12/15/2025
For All of You. Know You are Seen and Loved
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Grief is a strange, unpredictable thing. I can move through summer feeling almost steady again, busy, distracted, excited even. For a moment it feels like I might finally be finding my way back to myself. But then Christmas arrives and everything shifts hard. The memories get louder, the empty space grows bigger, and suddenly the ache I carried quietly and calmly all year surges to the surface.
People around me start planning parties, nights out, festive catchups, expecting me to slide right back into the rhythm of celebration. They want the old version of me, the one who can say yes without hesitation, who can laugh without the heaviness in her chest. Some even look disappointed when I canβt do what they want, when my response isnβt cheerful or easy. Even other grievers sometimes expect me to be βover itβ by now, as if grief follows their timeline or mimics their strength.
But what they donβt understand is that I want those things too. I want the joy, the lightness, the ease. I want to show up the way I used to. But I physically can't. Iβm exhausted, not just from missing someone I loved, but from trying to communicate a pain that doesnβt fit neatly into words, pushing a worn-out body to go above and beyond. From trying to explain why I can be okay in July and undone in December. From trying to justify a grief that shifts with the seasons, the memories, the moments I didnβt see coming.
And to those who think I linger in my grief or judge the way I move through it, here is my truth: Iβm not choosing sadness. Iβm not holding on to the past because I want to. I am carrying something heavy, something that changed the way the world feels, and I am doing the best I can with it. I donβt need my grief to be βenoughβ for anyone else, or tidy enough to make them comfortable. My healing doesnβt have to match their expectations.
Iβm surviving. Iβm healing slowly, unevenly, honestly. And that is all it ever needs to be.
Writer: Healing Hearts
Artist: La Souris Heureuse
Source: https://pin.it/6CZkdvnOp
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