Most Satisfied Public Group

01/17/2023

Distracted Much?
Question: Do we have enough time?
That’s an uncomfortable question. We seem to be busy until late at night and always have more to do. In fact, there are lots of things we need to do, but we just don’t have enough time.
Or perhaps, we are too distracted.
The Greek word for “anxious” is “distracted.” It’s hard to stay focused on important things when we get bogged down in the little things. I love YouTube shorts and social media, but does that distract me from something more important? And by the way, what is important?
Steven Covey showed us that we can be easily caught up in the unimportant and lose track of the important. And when we do that, we get anxious about things we need to do but seem not to have enough time for. Anxiety is fear about the future, that something unsettling may happen. So, what do we do with this tension?
First, be aware of it. When we get so distracted with the interesting that we don’t have time for the important, our priorities are off. St. Augustine suggested we have “disordered loves” when we don’t have time for what is most important. Ordering our time is an act of honoring God while decreasing our distractions (and anxiety). Funny how that works; the more we put God first the less anxious we are. It’s remarkable how the Bible always proves itself correct when we deal with modern stresses.
What’s amazing is that this all relates back to our emotions. How we self-soothe, or calm ourselves down, reflects our priorities. The idea of self-soothing is related to how we handle life emotionally. When we have too much stress, we try to calm ourselves down with something we enjoy. If your method is eating, then you may gain weight. If your method is drinking, then you may become an alcoholic. If watching social media is your method, then you are "normal."
So, what's your method of self-soothing?
Being aware of your patterns of relaxing is an important part of life. God wants you to be happy, but your method of relaxing usually isn’t his. Social media may be fine, as long as boundaries are placed on it. But when you lose yourself in the “interesting” you end up distracted and, in effect, anxious. This pressure makes us want to self-soothe more, and we go back to the interesting. Before we know it, we can lose a decade of life.
Do you have time for silence? Do you have time for being with God? When was the last time you enjoyed him? Have you allowed Jesus to soothe you?
Allow margin into your life to allow God into your life. Adjusting your schedule can actually be an act of worship.
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01/17/2023

“Am I that emotional?"

As men, we like to think we don’t struggle with emotions. In fact, if we are real men, we can completely ignore emotions, kind of like when you smash your finger with a hammer and decide to keep working. We ignore the pain and keep doing what is needed. Why? So we can 1) get the job done and 2) brag about your smashed finger to your friends.

“Yeah, I smashed it pretty well, think the fingernail is almost coming off."
"Wow, what did you do?"
"Nothing, I just kept working. Had to get the job done."
And the other men marvel at your manliness. And your “man points” go up in their eyes.

That's what we do with our emotions. We feel hurt by what someone said and simply ignore it. We walk it off. Maybe rub some dirt in it, unless it’s winter and all the dirt is frozen.

That’s NOT how God made you. You are supposed to be hurt when you are rejected or shamed. Ignoring your feelings doesn’t work. Psychologist Joe Dispenza shared, “thoughts are the language of the brain, and feelings are the language of the body.”

So, the question is, are you aware of your body? Not, can you move your body, but are you, right now, aware of your feelings? This is not “girl talk,” this is real.

When emotions are ignored or stuffed in the imaginary basement of our mind, they are actually stuck in the body. When anger is stuffed, it will come out. When loneliness is ignored, it ends up in the body, draining our bodies and our minds. It remains with us physically.

“So, what am I supposed to do about it?”

Answer: Stop. Begin to feel your emotions. When was the last time you were sad? When did you last cry? When have you felt satisfied? How about peace?

You need to turn off the devices and feel. Stop the thoughts (mind) and be aware (physically). Rest. Be in silence. This novel idea can change your life. Be aware of yourself, so you can be fully alive.

God speaks to you through your feelings. If you can’t feel, then you can’t hear. You may be missing out on incredible things God wants to do with you by numbing yourself.

Breathe deeply and rate your stress level. Like a dial on your own dashboard, rate your stress level from 1 (no stress) to 10 (the most stress you ever felt). Read your dashboard and be aware of yourself.

Interested? Contact Andy Eastham at andy@mostsatisfied.net

01/17/2023

“What Do You Mean, It’s All in My Body?”

What makes p**n addiction so powerful? Why are we unable to stop the incredible rush of adrenaline when we want to look at p**n?

There is a growing amount of research showing that emotional triggers are in the body. Peter Levine, in his groundbreaking research on Somatic Experience, has the solution. When the experience of wanting that next buzz is in the body, the solution is…also in the body. This novel idea has a growing amount of research, from which Sara Brewer seems to be benefiting from.

