07/22/2025
Rant: I see this all the time on natural birth FB groups. Why is it ok when this happens at the hospital... but when it happens with a midwife (because some labors turn the corner quickly) it becomes the midwife's fault? I see moms blaming their midwife and implying she was incompetent or lazy. "Why did the midwife ask me if she should come? Doesn't she KNOW when to come?" or "I felt abandoned because the midwife came at the last minute" (A mom had prodromal labor for a week and then a 3 hour labor... to which the midwife barely made it)
Ok, rant over. Labor is as unpredictable as the weather. No one (OB, RN or Midwife) has a crystal ball that predicts each mom's labor. While most follow a pattern, there is occasionally one that hits you out of left field. I've had moms with contractions 5 minutes apart go for another 12 hours. And other moms who's contractions never got closer than 7 minutes apart, (even her voice sounded normal and happy) have her baby less than an hour later. I've watched frustrated husbands ask me 'How much longer?' and the only answer I can give them is 'As long as it takes'. It seems like a copout answer... but it is the only honest one I can give. I've had remarkably different labors myself. From the long, drawn-out labor, to a baby that came an hour and a half from the first contraction. At no point did I think it was my midwife's fault.
I get it, we all like a dramatic birth tale... but can we stop throwing good midwives under the bus? We already have maternity care deserts, over-reaching government regulations and not enough midwives willing to fill in the gaps. Let's apply the golden rule to our midwives too: Treat them like you would want to be treated. ☺️
(Note: None of the moms complaining have been my clients. My clients are all lovely ladies who I have had the joy of serving. That said, I am noticing a trend in FB groups of blaming midwives for things outside of their control and it's driving many of them to quit.)
