Janice Rockwell, Mental Health Therapist

08/20/2025

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/16re8UJwq4/

🧠 Adolescence is one of the most active and critical times of brain development — it’s pivotal for forming patterns of behavior.

💡 Bottom line: When you learn something at this age, it leaves an impression that sticks.

In this interview with Culture Reframed, neurosurgeon Donald Hilton unpacks the neuroscience of po*******hy and its potential impact on behavior, attitudes, and relationships in young people. 🔗 Read now: https://buff.ly/ZKoDwL8

**nHarms **nography

08/19/2025

06/20/2025

**Leaving a relationship with a narcissist is like peeling back the layers of an onion.** At first, there’s just the pain of the break — the confusion, the emotional exhaustion, and the tangled mix of relief and grief. But as time goes on, something deeper begins to happen. You start to see things for what they really were. Little by little, the fog begins to lift. And what once felt like a “difficult relationship” slowly reveals itself for what it truly was — a pattern of consistent emotional, psychological, and even spiritual abuse.

With every layer you peel back, a new truth emerges — another manipulation, another moment of gaslighting, another time you bent over backward to keep the peace or questioned your own sanity just to avoid conflict. You begin to recognize how they twisted your words, rewrote history, invalidated your emotions, and slowly chipped away at your sense of self.

At the time, you may have minimized it — as so many survivors do. You told yourself it wasn't *that* bad, or that all couples have problems. But narcissistic abuse is insidious. It’s not always loud or violent — it’s subtle, corrosive, and cumulative. It’s in the constant undermining, the guilt-tripping, the silent treatments, the hot-and-cold games, the control disguised as concern. It's in the way they made you feel responsible for their emotions, while taking no responsibility for how they hurt you.

**And as time goes on, the reality becomes painfully clear: the abuse was so much worse than you thought.** The more distance you gain, the more truth you uncover. Not because you're obsessing, but because you're finally safe enough to *see*.

You begin to understand that what you experienced wasn’t love — it was control. It wasn’t care — it was possession. They didn’t choose you because of love, but because they could exploit your empathy, your loyalty, your light.

Healing from this kind of trauma doesn’t happen all at once. It happens slowly, in stages — just like peeling back that onion. And yes, it may bring tears. But it also brings clarity, self-compassion, and ultimately, freedom.

**You didn’t imagine it. You weren’t too sensitive. You were abused — and now, you are awakening.**

05/14/2025

Anxiety = Fighting imaginary monsters in your brain

03/26/2025

Yup

01/07/2025

An often overlooked aspect of your health journey is the battle between self-shaming and self-compassion. ❤️

Something we’re all guilty of as humans is talking to ourselves negatively, often without even realizing it. This self-shaming can derail our health goals and damage our self-esteem.

Here’s what self-shaming vs. self-compassion looks like:

❌ Shaming Yourself
👎 Mindset: Approaching your hormone healing journey with a critical and harsh attitude.
👎 Emotional Impact: Increases stress and anxiety, which can worsen hormonal imbalances.
👎 Motivation: Often leads to avoidance or giving up.
👎 Self-Talk: Involves negative, blaming, and punitive language towards yourself.
👎 Response to Setbacks: Seeing setbacks as personal failures, which can derail progress.
👎 Body Image: Fosters a negative body image which can lead to unhealthy behaviors.
👎 Behavioral Change: Often results in extreme, unsustainable changes that can lead to burnout.
👎 Long-term Success: More likely to experience burnout and less likely to maintain healthy habits.

✅ Self-Compassion
👍 Mindset: Approaching your hormone healing journey with a nurturing and supportive attitude.
👍 Emotional Impact: Helps reduce stress and anxiety, which are detrimental to hormone health.
👍 Motivation: Encourages making positive, sustainable changes.
👍 Self-Talk: Involves speaking to yourself kindly, with understanding and forgiveness.
👍 Response to Setbacks: Viewing setbacks as opportunities to learn and grow.
👍 Body Image: Promotes a healthy, respectful relationship with your body.
👍 Social Support: Builds stronger, empathetic relationships with others.
👍 Long-term Success: More likely to sustain healthy habits.

By choosing self-compassion over shaming, you create a positive, supportive environment for your hormone healing journey, leading to better outcomes and overall well-being.

Save this post as a reminder to speak to yourself with compassion!

12/18/2024

I am reposting this old post because I have recently learned of a new app that we need to be aware of. It is a new way to cyber bully by the user who can take someone’s online photo and the app will undress them. Not only is this cyber bullying, but it is po*******hy. Often times the victim has no knowledge their photo has been altered. I am encouraging all parents to become involved with your child’s on line activities. Please read the following. You can learn more about the app from 60 minutes.