If p**n addiction is emotionally based, then we need to connect with the base of those emotions- which are in the body. Instead of trying to ignore (which worked once in the last 2,000 triggers) or willpower (which worked less) or shame (which increases our relapse), we need to slow down and connect with our own bodies.

Yes, your bodies, your physical bodies. By slowing down your actions and connecting with your own body, you can find an alternative. By using the age-old skill of mindfulness, you can handle temptation; specifically, the emotion of temptation.

Imagine this; it’s 10:30 at night and you are bored. You have a huge external trigger (it’s a perfect time), which set off your internal trigger (emotions in your chest, increased anticipation for release in your body). This situation is ripe for…. relapse!
Now, instead of doing what you often do, STOP. Yes, stop and use mindfulness (a skill you can learn) and teach yourself to rest. Do this skill for 120 seconds. Mindfulness is doing three things; 1) focusing on one thing, usually your body 2) being aware of the here and now (not fears of the past or anxiety of the future), and being 3) non-judgmental. Just be.

The skill is powerful. It can allow you to handle the pressure of temptation, as well as the pressure of…asking a girl out or getting that new job.

Interested? Contact Andy Eastham at andy@mostsatisfied.net

01/15/2023

01/15/2023

Get the help you need to quit p**n

I use the truths of Scripture combined with the science of psychology to help you practice the skills to decrease the power of your triggers to use. Meditation has been used for centuries for the benefit of men and women, and now, using the neurological research offered by experts, I will help you handle the emotional stress of saying no. Not through willpower or shame, but with healing.

I am a registered social worker with the State of Michigan with 24 years of experience in mental health. I have a passion for healing men who are no longer able to live the lives they want. I’ve already written a book on the most satisfied experience
and want to use these skills and practices for your benefit.

The title comes from John Piper's quote “God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in him.” Your body holds onto emotions and experiences, by learning how to handle these emotions physically, you will be able to handle the stress of triggers.

You can see me right where you are right now through your own cell phone or device. No need to worry about in-person meetings. Rates are exceptionally low ($80/hr) and your privacy is guaranteed, so don’t worry if your insurance covers you or not. Keep your privacy.

Curious? Email me for free if you are interested andy@mostsatisfied.net Move from your fears to your hopes, and experience life satisfied.

10/02/2022

Let me paint a picture for you. You looked at p**nography (online or hard copy) by mistake. You knew it was wrong, but something inside drew you to look. There was a lot of so-called innocent curiosity initially. And the first time you saw p**n, your brain lit up like a Christmas tree (more so if you masturbated). Something powerful deep inside you were awakened.

You felt dirty, but the feeling after seeing p**n was so intensely good that you couldn't stop thinking about it. Just thinking about it sparked an adrenaline rush in your mind. This rush was so compelling that you forgot about everything else. So, you wandered back a second time to "take a peek." You knew it was wrong, but the feeling was so wonderful you HAD to have it again.

Eventually, you discovered online p**n (if you hadn't already). —This venue allowed for instant live-action options anywhere at any time. You gave into your "sin" and built your week around your next p**n binge. Some weeks it was all you could think about. It was almost like a swarm of p**n flies zipping around your head. It was more than distracted; it was almost maddening. And your mind would start slipping. You would forget why you walked into a room or where you were going in your car. The waves of fantasy washing over your mind can become so overwhelming the feeling can only be compared to a mood-altering drug. One you seem to have no power over.

You feel like a bottle tossed about the sea whichever way the wind takes you. Your only hope? Earth-shattering willpower. But it never works. Maybe for a few days, but then you relapse and become more of a monster than you already were. You always seem to cave in. So, you planned to keep it quiet and hope nothing else bad happens. Then one day, you got caught…

Satan's plan gets you as addicted as possible before any negative consequences are experienced. After you are hooked, he will offer p**n to help you numb the self-hatred you feel for your repeated failure. He had you addicted before you even realized what was going on. Eventually, you become your own worst enemy, and you self-destruct. And you destroy yourself. The only thing worse than being beaten by Satan is when he gets us to do it to ourselves.

Instead of turning away from p**n, you turned to it. You knew p**n was wrong, but you had to have relief from the weight of shame you accused yourself of. That's why you hid it, hoping the addiction would go away on its own. Once you realized you couldn't stop, you did the most logical thing possible: you created a double life. You kept your life on the outside looking the same; attending Church (after all, it is the right thing to do), going to work, helping children with their homework, and mowing your lawn. You were a good guy.

