04/06/2026
I have a “suggestion box” for this column that’s a mile long. And this week’s topic is a LONG time coming. A sweet little girl at church has patiently waited for me to address her weekly question: “Dr. Kirk, what do I do about my eye boogers?!” (naturally, I immediately say “well, don’t eat em…” and she runs off giggling).
First off, let’s define what an “eye booger” is exactly. RHEUM (pronounced “room”), or eye matter, is a thin mucus that our body produces naturally in the eyes, nose and mouth. This mucus is used to trap particles, old skin cells, dirt/debris and oils that the body either produces, excretes or encounters. It also serves as a soothing lubricant when these tissues are irritated. Most of the time, we don’t notice this mucus, because by God’s design the eyes are naturally blinking and clearing this mucus. Think of it as having your wipers on. Every few seconds, the eyelids squeegee the windshield clear. That’s why we blink. God put our wipers on a low constant setting. While we are awake, this action USUALLY keeps rheum from building up. Sometimes, however, the build-up is too much to handle and an “eye booger” forms. Now, take the logic leap with me: notice I said “while we’re awake.” So, during the night, since the windshield wipers ain’t on, it’s no mystery why one might wake up “crusty” see? And seeing as we live in the Pollen Capital of the World, you may have certain times of the year that you are more boogery than others! If you have bad seasonal allergies, you may be the King Eye Bo**er of your land and rule with your royal warm rag. While I paint this gross mucus portrait for you, understand I am jesting about a wonderfully natural and helpful process to keep our eyes healthy.
So, should I “pick” my eye boogers, Dr. Kirk? Best not to. Remember, we are dealing with trapped waste particles, debris and/or germs, so smearing those things accidentally into delicate tear ducts and sensitive eyelash follicles is not a great idea. (plus, did you even wash your hands before you touched your eyes??? Always a no-no) The best solution is to use a clean, warm, damp napkin or cloth and gently remove boogers or crusties, as to not make MATTERs worse. See what I did, there? And yes, sudden excessive production of eye boogers may be a sign of infection, so get checked out if this occurs. Look, just don’t eat em. (Runs off giggling)
Yours in Health and Christ, Dr. Kirk