My hometown recently made headlines for s*x trafficking and po*******hy. It has rocked the world of many people. I am a therapist, certified in s*x addiction and I would like to share some things I have learned over the years. Addiction impacts 4 major brain chemicals: norepinephrine, oxytocin, serotonin, and dopamine. Dopamine is our pleasure chemical and dopamine does not care if the pleasure is good for us or not. “So what does this have to do with s*x trafficking and po*******hy?” you may ask. Let me back up a little so you understand that unhealthy pleasure seeking almost always has to do with trauma. The trauma does not have to be on the level of 9-11, but often is associated with bullying, abuse, shaming, and violence as well as catastrophes natural and man-made. If we look at bullying at a school to a young person who may be struggling with identity, issues at home, or just not fitting in at school, this child is extremely vulnerable. Predators have an instinct to seek out the vulnerable in the human race as in all animals.
What happened in my hometown has to do with predators. The p**n industry has been around prior to the invention of the internet. Once the internet was invented, they jumped right in. As the inventors of the pop-up on your computer, laptop, or phone you may have experienced p**n yourself without searching for it. When I first began my training as a s*x addiction therapist 10 years ago, the average age of first exposure to p**n was 9. Two years ago it was 7. Our children and us, are being de-sensitized to accept p**n. Think about the 6:30 shows on network tv with Charlie Sheen hopping in and out of bed with any number of women. What happens when children experience s*xualized shows, commercials, movies, or games? The pleasure center in the brain is activated with a surge of dopamine. Dopamine always wants more. If a wounded child is home from school after a brutal day of bullying, they may find themselves looking at s*xualized materials, ma********ng and getting some relief. This child is the perfect victim for a predator.
Now that I have explained briefly how children can be victimized, I want to share solutions and/or preventions. In my practice, I have been frustrated by parents who will not put controls on their child’s phone. Think about this, the cell phone and lap top are amazing, yet very, very dangerous. You are essentially giving a vulnerable child a $1000.00 piece of equipment that can give your child access to anything and everything on the internet. You may be positive your child does not seek out po*******hy, but I am here to tell you, po*******hy will find them. You can monitor your child’s phone, which I highly recommend. I recommend this because there are apps that hide your child’s searches, conversations, and locations and we as parents are none the wiser. Your child’s brain is not fully developed even though your child may be very mature. Our children need our guidance more than ever. Please take a few moments to talk with your partner about:
Limiting time your child spends on electronics
A central charging station in your control while your child sleeps
DO NOT LET YOUR CHILD HAVE THE PHONE FOR 24 HOURS if they use their phone for an alarm, buy them an old fashioned alarm clock.
Installing apps to protect your child
regular phone checks to see what is on the phone. If you don’t know what apps “hide” activity….learn and become involved
Do not allow apps that do not have a history
Make sure you have all the passwords to apps such as Facebook and Instagram and check these sites often.

Remember, your child having a phone is a luxury not a necessity and you as parents are in control.

Resources: https://www.yourbrainonp**n.com/.research/

https://famisafe.wondershare.com/block/how-to-stop-po*******hy-addiction-for-kids.html

Gail Dines: CEO of Culture Reframed culture reframed.org

Gail Dines: Book P**nland

APPS: Covent Eyes
Victory
God over P**n
Fight the New Drug. My k

YBOP contains extensive research archives. You can find these via The Main Research Page, which starts with an overview of current research. At the very bottom of that page you can find links to categories of studies, such as P**nography and Adolescents, P**n Use & S*x Addiction, and Internet Ad

10/10/2024

"The original Ferris Wheel, towering over the midway at the 1893 World's Fair, was a marvel of engineering and spectacle, captivating millions with its grand scale and effortless operation."

In the heart of the 1893 World's Fair in Chicago, the original Ferris Wheel stood as a colossal symbol of human ingenuity. Designed by George Washington Gale Ferris Jr., this giant structure was no ordinary amusement ride—it was an engineering triumph that would forever change the landscape of entertainment.

Rising high above the fairgrounds, the Ferris Wheel featured 36 cars, each capable of holding up to 60 passengers. For just four bits, fairgoers could experience the thrill of being lifted into the sky, offering a panoramic view of the grand exposition below. Imagine the spectacle of 2,160 passengers—each weighing about 140 pounds—suspended in the air, the total weight in motion reaching an astonishing 1,191 tons.

Opening to the public on June 21, 1893, the Ferris Wheel operated flawlessly until the fair's end on November 6, 1893. During this period, it drew 1,453,611 paid admissions, with an additional thousand or more free trips granted to dignitaries and special guests. Each ride consisted of a single revolution with six stops for loading, followed by a nine-minute, nonstop whirl—a breathtaking experience for those lucky enough to secure a spot.

