Human Kindness Trauma Psychotherapy

04/18/2023

Human Kindness has gone completely virtual and we are growing! If you or anyone you know may be interested in applying, please email hello@humankindnesstherapy.com or check out our listing on Indeed.
https://www.indeed.com/viewjob?jk=5f71d55596ea94f8

12/24/2020

No one wants to think that our children could be hurt by someone in our own family but the reality is that our children are rarely abused by strangers... they are most often abused by people we love and trust. Whether you are a parent or not, be the adult that checks in with the kiddos running around the house this holiday season to make sure they are safe. 🤍

Please share! Help me protect kids.
If you will gather with family and friends over the next few days for Christmas please keep this in the back of your mind if you have children. Sexual abuse rises during the holidays. You are gathering with people you trust but it is often the people you trust that are hurting your children. You think your children are off playing in the basement or a bedroom with the other kids. What you might not know is they are being sexually abused somewhere in that house by a trusted person. Check on your children frequently during these large gatherings of family and friends throughout your time together.

My mother took this picture of me when I 12 years old at my aunt and uncles house on Christmas Eve. She had no idea I had just been locked in an upstairs bedroom sexually abused at the hands of my older teenage cousin. Who threatened me to stay silent as we heard other relatives down stairs saying it’s time to open presents.

Tradition in my home growing up we opened presents on Christmas Eve after gathering at a relatives home. A relative always drove us home since my parents would leave before us to put the presents under the tree before we got there.

That night after my parents left that cousin sexually abused me for a second time. My mother thought she was giving us the best Christmas ever with the big surprise waiting for us at home. It was the trampoline Dad said we could never have because they are too dangerous. The sense of relief I felt when we got home and I knew I was safe. It was the worst Christmas.

10 days later we would gather again for my grandpa’s birthday where once again I would be locked in my cousins bedroom abused and threatened.

6 days after that another cousin had her Catholic confirmation party. I found myself that night stalked through the house by my cousin trying to corner me and get me in a closed bedroom. After trapping me in a pantry I was able to escape and hide in a basement behind a washer. I held my breath and prayed God don’t let him find me as he walked right passed me while looking for me. I escaped being sexually abused that night. Little did I know when he couldn’t get me that night he went for my little sister in that basement and sexually abused her. This was all happening at gatherings of 30 people. Don’t think that someone couldn’t get away with doing this with so many other adults around. It is actually easier that way. More distractions to not be noticed with so many people in one place.

Here is a great article on keeping your kids safe during the holidays. Don’t let your child be the next victim of a life changing crime.

https://incacs.org/protecting-kids-from-abuse-and-stress-during-the-holidays/

I ask each and every one of you to share this and maybe we can help save one child this Christmas. ❤️🎄

11/21/2020

What an amazing response to give to our kiddos during a time when we feel so unsure ourselves. 🤍

🥰 "Big questions from young kids are hard. The balance between dismissing or overwhelming with too-grown-up answers is hard to navigate. Here's a north star to follow: most kids aren't looking for facts and forecasting, they are looking for safety ....."

Credit: Lindsay Braman - Therapist & Psychoeducator

10/12/2020

Child abuse prevention tips for the upcoming holiday season!

Quick Prevention Tip: Isolation

Predators can create one-on-one situations with their victims right in front of others, without initially seeming dangerous.

With thanksgiving in mind, here are some examples in a type of setting where families may be gathered to celebrate something in particular, and a predator wishes to isolate a child from others.

🚩Let's go downstairs and play board games!

🚩Can you show me the new toys you've got in your room?

🚩We should go for a walk while everyone cleans up dinner.

Hearing those phrases initially, it doesn't sound dangerous. Some may even say it sounds like a family member just trying to be friendly and spend time with a child.

At times, it IS in fact a safe adult wanting to spend time with a child, but there are occasions where the adult isn't safe at all.

Now what? You are at a gathering, you here these phrases and your gut says "This doesn't feel right", here is what you can do.

📣"I haven't played board games in ages. I'll go get some and bring them upstairs for us to all play together!"

📣"I'll get a bin and we can bring them all into the living room to show everyone your gifts!"

📣"I could really use some fresh air after this dinner, I'll get your cousins and we can all get outside before it is time for them to go".

1. You are eliminating the one-on-one situation
2. You are not accusing anyone of wrongdoing
3. You are showing you are aware, alert and your suggestions are not wrong, intrusive or unreasonable.

🚪OPEN DOOR RULE 🚪

Consider having an open door rule in your home, where all doors stay open when there are visitors. Whether it is school friends, family, children, teens or adults. No matter the relation of the person to the child, doors always stay open.

💥Sexual abuse can occur between two children, a child and a youth, and/or a child and an adult.💥

08/30/2020

Black Panther is and always will be such an incredibly important superhero to so many kiddos. Remember that the loss of a fictional character can be as real as any other loss for a child. 🖤

07/22/2020

Remember, these are tough times and there isn’t a “right way” to do much of anything anymore. 🤷🏻‍♀️
Despite the uncertainty of everything going on, we can always be kind to each other - especially about the hard decisions we have to make regarding what’s best for our kiddos and our families. 🤍

06/19/2020

05/22/2020

🧠Show up to your appointments.
🧠Listen to your therapist’s recommendation on how frequently you should attend. If you aren’t able to afford what they are recommending - talk to them about it!
🧠Make sure the therapist you see is someone you actually like, connect with, and trust.
🧠Talk to your therapist about how you are feeling about therapy and about your therapeutic relationship. Speak up if you feel like your therapist is missing the mark, if you are angry with them, or hurt by something they said.
🧠Dont just say what you think your therapist wants to hear or think that you have to please them.
🧠 Be curious about yourself and what makes you tick. Don’t judge yourself for what comes up or for what you discover.
🧠Don’t censor yourself. Say what you’re thinking. Use whatever language you need to or that feels natural to you.
🧠Try to keep the focus of the session on you and what you can control.
🧠Don’t stop attending at the first sign of improvement. Think of when your doctor prescribes antibiotics - they say to take the whole prescription, don’t just stop half way through when you start to feel a little better!
🧠Talk to your therapist about how you can get the most out of your treatment!

05/20/2020

Seeing a therapist doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you or that you are “broken” or need to be “fixed.”

IT COULD MEAN:
You have enough self-awareness to realize when you need help.
You are willing to try out something new.
You want to learn more about yourself.
You are tired of falling into old patterns or habits and are ready to seek change.
You want to figure out how to better manage emotions or handle stress.
You recognize the importance of healing old wounds.
You want to understand your triggers.
You are seeking personal growth.
You want to be a better partner.
It could mean whatever you want it or need it to mean.

There is no shame in growing, learning, being curious, seeking understanding, striving to be better, or simply just wanting to take care of yourself.

05/10/2020

To all the mamas out there.
To all the new mamas.
To all the soon-to-be mamas.
To all the solo mamas.
To all the furbaby mamas.
To all the foster mamas.
To all the step-mamas.
To all the grandmamas.
To all the should-be mamas.
To all the grieving mamas.
To all those yearning to be mamas.
To all those who have lost their mamas.

You are amazing.
You aren’t alone.
You matter.
Sending love your way. 🤍