TJ Rumler Consulting

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Before you force your child to give that one family member a hug, consider this…
12/24/2025

Before you force your child to give that one family member a hug, consider this…

Happy holidays.I keep thinking about the “gift” we all want this time of year isn’t always the one in the box.Sometimes ...
12/24/2025

Happy holidays.

I keep thinking about the “gift” we all want this time of year isn’t always the one in the box.

Sometimes the real present look like a nervous system that gets one quiet moment. A boundary that actually holds. A conversation that repairs instead of escalates. A night of sleep that doesn’t feel like a fight.

A moment of peace. A mind that isn't racing. A second of stillness in your soul.

If this season is joyful for you, I hope you soak it in.

If it’s heavy…you’re not behind. You’re human. And you’re not alone.

Share this post with someone you hope gets the gift of joy, peace, and hope this holiday season.

12/24/2025

Sometimes the most trauma-informed thing we can do is admit this:

👉 Even as helpers, we can cause harm.

That’s why I add a 5th R to trauma-informed care: RUMBLE.

Rumble =
• Owning that our tone, policies, and reactions have impact
• Listening when youth say, “That hurt”
• Being willing to repair, not just defend
• Asking, “Is this practice building safety—or fear?”

This isn’t about shame. It’s about responsibility. At the very least, trauma-informed care should mean: do no harm. 🧠💜

💬 What’s one practice you (or your team) have changed after realizing it might be harmful?

12/22/2025

This is the one that stings a little.

The 4th R is RESIST RE-TRAUMATIZATION.

Sometimes our “normal” practices can repeat the same powerlessness kids have already lived through:
• Public shaming and call-outs
• Exclusion-only discipline
• Ignoring identity-based harm (racism, homophobia, etc.)
• Silencing kids’ voices

Trauma-informed care means constantly asking:
💡 “Does this practice protect nervous systems—or punish them?”

💬 What’s one policy or habit your school, clinic, or home has changed to reduce harm?

12/15/2025

Knowing about trauma is step one.

How we RESPOND is where it gets real.

Trauma-informed responses sound like:
• “Let’s take a quick break and then try again.”
• “Here are two options—what works best for you?”
• “I can see you’re overwhelmed. I’m not giving up on you.”

It’s everyday micro-decisions that tell a young nervous system:
👉 “You’re safe with me.” 🧠

💬 What’s one way you’re trying to respond differently?

12/10/2025

Community care is a concept that's finally making it's way around our circles.
It’s also how we actually keep people in this work.

We spent time with the Clemson Teaching Fellows talking about what it means to build communities where we care for each other and support collective wellness.

When we learn to check on each other, share the load, and normalize asking for help, we’re not just helping teachers. We’re creating safer classrooms for kids too. Big props to Clemson and the Teaching Fellows for the chance to be in this room with the next generation of educators. 💜

Drop a word in the comments that describes what community care looks like for you!

12/10/2025

Moms—what’s one realization that helped you let go of the guilt around taking care of yourself?

12/08/2025

Aubrey Plaza describes grief using a movie metaphor — not as a neat set of stages, but as a gorge that suddenly exists in your life.

If your grief was a movie scene or a movie title, what would it be?

12/08/2025

Trauma doesn’t always look like tears.

For kids and teens it can look like:
• “Attitude” or defiance
• Zoning out or never turning in work
• Perfectionism and people-pleasing
• Explosive reactions over “small” things

The second R, RECOGNIZE, is about seeing survival, not just “misbehavior.” When we recognize the signs of trauma, we stop taking it so personally—and start getting curious instead. 💡

💬 Did a specific student, client, or child come to mind?

12/07/2025

When people like Billie Eilish talk about mental health, people tend to listen.

The research is clear: feeling seen, supported, and connected to friends is one of the strongest protective factors we have against depression, anxiety, and even su***de risk.

If you’ve been thinking about checking in on someone you care about, let this be your nudge.

Educators deserve tools that help them stay grounded and effective. Here are some of the top takeaways participants shar...
12/06/2025

Educators deserve tools that help them stay grounded and effective. Here are some of the top takeaways participants shared from our self-care training.

Clemson University College of Education

Today I officially graduated from the Riley Institute at Furman’s Diversity Leaders Initiative (DLI), Class 38. 💜I’m dee...
12/03/2025

Today I officially graduated from the Riley Institute at Furman’s Diversity Leaders Initiative (DLI), Class 38. 💜

I’m deeply grateful to Furman, the Riley Institute team, our facilitators, and my brilliant classmates for creating a space that embodied what we talk about so often: community care, psychological safety, and belonging.

Through the lens of diversity, equity, and inclusion, we practiced building rooms where people could show up fully, be heard, and be challenged with care. That kind of space isn’t “extra.” It’s mental health work. It’s healing work. It’s leadership work. 🧠

Special love to my project team for the work we launched together. If you want to follow along with our community storytelling project, check out and the hashtag .

Here’s to building more spaces where everyone feels safe enough to be honest, brave enough to grow, and supported enough to stay in the room.

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