Megan Von Fricken

09/30/2025

Growing up in fundamentalist Evangelical Christianity, I felt like my mom’s emotions and overall well-being were my responsibility.

If she was upset, I believed it was my job to figure out what the problem was and then fix it.

At the same time, I carried the immense weight of following every religious rule perfectly because I didn’t want her to have the burden of fearing for my eternal soul if I stepped out of line.

🔥 In fact, I hid my deconversion journey for many years because I didn’t want her to have emotional distress around whether I might be going to hell.

This double burden of emotional caretaking and religious perfection meant I rarely had space to even notice my own needs, let alone honor them.

My identity became wrapped up in managing others’ feelings and spiritual expectations rather than developing my own sense of self.

And it took years of healing to realize how much of myself I had been putting aside.

Looking back, I can see how this enmeshment wasn’t just about close family bonds but also about the blurred boundaries that made it impossible to separate my worth from my compliance.

📬 If this resonates with you, make sure you’re signed up for my weekly newsletter.

🗓️ This Friday, I’m going to be going more in-depth on this topic.

You can sign up via the link in my bio 🔗

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09/17/2025

I was raised mostly in non-denominational Evangelical churches, all of which were very fundamentalist in their teachings and practices.

And when I reflect on my childhood, I can clearly see how all 10 of these indoctrination tactics were used on me.

🎁 I’m sure it will come as no surprise that by the time I reached young adulthood, I was a “model Christian.”

In my case, being a model Christian meant perfectionism, shame, judgmental attitudes toward myself and others, and a strong fear of “worldly influences” were all deeply internalized.

The constant pressure to conform was exhausting, and it felt like I could never measure up to the impossible standards set for me.

I was so tightly wound with fear, guilt, and self-judgment that it affected nearly every part of my life.

🏃🏻‍♀️ For me, unwinding myself from the mentality that was instilled in me from an early age meant removing myself from the community that continually reinforced it.

Once I got outta there, I was able to start seeing things more clearly, and THAT’s when the real healing began.

For many people who grew up in high-control religions, the effects of childhood indoctrination can stick around long after they leave.

🙇🏻‍♀️ You might still find yourself battling perfectionism, guilt, fear of judgment, or the tendency to cut yourself off from anything or anyone that doesn’t align with your worldview.

I get it…

Healing from this kind of deep conditioning takes time, and it’s a process.

💬 Let me know in the comments which of these tactics mentioned in my post were part of your childhood indoctrination experience.

📬 And if content like this is helpful, make sure you’re signed up for my weekly newsletter (just follow the link in my bio).

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09/03/2025

Oftentimes, “true believers” are exceptional at answering people’s questions about their faith, doctrines, and belief structures.

In fact, I’ve attended many a sermon, Sunday School class, and Christian conference that actively trained members on how to respond to people’s questions.

But these questions were not to be engaged with in an open-minded, good faith kinda way.

Nope. The goal of engaging with questions was always to clear up any doubts or misgivings someone might be having, so you could draw them into “the fold.”

There’s a whole field dedicated to this called Christian apologetics, and some people (particularly religious leaders) are exceptionally skilled at it.

So while on the surface it might seem like a green flag to have a pastor or church member encourage your questions, take a closer look to see if their doctrines are rooted in what they’ll probably refer to as “truth” or “right thinking.”

If they claim to know “the truth,” then your questions are likely being covertly used against you as a subtle form of religious coercion.

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06/30/2025

High-control religions prescribe parenting practices that are know the create attachment injuries.

This is most often because of authoritarian parenting practices or emotional neglect.

Most people raised in a high control religion experience a combination of both of these.

If this resonates with you, I’m taking a much deeper dive into the topic of mother wounds in this week’s newsletter, and I’m planning to cover “Father Wounds” the following week.

👉🏻🔗 You can sign up by following the link in my bio!

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06/24/2025

Most of my clients are confronted with the challenging task of not only recovering from religious trauma, but healing from the attachment wounds that result from being raised by emotionally immature parents.

To understand more about emotionally immature parents, I recommend reading Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay Gibson, PsyD.

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06/23/2025

Phrases like “self-love,” “self-care,” or “self-compassion” may even be quite triggering for you.

Those terms were definitely triggering for me for quite some time as well!

But if you reflect on your religious conditioning, you’ll probably find that attuning to yourself was NOT an option.

Everything you did needed to be about honoring god and being “Christlike.”

Over time, there’s very little conscious awareness that this outsourcing of the self is what’s going on.

It has simply become the default mode of operating.

This is why it’s important to understand how self-abandonment is often such a cornerstone of religious indoctrination.

AND why recovering from religious trauma often requires a great deal of intentionality behind learning to attune to yourself.

To YOUR wants.

And to YOUR needs.

Self-love, self-care, and self-compassion are not “selfish.”

Being able to embody these concepts simply means you’re no longer self-abandoning 🫶🏻

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06/16/2025

I’m sure you could give me many other examples of how these harmful teachings continue to affect you.

If you feel comfortable doing so, please share in the comments.

I think it’s helpful for others to see that they’re not alone.

While we’ve each been impacted in unique ways, there are often common threads woven through many of our experiences.


📬 And don’t forget to sign up for the Religious Harm Recovery Digest!

This week’s email is about how rigid gender roles harm us all.

You can sign up using the link in my bio 🔗

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10/07/2024

Over on Instagram, there’s been a hot debate going on amongst my community about the terminology “high control religion” and “religious cults.”

A lot of people felt the terms could be used interchangeably but thought "high control religion" was more accessible for those in the early stages of deconstruction.

Others thought there was a distinct difference between the two.

Care to know what I think? This article explains my perspective👇🏻

Uncover the hidden dangers of high control religions. Learn to identify authoritarian leadership, coercive control, and rigid belief systems that can harm individuals and society.

09/30/2024

Ever wondered about the connection between high control religions and narcissism?

💡 High control religions often foster narcissistic traits in folks who are predisposed to narcissism. They also tend to attract people who are already narcissistic.

✨ Overt religious narcissists might position themselves as 'spiritual elites' with unique insights. They often rise into leadership positions because they love being the center of attention. The word "charismatic" comes to mind.

🕵️ Covert religious narcissists are trickier to spot. They often play the victim or relish being "the martyr." This is strategic because they're using their perceived suffering to gain sympathy from others as a way of subtly coercing or controlling them.

💬 Have you known people like this? If so, there are a few strategies you can use to protect yourself from their tactics.

🔗 In this article, I go into much more depth about this topic and outline some strategies you can use.

Remember, your well-being is the most important thing. Keep educating yourself, setting boundaries, and seeking support! ❤️‍🩹

Discover how high-control religions foster narcissism, the traits to watch for, and strategies to protect yourself from both overt and covert narcissistic behaviors in religious settings.