You didn't look different on the outside, at least, not as far as you knew. You would speak out about the evils of p**n to anyone who brought it up, but at night, you indulged yourself. This only compounded your shame. You felt like a hypocrite…because you were a hypocrite. And you reasoned to yourself it would only hurt your wife if you told her. So, you doubled your efforts.

Once Satan gets you on this self-destructive path, he allows you all the creativity to destroy everything you hold dear. You do his work for him. He knows your anxiety is out of control. The p**n industry will take care of you from there. Secular psychologist Edward O'Connor defines stress as any time you hold two opposing views simultaneously. And boy, do you hold two very different views on p**n – it's a horrible sin AND something you can't live without.

You have created your own worst nightmare. Your enemy is growing in power inside you (think of the movie Alien again).

If you listen real closely, you can hear the demons giggle at you.

You are convinced, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you are such a great sinner that ever lived (because of the pattern mentioned above) and that there is no way God could love you, not after what you have done. Or I should say, are doing.

Spiritual Warfare

Neil Anderson has helped the Church with his work, "The Bo***ge Breaker." Many Christians have pointed me to this book as a turning point in their lives. He has been able to remove the veil of deception from the eyes of believers in a practical way. Anderson states, "Satan's ultimate lie is that you are capable of being the god of your own life, and his ultimate bo***ge is getting you to live as though this lie is truth" (4). The devil does not have power over us if we are in Christ. Christ has overcome the world (John 16:33). The truth is that Christ has already defeated Satan. You are free through the blood of Jesus.

Anderson adds, "…at salvation; God changed our very essence; we became 'partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world by lust' 2 Peter 1:4 (NASB)". I love that. It's not that we feel different; we are different. Our very essence has been changed. And the work has been done by Christ.

"If Satan is already disarmed," said Anderson, "why don't experience more victory in our lives? Here's the word again: the lie. Satan roams around like a hungry lion, looking and sounding ferocious. In reality, his fangs have been removed, and he has been declawed, but if he can deceive you into believing that he can chew you up and spit you out, he can control your behavior, which is just what he wants to do. In reality, he is just faking Christians into defeat!"

03/19/2022

Our Real Identity?

But God is whispers, “you are my beloved. You belong to me.” It’s not what you do or produce that defines you; He’s the one that defines you. And he’s already done it. Everything that seems so important will be forgotten the moment of your death. Your living station (Earth) is a temporary housing unit. Your worth doesn’t come from outside of you; it comes your inside of you – from God.
Identify is not something you earn, it’s something you already have. You have just been deceived.
Why do men define themselves by their careers? What is the first question you ask a guy you are meeting for the first time? “What do you do?” Isn’t that a telling question? We don’t ask them if they are married, if they go to Church, if their father is in good health – we ask what they do for a living. Whether we know it or not, we imply their identity is in their work.
Christ already answered the dilemma of who we are 2,000 years ago. I love how Eugene Peterson puts it in his paraphrase of the Message:
“With the arrival of Jesus, the Messiah, that fateful dilemma is resolved. Those who enter into Christ’s being-here-for-us no longer have to live under a continuous, low-lying black cloud. A new power is in operation. The Spirit of life in Christ, like a strong wind, has magnificently cleared the air, freeing you from a fated lifetime of brutal tyranny at the hands of sin and death.” Romans 8:1-2
Christ has come to free us from “a fated lifetime of brutal tyranny at the hands of sin and death.” What can be better than that?
The question is, do you feel that freedom?

The Power to Love

God has invited us into a world of love. He loved us first. When we receive that limitless force of love, we spill over with love for others.
What do you do SINCE your need for significance and security are already met?
That’s a big question. Instead of chasing after love and acceptance, awake to the reality that you already have it. You have freedom to love others without strings attached. You can give without needing something in return. God didn’t die for you to feel better about yourself, he died so he could change you into one of his sons, and then you could reach his other sons with the love he planted inside your heart.
But you can’t do that if your identity is built on shame and scarcity. If you are trying to get life from things, you can’t give life to anyone.
Louie used to say, “Everything you do, you do from your self-esteem.” If you have a calm confidence that Christ has already named you, then you can feel worthy enough to reach outside of yourself and risk loving others. And your world gets bigger.If you don’t feel God has defined you, then you really don’t have the energy or resources to risk loving others. And your world gets smaller and quieter.
“A sense of worthiness inspires us to be vulnerable, share openly, and persevere,” says Brown, “Shame keeps us small, resentful, and afraid. In shame-prone cultures, where parents, leaders, and administrators consciously or unconsciously encourage people to connect their self-worth to what they produce, I see disengagement, blame, gossip, stagnation, favoritism, and a total dearth of creativity and innovation.” (3)