North Star Relational Therapy

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North Star Relational Therapy

Contact information, map and directions, contact form, opening hours, services, ratings, photos, videos and announcements from North Star Relational Therapy, Mental Health Service, 6200 S Syracuse Way, Greenwood Village, CO.

*now accepting new clients* I am a licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in relational therapy, premarital counseling, and providing mental health services to adults and families in Colorado, teletherapy and in person in Greenwood Village

08/23/2022

Gottman institute (the relationship wizards I fan-girl over) encourages repair attempts, meaning getting back on track during conflict with any statement or action that prevents negativity from getting out of control.

I often encourage people to think about repair strategies when not actively in conflict. I mean think about it, schools and workplaces discuss and plan fire drills before there’s a fire. You don’t wait until there’s a fire to figure out the plan. Same concept. Here’s some repair phrases to add to your toolbox. If these phrases don’t sound like you, no problem—edit them to sound more authentic to how you speak.

08/23/2022

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said this very statement in session. Great relationships are cultivated. Couples who are thriving express appreciation often, consider one another’s perspective and empathize even when they don’t agree, and remind themselves the grass isn’t always greener. It’s greener where you water it.

I love this phrase for individuals too. It can be easy on social media to get caught up in what other people are doing and in comparing yourself to peers. Notice your feels and briiiiiing it back, focus on what YOU can do for yourself and/or your relationships to cultivate the life you want.

08/23/2022

•Control• Consciously, unconsciously, we have all gotten ourselves worked up over things that we just have no influence over. I like using the boat metaphor for control, imagine throwing the things you can’t control overboard and shift your focus to the things in your boat that you can control.

If you can let yourself go there, there’s a lot of peace and beauty in letting go of things you can’t control. When we get fixed on things going a certain way, we close ourselves off to other opportunities or outcomes and even being fully present.

Your partner isn’t behaving the way you’d prefer? Focus on how you can cope with things not going your way or how you can calmly communicate your needs to your partner, if appropriate. There’s a difficult balance in intimate relationships between whole heartedly accepting your loved one and attuning to yourself and asking your loved one to make changes for what you need.

Next time you find yourself worked up, reflect on this: can I let this go and practice acceptance for my partner and focus on what I can do to manage my discomfort?

08/23/2022

Usually when we find ourselves reacting rather than responding, it’s not going to end well. If you’ve been to couples therapy, you probably learned •speaker-listener• where you take turns with one partner having the “floor” and the other listening before switching turns. While this can feel unnatural, there’s something to SLOWING DOWN and getting curious about what you are hearing before firing back.

08/23/2022

It might sound easy, but I often hear that people are scared/worried to ask their partner to try couples therapy. I hear : does that mean we’re doomed that I’m considering therapy? NO. Would you think your body is doomed for going to a yearly check up?

It’s my job as a LMFT to treat the relationship, to help identify patterns within yourself and the relationship that you or your partner feel aren’t working for you or your partner. If things feel good and you have met your goals in 3 sessions, then we can be done with therapy in 3 sessions. If it takes longer because you’ve been stuck in the unhelpful pattern (or “dance”) for longer, that’s ok too.

Also, did you know research shows the average couple waits 6 years while being unhappy before seeking help? Newer research is saying 2.5 years from onset of dissatisfaction but still…..don’t wait. It could be too little too late (plz tell me you get the jojo reference). Consider trying a relationship check up.

08/23/2022

People in relationships have conflict, it’s inevitable. One tip for being able to manage conflict more effectively is investing in your emotional bank account. Imagine you make a large purchase (a withdrawal) with limited funds in your bank account versus having plenty of excess funds in the account, one feels more threatening while the other feels more safe. Same thing with a relationship’s emotional bank account. When you have a conflict and the bank account is near empty, it feels threatening. When the bank account is bountiful, you are able to maintain more positive affect during conflict.

You can be investing regularly into your emotional bank account with these few behavioral strategies and more.

•Unplug and give your partner screen free attention. Sharing memes is a love language don’t get me wrong, but contact and good ol conversation are nice too.
•Dr John Gottman (another hero, along with his wife Julie, in the relationship therapy space) has found that a six second kiss can be an exercise of mindfulness, a ritual of connection, reduces cortisol (stress hormone) and boosts oxytocin (love hormone), and most importantly can improve the health of your relationship
•Another Gottman tip is having regular stress reducing conversations, being your partner’s safe space to vent and just validating their experience before offering advice or problem solving
•See something you like? Say it! Gratitude breeds joy. And I’m not saying you have to love it all, but commit to noticing the good things your partner brings to the table or even just let them know you like their face 😊
•Try something new together! Ever watch the bachelor when they go sky diving or conquer a fear together? No? Just me? Either way, expanding your comfort zone with your partner can be a bonding experience even if it is a fail and turns into a good laugh.
• Take good care of yourself too. Pretty self explanatory, but you can’t pour from an empty cup. If you aren’t pouring into yourself, you won’t be able to sustain pouring into someone else.

08/23/2022

Self care👏 is 👏not 👏selfish👏

08/23/2022

Dr. Sue. Freakin. Johnson. She is a clinical psychologist, researcher, professor, author, speaker who founded emotion focused therapy. She takes attachment theory and translates it into action. Odds are if you’ve ever been to couples therapy, your therapist has been influenced by her work or actively used EFT in your sessions.

But really, it takes strength and courage to reach out for help. Whether that is asking for support in your relationships, by seeking therapy, asking for help in school or in the workplace…life’s hard, you don’t have to go at it alone.

08/23/2022

WELCOME! I created this account with the intention of sharing content that is easily digestible. Maybe you aren’t ready to dive into weekly sessions but you want to dip your toes into making some change in your relationships? Or maybe you want some extra tips to supplement what you are already working on? However you got here, you’re right where you need to be ✨

Address

6200 S Syracuse Way
Greenwood Village, CO
80111

Telephone

+17204680366

Website

http://www.northstarrelationaltherapy.com/

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