12/03/2025
Parenting is leadership; therefore, the effective discipline of a child is largely a matter of presentation. Proper consequences delivered without a proper attitude do not work. Effective discipline is largely a matter of how parents communicate their expectations and instructions to their children, and in that regard, their speech is key.
Letting your yes be simply yes and your no be simply no means making yourself perfectly clear. Say what you mean, and mean what you say. Yelling at a child is not leadership speech, nor is threatening a child with horrible consequences. Yelling and threatening only communicate that the child has gotten the better of the parent.
On the other side of the coin, cajoling, persuading, and enticing also fail to communicate authority. They communicate to a child that the parent is unsure of himself, uncomfortable with being an authority figure.
The difference between authoritative speech and sweet-talk is simple: One is concise, the other wordy. One is unequivocal, the other wobbly. One comes straight to the point; the other dances around the issue. One is simply "Do this," the other is "I'd really like you to do this because...." One is instruction, the other a request.
DJ's take requests. Children, not so much.