Financially, the Ferris Wheel was as successful as it was spectacular. With gross earnings totaling $726,805, the company retained $513,403 after expenses, netting a substantial profit of $395,000. The Wheel’s triumph was not just in its profits, but in the awe it inspired, leaving an indelible mark on the history of world's fairs and amusement rides.

As the sun set on the World's Fair, the Ferris Wheel stood as a testament to the heights of imagination and the limitless possibilities of innovation. It was more than just a ride; it was an experience that left millions gazing up in wonder, forever captivated by the giant wheel that turned above them.

10/09/2024

When we love somebody, we always have to face the reality that we might one day have to carry the grief of their death. The grief that comes at that point is a reflection and testament to the amount of love and gratitude that we feel for the role they played in our lives. As such, we should always remember that love and grief come hand in hand; we cannot experience one without the other.

10/01/2024

this is very powerful....Rips and Repairs

Today's inspiration comes from:

I Want to Trust You, but I Don't

by Lysa TerKeurst

Isn’t it odd that out of the millions of moments we’ll experience in a lifetime, most of them will pass without us being able to recall them? These moments become a collective swirl of general memories without a lot of detail. For example, without looking at your phone, what were you doing exactly five months ago today at 2:00 p.m.? What were you wearing? Who were you with? What did you have on your to-do list that day? What made you laugh? What made you cry? What were you stressed about? What did you celebrate? What were you hoping you’d accomplish that day? What prayers did you pray? If it was a normal day, chances are we don’t remember.



Doing the math, in my fifty-four years of living, I’ve experienced over twenty-eight million minutes. My calculator freaked out a bit when I tried to multiply that number by sixty to see how many seconds that equates to. Regardless, it’s a lot of moments with countless details that don’t register in my memory.



But there are some moments that will stay with me forever. I can recall them with such precision that it’s like I’m watching a movie inside my brain. I can tell you the smallest of details without missing a beat. I can feel what I was feeling, especially when the memory is around the unexpected heartbreak of a relationship not being what you once thought it was. And though a lot of healing has happened, I sometimes still find myself a bit stunned by broken trust.

It hurts in ways our hearts weren’t designed to hurt. We were made to come together with others, not to be torn apart by others.



Broken trust complicates every bit of the parts of love that should be comforting.


I read once that the more intense the emotion is at the time a memory is made, the more likely we are to remember it. That’s been so true for me.



One of those moments I think I’ll carry forever was the night I knew my marriage was over. I stared at the ceiling, desperate to wake up from this never-ending nightmare. But there would be no waking up from this. There would only be a long road of wading through the debris. Trust had been so severely broken over and over. Even the repair work we’d done now felt futile in light of how everything was turning out.



The wear and tear on all those people who were part of this painful journey had taken its toll. Not only was I losing my marriage, but so many other relationships would also change forever. Even some friendships I thought would stand the test of time had all but disintegrated. Couple friends are complicated when you’re no longer a couple. People pick sides. And when they don’t know the whole story, you’re desperate to tell them. But that’s not always possible. People have their reasons and their own issues. People shock you.



Tears leaked from my eyes, but I had no energy to sob like I’d done so many times before. It was like my eyes were purging the last tiny bits of hope I had for this to be turned around. Quietly, one after another, they fell until they stopped.



And then I had the weirdest sensation that this was the moment of transition between the life I’d fought so desperately to keep and the life I would step into where everything was different. I whispered the only prayer I could:



“Jesus, I love You, and You love me. That’s all I’ve got.”


I wish I could go back in time and tell myself that though the trust in this relationship could not be repaired, other relationships where the trust had been broken would be. Some friends would come back. Family members would too. My kids and I would find our way through the grief of loss. And there would come a day when we would start building a new collection of memorable moments. Good ones we didn’t see coming. Indeed, time didn’t get stuck in that season of heartbreak. If there is one thing that’s true about life after loss, it’s that it goes on.



And as time goes on, some relationships will go on with us and some will not.

Some will not, because they walked away.
Some will not, because we made a wise choice to let go.
Some will fade away. As seasons of life change, so do some relationships.
Some will stay as strong as always.
Some will be more complicated and uncertain, because trust has been broken.



But perhaps instead of going away, they’ll stay. And you’ll stay. And now the hard work of repair must begin.



But before we dive into ways to repair trust, let’s put some thought into what trust is and how it serves our relationships.



I think the phrase “the ties that bind us” is an accurate picture of human relationships.



Trust is made up of incredibly intricate but invisible emotional threads of connection between two people. These threads hold them together.


They bring a sense of balance and stability to the relationship. The more the two people honor these threads of trust, the stronger they get. Though neither person can see the threads of trust with their eyes, they feel the strength of their connection in their hearts. The stronger the connection, the more assured both people are in the quality of the relationship.

