their essence and feel into their health. I see what colors are needed, and I weave them on the canvas as a healing token. I then infuse the paint with sound frequencies that are etched into the art as it dries. This is my offering… this is the way that I can show up still as a healer, as a medicine woman, and as a girl who is trying to heal her own heart...to heal for her own journey of being on this planet.

This planet which allows us to feel so deeply--to love fully and openly and to then hurt deeply as it is taken away from you. To watch sunrises and sunsets and realize how short of a flicker we all have to share with one another. To yearn to share those moments with the ones you love, and to learn to only share them with those who can co-create joy with you, to share it with those who are worth sharing it with.

Everyday I still wake up grateful for life...nay...everyday I wake up even more grateful than I did the day before. This is a gift I have been given--to stop time for a moment and to assess. To assess what I need to change and how I can better show up, for the child inside of me and for those who matter.

Thank you, if you are one of the special ones whom are showing up for me during this dark night of the soul. Thank you to those special ones who hold my hand when I am weak, and those who love me from afar. Thank you to all of you who have touched my life and have molded me into the living, breathing person I am today.

What would this world be, without those we love? Not one I would want to exist within.

Here are some recent art I’ve made for these special loves in my life.

Onward Ho!

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Would you like an art piece hand-crafted by my soul, for you? Come join me on Patreon--making art for you would bless my life, and I hope it would bless yours too.

Patreon Link is below in comments👇✨

05/27/2021

It’s 3am and I am thinking about all of the people I love. I sift through people that matter to me, the people whom I love deeply.

There are a whole lot.

My heart, it overflows with abundance of feeling...it has so much to give and to share.

For most of my life I learned how to hold back my expression of love—afraid of the magnitude of its capacity. It’s affect can have negative consequences (from other’s fear and mistrust of love—to its innocence and pure sharing being misinterpreted).

This last year has held 5 major intentions for me; one of them is to consciously allow my love to flow. To trust love as it comes to me. To remain open to love.

Big feelings used to scare me, that’s why academia has been my safe haven for so long—it’s reliable with its structures and set of rules.

But love doesn’t know rules or structure, and sometimes it can sideline and pummel me to the ground with its intensity.

Last night, as I watched the moon turn red in its eclipse, the message that continued to repeate was:

“Love goes where love flows”.

Where in your life does your love not flow? Can you change that? Can you, in a healthy way, course-correct in a direction that accepts your love?

How much ease can you find in loving...in giving your love. And even more important: how much ease can you find in receiving love?

Love from others but more importantly love from yourself. I know it sounds cliche but I’m truly digging deep into the wisdom keepers that say:

“You can only love another as deeply as you love yourself”.

So what can you do, in this moment, that invites love to flow to yourself?

For me; it’s setting up special lighting in my room, laying out the yoga mat in front of a mirror, and taking deep and loving moments to observe myself.

To observe all the changes in my body from chemotherapy: the release (physically and emotionally) of hair everywhere, bruises from the blood thinners, scars from treatments. The loss of my career and life as I knew it.

But here I am, smiling at myself in a curly wig, watching this life unfold, as I love others as much and as deeply as I (cont.👇)

Custom moonstone ring to keep heart open by