11/02/2025
Every one of us faces problems, whether in relationships, work, or our inner lives. Conflict is inevitable, but how we respond to those problems determines whether we grow or collapse under their weight. Jay Adams, the pioneer of Biblical Counseling, emphasized that Christians must confront problems biblically rather than avoid them. He often said that our goal is to destroy the problem, not the person.
That single truth reshapes the way we approach conflict, sin, and discouragement. When we handle problems God’s way, we move toward redemption and restoration, not resentment or ruin.
Unfortunately, most of us default to one of three unhelpful patterns: denial, deflection, or despair. Each one offers temporary comfort but ultimately prevents lasting change.
1. Problems Denied: The Path of Avoidance
The first way we mishandle problems is denial, pretending the issue does not exist. Like the first diagram, we push the problem out of view and convince ourselves everything is fine.
Every one of us faces problems, whether in relationships, work, or our inner lives. Conflict is inevitable, but how we respond to those problems determines whet