Kelly Farber, LCSW

07/11/2025

The older I get and the more I’ve learned both personally and professionally, the more I realize that real green flags are usually about how your nervous system responds to being around them

You don’t feel like you have to perform or overexplain yourself. You’re allowed to just be, even in your messy, tired, quiet moments. They remind you often that you matter. They don’t push your boundaries or make you earn love through emotional labor. They take responsibility for their actions. They’re willing to meet you halfway. And conflict doesn’t feel like a threat. It feels like two people working through something, together.

I am sharing this list because sometimes, when we’ve experienced emotional chaos or inconsistency for long enough, we stop recognizing what safety actually feels like. We start to mistake intensity for connection, or think calm is a sign that something’s missing. But green flags can feel unfamiliar when you’ve only known red ones. That’s why we name them. To help retrain the body and the mind to recognize what’s healthy. What’s steady and good for you.

PS. these green flags aren’t just for romantic relationships. They show up in friendships, family dynamics, and even in the people you choose to work alongside. Safety, respect, and mutual effort should be the standard across every kind of connection.

What other green flags would you add to this list?

Take care of your mind and body. Love, Nawal ♥️

07/08/2025

Yes! You can do hard things!!!!!

The sweet spot is just outside your comfort zone—hard, but doable.

05/15/2025

In this post, I am sharing a few evidence-based strategies simplified to target some common difficult emotions. For example, when you’re feeling angry, strategies like physical movement (to release tension) and cognitive reappraisal (asking “Is there another way to look at this?”) have been shown in research to support emotional regulation.

I share on emotion regulation often because it is one of those skills we all need regular reminders for. It helps us respond instead of react, and supports our mental health, our relationships, and even our physical well-being.

If you’re feel any of these emotions today, I encourage you to try the strategy listed and see how you feel. Please note: this is just a general guide, not a substitute for therapy or individualized mental health care. Everyone’s emotional experiences are unique, and what works for one person may not work for another. Use these as starting points, not prescriptions.

Take care of your mind and body. Love, Nawal ♥️

05/15/2025

This was one of the first posts I ever made on emotional regulation and I still share it today because the need for tools like this hasn’t changed

If you’re sitting with a heavy feeling right now, this might help. I created this visual using principles from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). It’s a simple step-by-step process to help you pause, name what you’re feeling, understand what triggered it, notice the thoughts it brought up, and ask yourself what you need next. Sometimes, just slowing down enough to do this can be the most regulating thing you do all day

Emotion regulation isn’t about getting rid of our feelings. It’s about learning how to respond to them in a way that allows us to learn a bit about ourselves, manage distress, and respond to our situation in a healthier way. And it’s a skill we can all learn especially if we didn’t grow up with models of emotional awareness.

Bookmark this. Revisit it. Practice it.

Take care of your mind and body. Love, Nawal ♥️

11/10/2024

Which side do you see more of yourself in?

Today, I wanted to talk about the difference between perfectionism and excellence because recognizing it can arguably transform how we see ourselves and approach life. Plus it is relevant to the topic of self-confidence which we’ve been discussing the past few weeks.

Perfectionism often stems from childhood, where we may have learned that our worth is tied to achievement. Praise for accomplishments can lead us to internalize the belief that we’re only “good enough” if we’re flawless. But perfectionism is rooted in fear: the fear of failure, of letting others down, of not being enough. Psychologically, this need for external validation creates a cycle of “never enough,” leading to anxiety, stress, and burnout. Instead of living authentically, perfectionism keeps us in the passenger seat, always driven by what others think.

Excellence, however, is rooted in growth and self-motivation. It’s about the human desire to improve for the sake of inner fulfillment, not out of fear or the need for approval. Studies show that striving for excellence builds resilience and joy because it’s based on self-driven goals, not external validation. People who focus on excellence see mistakes as natural and even valuable for learning, which makes the journey as meaningful as the result.

Choosing excellence puts us in control of our lives. Rather than chasing “perfection” to feel worthy, we can grow authentically, knowing we’re enough as we are.

Next time you’re pushing yourself, ask: Am I doing this to grow or to gain approval? This simple shift can help us feel truly fulfilled rather than always chasing “perfect.”

Take care of your mind and body. Love, Nawal ♥️

11/02/2024

A gentle reminder that we do not need to depend on others to reassure or validate us. We can do that for ourselves. This is how we start to build confidence and feel more secure in ourselves.

When you choose to accept and validate yourself, your brain registers that you are safe and capable. Over time, this builds confidence because you’ve created a habit of treating yourself with respect and kindness. It’s like telling yourself every day, “I’m worthy, I’m capable,” and your brain listens, slowly reshaping your self-view. This simple act is powerful; it can help you face challenges with greater resilience and trust in yourself.

Self-validation is a powerful tool, but it’s important to balance it with accountability to avoid excusing behavior that might not be in our best interest or aligned with our values. To monitor this balance, start by asking yourself two questions: Am I validating my feelings without dismissing them? and Am I also considering how my actions or choices impact my growth and others around me?

Take care of your mind and body. Love, Nawal

10/18/2024

It can be scary introducing yourself to new people or asking for a promotion. But you don't have to wait until you feel completely confident; you can take small steps, like these, to gradually gain confidence and improve your life.

09/25/2024

Anxious thoughts can overwhelm us, making it hard to deal with what's bothering us. And thinking about it more just makes it worse. Fortunately, proven techniques like these can help break the cycle.

08/14/2024

I ❤️ silence!

For many, silence is unsettling, forcing them to deal with thoughts they may not want to acknowledge, but experts suggest that time in silence can also deliver profound benefits, starting with these.

04/11/2024

04/02/2024

Daily rituals can provide structure, consistency, and a sense of purpose and can be essential for building and maintaining healthy self-esteem. Here are 7 you can try out today.

03/23/2024

It may not always be comfortable at first, but engaging in new experiences delivers a proven mental-health boost. In fact, the benefits are so wide-ranging that doing new things should probably be considered an essential element of well-being.