Trust is made up of incredibly intricate but invisible emotional threads of connection between two people. These threads hold them together.

It feels so fulfilling to be confident you can count on key people you love. I think it’s one of the greatest feelings of safety to know that, even if everything else in the world falls apart, you still have a few people who will be right there with you.



But here’s the thing no one ever told me. Those few people, that sacred little circle of human connection you think will never change, might not be the same people all the way through life. “Besties for the resties” sounds really good on an Instagram post, but real life doesn’t always turn out that way. Promises are sometimes broken. People move away, fade away, pass away, walk away, and turn away. Sometimes there’s broken trust. Other times there’s just a slow erosion of connection, which diminishes trust. There are also sudden disruptions of trust where they say something you can’t unhear, reveal something you can’t unknow, or choose something you can’t go along with. Or sometimes they withhold information from you, and instead of you being the first to know, you’re one of the last.



And certainly, there are times when you and I have broken other people’s trust. Sometimes we know it. And sometimes we aren’t sure what we did. It’s good for us to humbly seek clarity. And if there is repair work to be done, and the other person is willing, prayerfully consider what you can do. Let’s acknowledge our own imperfections and agree to reread this chapter when we need to make things right with another person.



But for today, let’s read this in light of the ways others have broken our trust. Repairing broken trust requires us to first establish what we need from another person in order to consider them trustworthy. As you read my list, feel free to change it in any way you want, to make it true to what your heart needs to feel safe and secure.



My personal definition of healthy trust with another person means I can count on them...

to be who they say they are;
to do what they say they are going to do;
to show up with care and compassion;
to tell the truth; and
to use good judgment and biblical wisdom with their decisions.


As I did research by asking others about trust, I found people are unique with their thoughts on what is necessary for someone to be trustworthy in their eyes. Some of the needs are similar to mine but use different wording or are more specific. See if any of these resonate more deeply and need to be on your list of what speaks trustworthiness to you:

They are authentic.
They never say, “I probably shouldn’t share this, but...”
They show consistency in how they treat you.
They aren’t moody, unpredictable, or prone to angry outbursts.
They are resourceful.
You can count on them to be there for you.
They have longevity in their other relationships.
They have a good reputation.
They are loyal.
They treat all people fairly.
They are humble enough to admit they are sometimes wrong.
They are willing to be held accountable.
They don’t dance around issues but instead are straightforward.
They are available.
They are cooperative.
They don’t cut corners or cheat.
They respect other people’s property.
They respect your time.


Good relationships are precious. And just because trust has been broken doesn’t mean the relationship is no longer good. Sometimes trust can be diminished even in solid relationships because of missteps like one person not being responsible, not keeping their word, or not showing up with care and compassion like they should have. For me, the biggest determining factor as to whether I’m still safe with a person is how they react to my concerns. I feel more hopeful if they listen without animosity and seek to understand what I need.



My counselor says, “For every rip there needs to be a repair.” I really like this advice. If we can address the rips as they happen, it will help us better manage our concerns before they turn into full-blown ruptures.

Excerpted with permission from I Want to Trust You, But I Don’t by Lysa TerKeurst, copyright Lysa TerKeurst.



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Sometimes, all we can say is “Jesus, I love You, and You love me. That’s all I’ve got.” That’s a great place to start when walking into healing from broken trust and relationship destruction. James 1:5 says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” G

09/16/2024

I am so happy Susan is with our practice!!

It's another ! Meet Susan Milner, MS, LIMHP.

Susan Milner is a Licensed Independent Mental Health Practitioner. She received her Master’s Degree in Counseling from Doane College in February of 2014 and earned her BA in Liberal Arts from Doane College in May of 2011.
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Providing individual and couples therapy, Susan specializes in depression, anxiety, grief, trauma and compulsive disorders. She is also trained in dialectical behavioral therapy and facilitates a women's DBT group.

She has experience supporting families facing the challenges of caregiving. She is particularly committed to working with special needs children and their caregivers, helping them navigate the unique difficulties they face while striving for success in both therapy and life.

Susan also provides consultation and life coaching for clients. She is a certified trainer in Emergenetics, a self-assessment profile which is used to identify thinking and behavioral styles. As an Emergenetics trainer, Milner provides one-on-one coaching and team development workshops facilitating communication and enhancing both personal and team effectiveness.
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Susan is married to Jerry and has two children, Rhett and Molly who keep her focused on the most important aspects of life. Susan’s personal mission in life is to reach her best potential and to help others achieve theirs also. In her leisure time she loves to play golf and be outdoors. Susan also enjoys the creative writing process, reading great books and exploring spiritual truths.