07/10/2023
It's crazy, cruel, hurtful, and yet... I love it APPARENTLY.(Toxicity)
I've never really had anyone LOVE ME AND 100% DEDICATED TO ME..and in return, I guess I've nvr been able to be that for anyone else myself..
It's not that I CANT BE THAT FOR SOMEONE I LOVE .. It's more so that I'M GIVING YOU AS MUCH OF ME AS YOU GIVE ME OF YOU!!..
I nvr intend to go out and cheat. Cheating is not something that I can easily do WITHOUT it first being done to me, honestly..but even then, I can do it and that individual I chosen would nvr mean s**t to me.. used only for my revenge or childish retaliation..js. facts. Truth. .
I can love you to death and give my all and still have the ability to make selfish decisions due to others lack of respect and dedication... it's crazy but it's that eye for an eye tactic that I reciprocate and it makes me, just as toxic,, SELFISH, and compulsive as YOU ARE.. .... and that results into us both.. being a fkn lying Cheating piece of s**t to one another....
It's like if this energy you're giving me is saying, "HEY I LOVE YOU AND I MISS YOU AND I WANT YOU AND ONLY YOU...
but it's also HEY I WANT TO DO THIS TOO BUT TO DO THIS, ITS GONNA HURT YOU, BUT ILL BE BACK AFTER A FEW WEEKS/MONTH TO TELL YOU I LOVE YOU AND ACT LIKE IT NEVER HAPPENED."... then I'm going to act accordingly!!! .. However. . IF I DON'T REALLY LOVE YOU AND HAVE FAITH THAT THINGS BETWEEN US COULD ONE DAY BE WORTH EVERY TEAR SHED AND TIME INVESTED, ... I wouldn't even stick around or ever leave myself open or available to you for any type of gas lighting, lying, cheating, feelings,or manipulation. ...FACTS!!! That means that I see something in you that can possibly be and I see your worth.
I CAN LOVE YOU 100% BUT YOU GOTTA GIVE THAT 100% TO GET IT!!!... Till then, I'm here WHEN YOU ARE.. so don't ever have the nerve to come at me sideways and act as if I HURT YOU OR I STARTED THE BS just for you to not feel bad or make me feel bad JUST SO YOU CAN SLIDE ...FEEL ME?!?! BC I ALREADY HURT MYSELF BY CHOOSING TO LOVE YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE AND WAIT DAY FOR DAY FOR ME TO BE WHAT YOU WANT TO CHANGE FOR!!! ... PERIOD!!!.........
LOL ANYONE FEEL THE SAME ??? I SWEAR I CANT BE THE ONLY ONE WITH THIS MINDSET!!!
OH n b4 anyone jumps on here trying to judge, bash, or shame a m**o .. just know that you are wasting your breath, time, n energy. ..I SAID WHAT I SAID. ..
